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  1. #1
    KnightTurner's Avatar
    KnightTurner is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default New situation I've never had before

    Ok guys, here's the deal. This is a situation that I've never experienced before. Let's see your opinions.

    So, I met a girl online last night and we've been talking quite a bit. I asked her to dinner tomorrow (I have a one week rule that if I don't meet someone in the first week from when we start talking, it's a lost cause) and she dropped a bombshell: she has a boyfriend. Normally this isn't an issue for me, I either:
    1. If she's very attractive and I'd really like to have her use the boyfriend destroyer
    2. If I'm only moderately interested I just drop her and move on
    (I don't want anyone talking about the implications or morality of getting someone to cheat, that's not what I'm here for help on)

    But, here's the twist. He's leaving for college next month and she's staying home. So they're breaking up (apparently Aug 10 is the day they chose for this). She said she was definitely interested and wants someone to kind of talk to and get her through the breakup (and I'm perfectly fine with being just a rebound). However, she's made it clear she wants things to be platonic until we hang out, which will be after the tenth.

    I've tiptoed on the line of inappropriate conversation for someone with a boyfriend that I'm not trying to take (sending some rather flirty texts, getting her to qualify herself to me, etc.) and she hasn't responded consistently to them. She's actually responded more positively to the more suggestive texts than the more subtle ones.

    One last thing. She does not date guys who drink, which I obviously do otherwise it wouldn't be a problem that I'd be raising.

    So here's my question. How do I continue with this? Should I keep pushing the boundaries or step back and wait for them to break up? Also, how do I address the drinking issue? I've told her that I wouldn't do it around her and that I wouldn't ever pressure her to do it but this did not seem to change anything.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: New situation I've never had before

    I'd say do what you think is right, and think about whether or not you want to change who you are for a girl.

    If you don't have an actual "drinking problem" & it's more that you like to have a few beers or a couple cocktails from time to time, then it's basically a choice of "let her change me, or.. just be myself & move on"

    However; if you DO have an alcohol problem, then this girl could be really good as far as being supportive with you giving it up.

    None of us know that answer, so you'll have to make that call.

    Personally, I enjoy a drink on occasion. And there are millions of hot girls out there..... so I wouldn't change who I am for some chick.

    (Wait.... how hot IS she anyway???)


    haha!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    KnightTurner's Avatar
    KnightTurner is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New situation I've never had before

    My question concerning the alcohol is what could I do to make her more accepting of it. I definitely do not have a problem, enjoying the occasional drink as you do. My habits will not change, I'm just wondering how to address it to make her more accepting.

    And this girl... she's definitely an HB10.

  4. #4
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New situation I've never had before

    "Well, I don't date a girl who has a bf, so why are we even talking to each other? "


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