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Thread: Need some perspectives on this situation, am I seeing this correctly?

  1. #1
    Siempiee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need some perspectives on this situation, am I seeing this correctly?

    Long post, wanna paint the whole picture. Thanks in advance for reading!

    I met this girl at a party, about 2 months ago. Party ended abrubtly without me getting a chance to ask her number. The day after, I send her a message on Facebook. I told her how I liked talking to her and that we should go do something together. She agreed, but added: 'Just as friends though'. In which I replied: 'Friends already? That was quick...' She laughed.

    After this, I kind of said to myself, 'well, never mind man. She's not that into you, find some other girl'.

    Few weeks go by and suddenly she's looking for attention on facebook again, asking me to go have a drink with her. I figured 'what the hell, got nothing to do anyway. Maybe I can flirt a bit, show her how much fun I am, change her mind'

    This 'date' went pretty good, made her laugh very much and she did some Kino with me and I with her. But, the 'just friends' comment echo'd through my mind. I decided I was just going to be the most fun guy ever. Don't want to ruin her evening by trying a K-close when she doesn't want it. I figured, maybe if she sees how reserved and cool I am, interest in me will grow.

    I guess I was right. 2 weeks later we went to the zoo and had dinner, day after we went to the beach. Now, during these dates we are having a lot of fun and there is a lot of teasing going on and kino. Still I don't K-close. I'm always like that. I move on pretty slow, just enjoying the moments, not wanting to push onto something she might not want and then ruining the date/evening. I realise I probably should just 'go for it' quicker or get better in creating situations where kissing is obvious. Let's just say its work in progress. (any help on this would be great).

    I did kiss a couple of random girls straight away in a bar and had a One Night Stand and all that. I find the dating world to be a huge difference though.

    Yesterday, I took her to a music festival. Thing is, alot of my friends were there too. I was supposed to go with them, took her along for the ride when she showed interest in the festival. I still wasn't quite sure if she wanted me 'in that way'. Seeing as all the teasing and kino might have been 'just having fun'. She's pretty open, easy and loose to everybody. So I couldn't see that behaviour as ioi's.

    Now, I already decided I don't want the first kiss to be dull or lame or awkward.. So I wasn't gonna do that in front of my friends or some disgusting place (next to some shirtless guy with a huge belly rocking his ass off, for instance).

    I was hoping there would be a moment where we would be together if things picked up. That moment didnt come. However we were cuddling almost the entire day, dancing together, teasing. Telling me how she thinks I'm sexy.

    When I brought her home I still had a friend in the car so I kinda had to just drop her off and drive him home. I realise she's now really into me but I might have disappointed her for not kissing her.

    Today, when I woke up I immediately texted her to go see a movie. I want to close today. I figured I wanna be there 30 min in advance to get into the mood we were in yesterday and continue from there.

    This is her reply: 'you know, I live right next to the cinema, you can be here 5 minutes in advance.' I text back: 'I know, but, I like you too, not just the cinema'. She: 'well, I'm not going to let you inside anyway.' in which I reply : '5 minutes it is..'

    Now, this girl is really fun, and I want to not mess things up. I figured she probably doesn't want to be too clear about her intentions (letting me in her house), in fear I may again not do anything, and thus reject her. Alot of times this is why girls give mixed signals.

    Or maybe I blew my chances already and now we are in fact, just friends.

    What should I do? Absolutely kiss her tonight? No matter how awkward the situation might be? Or is it too late?

    Would be great to hear some opinions on this. Whatever happens I'm gonna enjoy watching how this plays out tonight. Any other comment on my decisions before are also greatly appreciated. I just want to see if I analyzed this in the right way, seeing if reading on this forums actually learned me something.

    Thanks for any reply!

  2. #2
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need some perspectives on this situation, am I seeing this correctly?

    do not underestimate the friend zone brother, this is where you get all your information about you're target, then you can seeduce by appearing attractive.

    Hope i helped

    Tyrone
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Need some perspectives on this situation, am I seeing this correctly?

    I'm always like that. I move on pretty slow, just enjoying the moments, not wanting to push onto something she might not want and then ruining the date/evening. I realise I probably should just 'go for it' quicker or get better in creating situations where kissing is obvious. Let's just say its work in progress. (any help on this would be great).

    Your game is your game. If you're happy with it then leave it as is; don't feel compelled to change due to outside pressure. All it sounds like is that you could use a compliance test or two. Here's a post I wrote on how to effectively use a compliance test.

    Now, I already decided I don't want the first kiss to be dull or lame or awkward.. So I wasn't gonna do that in front of my friends or some disgusting place (next to some shirtless guy with a huge belly rocking his ass off, for instance).

    What's wrong with that? Sounds ideal to me.

    Today, when I woke up I immediately texted her to go see a movie. I want to close today. I figured I wanna be there 30 min in advance to get into the mood we were in yesterday and continue from there.

    You wouldn't have to do that if you had her anchored.

    This is her reply: 'you know, I live right next to the cinema, you can be here 5 minutes in advance.' I text back: 'I know, but, I like you too, not just the cinema'. She: 'well, I'm not going to let you inside anyway.' in which I reply : '5 minutes it is..'

    Sh*t Test. Straight up sh*t test.




    Girls say the complete opposite of what they mean as a way of showing ASD. This is a good sign. If you're not hitting resistance, she's too easy. Stop listening to what she's saying and start listening to what she's showing. She's testing you as a man. You can't let the little sh*t faze you.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  4. #4
    Siempiee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need some perspectives on this situation, am I seeing this correctly?

    Hey Cody.

    Figured it was a Sh*t test, that why I just complied instead of throwing a fuss about it. (that was good, right?)...

    What's anchoring?

    About the compliance tests. She actually already put her hand on my knee and side by herself... So no test needed I'd say.

    Thanks!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Need some perspectives on this situation, am I seeing this correctly?

    That was good, right?

    Mostly, but you don't want to comply. Neutralizing is better. When she said "Well, I'm not going to let you inside anyway" I would have said "Whatever dude." That way not only do I not give a f*ck, but I've subconsciously friendzoned/negged her by calling her a dude lol.

    What's anchoring?

    Awh, sh*t. That one's going to take a while. I'll put it on my list of stuff to write (I'll make it a thread.)

    About the compliance tests. She actually already put her hand on my knee and side by herself... So no test needed I'd say.

    Green means go!
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  6. #6
    Siempiee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need some perspectives on this situation, am I seeing this correctly?

    Alright, thanks for the support. Looking forward to the anchoring thread.


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