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Thread: 3rd date and I've been Friend zoned

  1. #1
    dgmortal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default 3rd date and I've been Friend zoned

    So I was on my 3rd date with this HB9, she is 26 y.o and she has broken up with his 2.5 year boyfriend recently and is down. the date was boring, she was tired and I wasn't in talkative mood neither, she rejected all my attempts in Kino, she thrown a lot of sh1t tests at me, I passed them all I think but I couldn't build much rapport.

    This was our text conversation later that night:

    HB: Please forgive me if I don't let you touch me or hold your hands, I know it's unfair, but you must understand me and forgive me.
    (her prelude to friendzone right?)

    Me: What is stopping you?

    HB: I don't want to have any emotional or sexual relationship with the opposite sex, you may get upset but it's out of my control, I can't have those feelings anymore.
    (here she actually friendzoned me I think)

    Me: I see, but I can't have non sexual relationship with opposite sex either! your emotions are hurt, Its not fun for me dating you because you are a drain of energy. so I let you be alone until you get over your problems, it may take a month or two. let me know whenever you are ready to have a relationship.

    HB: You can have relationship with anyone you love, but we don't love each other, we are just friends.

    Me: You could do better, good night.

    Damn I know I reacted somewhat, BTW, does anyone know what I did wrong?

    What should I do now? Freeze Out and use the usual friendzone escaping routine? or continue boring dates as Friend and try to attract her in long term? (she told me her boyfriend was her friend first, so she may be expecting me to be like her ex.)
    If it frightens you, Do It!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Friendzoned

    Oh my lord you didn't lol. This is pretty bad my friend. You completely didn't sympathsize with her and didn't just push her away, but pushed her off the cliff!

    There are two different communication styles I noticed in people. Logical communication and emotional communication. Most issues that have to do with women can be solved with emotional communication.

    To sum this up even further....focus on changing her mood, not her mind. When you do this you miss the point completely. All you had to do was say "Ok I understand" and continue to escalate. She just got out of a relationship so ya gotta understand she's not in the right Mindset to meet new people. I'm surprised she even agreed to a date in her current state. (did not mean to rhyme)

    Now this is assuming that your goal is to sleep with her. If your goal is to find someone that you can be serious about NOW, then you did the right thing and can guarantee you won't have to deal with her anymore.

  3. #3
    dgmortal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Friendzoned

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    She just got out of a relationship so ya gotta understand she's not in the right Mindset to meet new people. I'm surprised she even agreed to a date in her current state. (did not mean to rhyme)
    I think the fact that she has just got dumped made her desperate to Make friendship with ANYONE to escape solitude.
    (my cold approach to her was a complete crash and burn but she called me )

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Now this is assuming that your goal is to sleep with her. If your goal is to find someone that you can be serious about NOW, then you did the right thing and can guarantee you won't have to deal with her anymore.
    No She is a quality girl and I want something serious with her.
    If it frightens you, Do It!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Friendzoned

    Quote Originally Posted by dgmortal View Post
    I think the fact that she has just got dumped made her desperate to Make friendship with ANYONE so she is not alone.



    No I want something serious with her.
    That I can understand. If you want something serious you HAVE to give her that space. Nothing worse than to find out a few months later that she no longer wants to be with you and wants to work things out with her ex. The definition of a rebound.

    So you did the right thing with a few mistakes I feel. I still think you should've sympathized, but showing anger could be a motivator for her to shape up. Just be cautious and be sure that she is READY to handle another monogamus relationship. This can take months mind you. Like 6+ months.

  5. #5
    dgmortal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Friendzoned

    So what should I do? do you think getting into the friendzone and sympathizing and cheering her up will work? (NICE GUY ) considering her ex was in friendzone first. if so I will text her with something like: "I made a decision to be your friend and help you through your problems"
    If it frightens you, Do It!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 3rd date and I've been Friend zoned

    You can be there for her if you choose to, but keep a certain distance so you aren't quite a friend. Never let her talk about the ex. Allow her to see you as her ESCAPE from her issues with her ex instead. You want to Anchor good feelings to you so every time she sees you she doesn't want to think about her ex.

    Also don't verbalize that you have decided to be her friend. Just do it! It sounds strange when you verbalize certain things like that. Like telling a woman "I know you are attracted to me so now we are going to get comfortable so that I can seduce you." No one talks like that. It's just a silent understanding between two people. So just start talking to her in a few days.

    If you are looking for a smooth transition to be able to talk to her after your reaction then you can try.... DUM dum dummmm.......apologi zing. Oh ish! Did I just say that? Yes I did. Alpha males DO apologize. Betas constantly apologize about everything. But apologize for your actions.....not the way you feel.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: 3rd date and I've been Friend zoned

    Thanks BatMan, so I will try to talk to her later about the good moments we had and other fun things and try to distract her from her ex, last night she text me again like this.

    HB: Aren't you upset because of me?

    Me: No, I see no reason to be

    HB: Please tell me If you are unhappy for anything I did, I don't want you to feel bad in future whenever you think about me or have any bitter memories about me.

    Her emotional state is messed up and she thinks she has broken my heart (but she didn't), she don't want to get intimate because she is afraid of the break up in the future and she don't want experience that again.
    Also when I ran the cube on her she described the horse as running towards her and she was scared of it.

    I think I don't need to apologize I should only be there for her and keep the distance so she don't feel we are in relationship or I have any agenda right?
    Its not crucial for me to keep her, I'm dating others as well, I just want to handle this girl properly.
    If it frightens you, Do It!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: 3rd date and I've been Friend zoned

    Have you kissed this girl?


    Jefe!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: 3rd date and I've been Friend zoned

    Quote Originally Posted by Jefe View Post
    Have you kissed this girl?


    Jefe!
    Damn NO! I usually k-close at second date 99% of the times but she was so against Kino all the time, I playfully hugged her, took her hands, wrestle her, but nothing sensual there. why are you asking?
    If it frightens you, Do It!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: 3rd date and I've been Friend zoned

    Any girl who won't kiss you on the first date either has issues, and you aren't her therapist, or is just keeping you around for validation, and you aren't her personal cheerleader.

    Girl didn't kiss on the first date, shame on her.
    Take her out on a second date, shame on you.


    Jefe!


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