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Thread: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

  1. #251
    Sidewinder is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    I am also finding it hard to send funny completely random out of the blue text messages to get a response things like T-mals example:

    "Hey Spunky-Pants, need your help! Do bow-ties go okay with a welding mask?"

    I mean honestly dude its awesome but what the fuck? a bow tie and a welding mask? I would never think of that!!

    Best I can think of is something like:

    "Hey Sazzlepuss! I saw a girl walk right into a lampost today! totally reminded me of you!....cut as!......make sure you keep one eye on where you going why your reading this text! ;P"

    That took me like 15-20 minutes to think of! I can't seem to get that sharpness and quick witty replies down I really have to think of something to pull out of the blue, unless i do actually see something funny that I can interpret into a text!

    Feedback on that would be appreciated - if i know what I am doing wrong I can work to put it right!

  2. #252
    Sidewinder is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Ok I am gonna start posting a few more interactions that I have so hopefully you guys out there can tell where I go wrong and where I am messing up!

    Literally just got a match on tinder with a HB9 and to my shocked suprise she messaged me first, so far this is how it's gone:

    HB: your a bit beautiful

    (yeah i nearly fell off my chair!- wasnt sure the best response to this so took me a while to think - but i thought guys arent beautiful girls are beautiful, guys are generally called handsome so i replied with this)

    Me: your a bit handsome

    HB: Why Thank you

    ME: You could definitely give Beckham a run for his money as a CK model! No question! lol

    HB: Haha!

    (was thinking how to respond to this cause a "haha" reply is crap!)

    ME: mmmmmm see looking at your pics I've now changed my mind about you......at first I thought it might be possible....and that's a BIG might....but I think now I have a different opinion ....... you defo wouldn't come close to beating me on a space hopper! No way!

    ok that's the last message i literally just sent so i will see how it goes then post some more...

    Please let me know how I'm doing here whether it's good or whether it sucks! much appreciated!

  3. #253
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    It just takes time & practice to get to the point where you can rip out a quick zinger on demand.
    You have to get yourself in a certain Mindset... so that you're always looking for humor in every situation at all times.

    Watch lots of comedies & get in the habit of wise-cracking with your friends. That will improve your reaction time immensely!


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  4. #254
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Quote Originally Posted by fredyyy View Post
    T-mal you're an experienced man, since you're texting is good then I'm sure you got a lot of dates, therefore, I truly like to hear your opinion on this:

    So, I met this girl online for the 1st time in a bar. I ordered a drink, but she order some food in addition to a drink. I'm not stingy or anything, but I didn't want to pay on the 1st date because many I'm not commited to that girl in fact I still barely know her. Second, all good Pua's agreed on not paying on a 1st date. So, when we ordered the check, I told her let's spllit. She said I don't have my credit card sorry. So, I looked at her with a look that I don't believe her, but I didn't do anything I just said I'll pay, and I walked away without waiting for her. Then she followed me and I felt she wanted to make it up for me by saying you can come tomorrow and shit...But I feel I was used. It's not about the money, but I don't like it when girls use the guy and go on a date just for a drink.

    How would you deal with this situation? I could have just paid for my drink and left her, but I felt I still should be a gentlman and pay. (Becahse that's what makes ME feel good). I'm asking this not because I care about the money I paid for her, but because this situation keeps coming up and it's important to deal with it the RIGHT way. I don't want to come across as a provider.

    Thank you for reading
    I still think too many guys blow the whole "don't pay" thing out of proportion.
    If you're at a club & you JUST met a girl, don't offer to buy her a drink immediately. THAT is the whole key.

    If you meet a girl online, & spend some time talking with her & getting to know her a bit, then it's totally OK to pay for drinks & / or a little meal. Just don't go for some extravagant dinner right off the bat... but sushi, or chicken wings, or a burger, etc. are all fine!

    I pretty much always pay the first time out... because we've spent a LOT of time chatting by then & I've flirted relentlessly with her, so I know the date is gonna be fun! It's worth it to me to spend maybe $20.00 or so.

    The date ALWAYS reaches some sort of sexual level, because of the way I frame our interactions leading up to it. So, if she's making out with me the minute we meet & our hands are all over each other, then why would I complain about spending a small amount of money?


    See what I mean?
    Use your head...
    Don't make an awkward situation out of something that shouldn't be a big deal.



    .


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  5. #255
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder View Post
    Ok I am gonna start posting a few more interactions that I have so hopefully you guys out there can tell where I go wrong and where I am messing up!

    Literally just got a match on tinder with a HB9 and to my shocked suprise she messaged me first, so far this is how it's gone:

    HB: your a bit beautiful

    (yeah i nearly fell off my chair!- wasnt sure the best response to this so took me a while to think - but i thought guys arent beautiful girls are beautiful, guys are generally called handsome so i replied with this)

    Me: your a bit handsome

    HB: Why Thank you

    ME: You could definitely give Beckham a run for his money as a CK model! No question! lol

    HB: Haha!

    (was thinking how to respond to this cause a "haha" reply is crap!)

    ME: mmmmmm see looking at your pics I've now changed my mind about you......at first I thought it might be possible....and that's a BIG might....but I think now I have a different opinion ....... you defo wouldn't come close to beating me on a space hopper! No way!

    ok that's the last message i literally just sent so i will see how it goes then post some more...

    Please let me know how I'm doing here whether it's good or whether it sucks! much appreciated!

    Sometimes the "Hahaha" messages are totally cool.... & the girl actually thought your last comment was funny & she's just at a temporary loss for words.
    In situations like that, I always lead the interaction by shifting gears slightly to see if she follows along.

    Your follow up message wasn't bad at all. Just be careful not to get too "neggy".

    But otherwise I'd say you were handling everything well.


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  6. #256
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Thanks T-mal, so far so good with the HB9 that i previously posted....she replied later last night after my last message with the following:

    HB: Oh I was hoping we could get on the space hopper hover her.
    Like Gavin and Stacey style x.

    (I actually have no clue as to what she meant with this, think it was a typo other than the reference to "Gavin & Stacey" which is a British comedy series and my name happens to be Gavin hers happens to be Stacey - who knew!! the following messages were based on the fact we share the names of these characters so it's gonna sound like a load of bullshit and to be fair it is!)

    ME: Well I actually have a mate called Smithy so if you have a mate called Nessa then we are shooting off to Barry Island for a first date!!

    HB: Ha!Ha! I don't but I'll find one! That would be an awesome first date! xx

    ME: That's your mission of the day! Befriend somebody called Nessa and then we can go eat fish and chips (fries) on the promenade of Barry Island!

    HB: I'd Love that! Can we get some rock too? x

    ME: Of course we can! But only if your good!

    HB: Where do you live?

    ME: I live in {my town}, but I'm guessing you live somewhere up North cause you seem to have a fun playful vibe about you! (thanks for this one T-mal) Either that or your actually THE Stacey from Wales!!

    HB: Yes I do in Manchester


    OK that's the last message and i think I am gonna bomb now cause she lives like 2hours 30mins North of me (no idea how that happened cause my parameters are set to like 60km - gutted!!)

    so it's not like I can arrange a quick date so I think she is gonna blow me out due to the distance - Now how do I play this - If i tell her I go to Manchester regularly (which i do as I have family there) does that lower my value cause I'm technically saying - "you live far away but that's cool I could still come see you" OR do I false disqualify her with something like - "that's a shame.....your really cute and you seem cool but Northern girls don't have the spunk to handle southern guys! we are way to fun! "

    appreciate any feedback!

  7. #257
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    I still think too many guys blow the whole "don't pay" thing out of proportion.
    If you're at a club & you JUST met a girl, don't offer to buy her a drink immediately. THAT is the whole key.

    If you meet a girl online, & spend some time talking with her & getting to know her a bit, then it's totally OK to pay for drinks & / or a little meal. Just don't go for some extravagant dinner right off the bat... but sushi, or chicken wings, or a burger, etc. are all fine!

    I pretty much always pay the first time out... because we've spent a LOT of time chatting by then & I've flirted relentlessly with her, so I know the date is gonna be fun! It's worth it to me to spend maybe $20.00 or so.

    The date ALWAYS reaches some sort of sexual level, because of the way I frame our interactions leading up to it. So, if she's making out with me the minute we meet & our hands are all over each other, then why would I complain about spending a small amount of money?


    See what I mean?
    Use your head...
    Don't make an awkward situation out of something that shouldn't be a big deal.



    .
    Thank you t-mal. I agree I feel the community planted in me the idea about paying or not and made it like a big deal more than it should be. I will use my head more next time haha

  8. #258
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    I'm proud of my boys here in the forums!
    Y'all are catching on & getting the hang of everything.

    The real secret is this...
    There IS NO such thing as "failure"... only learning experiences. So if you don't achieve the desired results, change your method a bit & try again. Then gauge how much closer you are to what your actual desired outcome is.

    Don't be afraid to experiment & push the boundaries occasionally.
    Don't be afraid to screw up at times... EVERYONE does that, including me! (STILL)



    The whole reason I personally take a fun, flirty, playful approach with women is because, FUN is the ultimate attraction switch! WHen a girl is having fun, she's relaxed... which means her Bitch Shield is off (or at least waaaaaaaay down) which means that your're less likely to face resistance from her.



    Soooo, as long as you're FUN & different from every other dumbass trying to get her attention, you're gonna have much more success.


    .


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  9. #259
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Sidewinder-
    The whole point of online dating is to meet people from areas where you're from, or spend a fair amount of time...

    So, telling her you go to Manchester regularly is NOT gonna be a bad thing... after all, you messaged her for a reason.
    And if you DO go to Manchester, then why not get together?

    My current GF lives 2 hours away from me at the moment.
    I knew that before I messaged her, but I went ahead & did it because I thought she what super cute.

    I've been to her place & she's been to mine...
    It's working out quite nicely!

    Trust me, you're not going to give off a needy vibe because you tell her you visit Manchester.



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  10. #260
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    Default Re: Texting do's & don'ts.. the "Conversational Bible"

    Nice one T-mal thanks for the advice I went back to her with this reply:

    ME: that's a shame, you seem pretty cool as well....I've heard you northern girls find southern guys way to much fun to handle! My bro lives in Manchester so I'm a regular visitor!

    sent this before I caught your reply so I'm now thinking I should have added something like "next time I'm up let's go buy some space hoppers, loser buys the fish and chips......so you better bring your purse!"

    Balls I so should have sent that! So far I've not had a reply but in the meantime I've been hitting up a few other HB's these are how I opened them and I got replies each time....

    Number 1.....

    ME: I'm gonna take a wild guess here - are you the "don't let her have shots or she will go crazy" one amongst your friends?

    HB: Maybe but not always! Haha! How are you?

    ME: I'm totally copacetic! I mean it's a Wednesday! Definitely the best day of the week! how many shots have you managed today?

    HB: Haha! No way! Erm a big fat zero!! You?

    ME: Seven! I now have no idea what I'm gonna do with this traffic cone, I've lost a shoe and I have no idea how this "I love Wednesdays" tattoo ended up on my forehead! Wednesdays are the new Fridays!!

    HB: oh hahahaha! I like alcoholics!!

    ME: I bet you do piss head!

    HB: aha! How rude!

    HB: always wanted to meet a real life ninja!!

    (My profile says I'm 20% ninja)

    ME: Nobody can meet a real life ninja! They wouldn't be very good ninjas! Luckily for you though I'm only 20% ninja so I'm definitely meetable, not quite mastered the stealthy stuff yet!

    HB:

    ME: So being as though I'm an almost talented Ninja, I can see your attractive but what's your unique talent or party trick?

    that's where it's ended so far no reply as of yet.......please feel free to point out what I could have done better! I'm trying to learn and everyday is a school day for me!!


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