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  1. #1
    squiggly is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Rate and Advice on my internet Profile!

    Hey guys
    I’m new to the forums and the main reason for stopping by is to get your opinion and advice on my online profile, any constructive criticism is welcome. My intent to join to forums isn’t exactly to learn tips and tricks and be a player, it’s not my personality as I’m pretty comfortable with myself and don’t have a shy side. I have read some material that circle these communities and I HAVE used them in my profile and you will know which parts.

    I have just started making profiles on internet dating sites, main reason just to improve on one self with verbal skills; I do find eye contact with strangers the hardest but just to meet new people and have fun, since all my close friends are in couple coma and I still enjoy the single life. If I meet someone special threw the sites yeh great, if I don’t I am not fuss.

    I have read a lot of other guy’s profiles and they seem so bland and boring, what i could improve on mine to make it stand out even more. I just made them late last night and have 10 pokes/requests already. 99% of the facts I mention are true I enjoy snowboarding/motorcycle/ own a cat ect ect


    I was going to post a link but i need to do alot of posts firsts, so here is the write up

    (ABOUT ME)
    Yes I work in a trade, that's right ladies I'm a tradie. So I fit the stereotype of 6 foot plus with rock abs and a amazing tan, I also know what tools to use for the right job. As you can see I'm 78kg dripping wet but with a quirky sarcastic humour so who needs brawn, right? I understand it's difficult to meet new random people, I'm certainly no magician at it and find it magically easy, well I am learning new tricks slowly and I did buy a magic book online from amazon, if you would like to see I can detach the tip of my thumb and reattach it. I'm not saying it's easy but if you open up your world I will open up mine and we can explore the depth together like Indiana Jones does in The Temple of Doom.

    I have never been in a fight. Well a girl did beat me up once and she took my snack pack, at least my money maker(face) was undamaged. I have a fun and quirky exterior with a gooey cameral middle, I am able to laugh and make people laugh all day. They might be my defences but spend some quality time with me and ill open up to you and melt by showering you with affection.

    I do own a cat, but she doesn't live with me because she didn't want to pay for rent, her name is Tiger. She runs around and plays when I use a laser pointer I'm able to get her to do somersaults and barrel rolls and she comes to me when I call her. I got the old girl for my 12th birthday so she is getting cranky with age but it's purrrre affection when she's tries to scratch my face.

    During my free time and weekends I jump on my motorcycle and enjoy the summer down along the coast. I don't ride in the cold as my fingers and toes nearly fall off an the abominable snow yeti scares me way too much. Each winter I try and hit the slopes 4 times a season, I love the freedom of snowboarding and teaching the yeti who is the boss on the mountain with my skills of crashing.

    I have a bucket list. I still need to throw rotten tomatoes at people in Spain for fun, run along the cyclists of the Tour de France so I can get my mug on the TV back home when it's on SBS, last but not least jungle hike through the Amazon rainforest. Adventure Travelling! In the next year or two, i hope to get my scuba diving and solo skydiving tickets, I am terrified of heights which I found out on top of the Eiffel tower so jumping out of a plane should scare that fear away. Always need to push yourself and drag somebody for the ride.

    Im looking for a girl with attitude, who cares what people think of you and speak your mind. I'm not after a mute with no emotion or personality, otherwise I would have a manikin standing in the kitchen. I'm after a best mate that enjoys spontaneous car makeout sessions, my guy mates knocked back the offer when I mentioned that scenario. So just blurt out what's on your mind.

    (FIRST DATE)
    How does bowling sound for the first date? I haven't been for years and I'm terrible at it, so your guaranteed to win and have a good time. The way I see it, this new world of internet dating can take 1, 6, 12 months or never to meet someone right, at least I should be really amazing at bowling and make it to the pro tour. So take your time and have a good read of my profile and if you like what you see give me a buzz (not the playstation game) i ask only one thing from you. Answer this question in your first email to me.
    What do you think is the sexiest fruit?

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rate and Advice on my internet Profile!

    Trying way too hard, it's way too long and unstructured. You start out talking about tools and your abs. Talk about your heart.

    Structure it into 3 short paragraphs:
    1 - who you are
    2 - what you want
    3 - what your first date will be

    I wouldn't mention your pets in such detail, I wouldn't mention being beat up by a girl even if jokingly at school, I wouldn't mention Indiana jones in the context you have, I wouldn't mention you are learning magic tricks, I wouldn't mention yeti's or crashing on the slopes. I wouldn't waste time telling girls to read your profile or asking them to email you with their favorite fruit. You will have to email the best girls first and the first thing they will do is see your profile - your picture (are you her type? And your words - are you going to have a connection?). Make it easy for them to quickly be intrigued and want to write back. Cast out one good clear hook rather than many small unattractive hooks.

    Instead in your opening paragraph say you are tall, ambitious, handsome and healthy and have a big heart (confidence and charm) good at making things with your hands and fixing things (create mystery instead of almost apologizing for being a tradie), say you want to build your own dream house one day (ambition) and you might even build a special walk in wardrobe just for shoes (humour). This is perhaps where you can signify you are different - describe the dream house you will build as being unique; like you want a rose garden atrium or you want it to be a castle of spa baths and waterfalls or your plan is to have a paddock with a horse (think about what chicks want too!). Make sure you have taste though and if you don't have artistic flair then say you are great at building amazing structures but need a womens touch to make the interiors work. You like speed and adrenaline riding and snowboarding, but you have a softer side when idle and like animals including your pet (you don't necessarily have to say its a cat just that you are cool with animals).

    Once you have described yourself in a way that will instantly tick a lot of girls selection criteria and hopefully show you to be different (dream house) you can briefly describe what you want in a women. *If you are after any women at all make it fairly broad and if you are after a specific target (like a gothic chick or sporty chick) make it specific. Say upfront you want to meet a beautiful, stylish and intelligent women. To me that is better than saying you want a women with 'attitude'. You can be a bit more humoress here and if you want to talk about spontaneity don't apologize for it or describe an unromantic car make out session, just say 'I like a girl who is spontaneous, a girl who can take her shoes off and walk with me along the beach, a girl who will try new exotic foods, travel to adventurous places, kiss me atop a mountain with the world at our feet.'

    Lastly describe your first date (what you can provide). Forget bowling as a first date and emphasize good conversation (create a connection) at a quaint cafe or low key but romantic restaurant. Say it will be fun - a good time. Not every girl bowls. Every girl eats. Make the first date easy and attractive.*

  3. #3
    squiggly is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Rate and Advice on my internet Profile!

    Cheers mate for the reply, totally understand what angel your going at and agree after reading what you wrote it was unstructed and to much "trying humor"

    when i mention the tradie part i wasn't trying to make it sound like a bad thing (its not) in australia the sterotype of a tradie is this big brawn well rugged man thats built like a god with amazing tan. I'm quite different. Being 24 at 5'10 and weighing 78kg great smile, i look acouple years younger than my age.


    OK
    Im currently at work but this is a roughy roughy dodgey draft with what you wrote as a base.

    I’m very ambitious, handsome and healthy and have a big heart. I’m good at making and fixing things with my hands. In the near future I would like to build my own dream house and I might even build a special walk in wardrobe just for shoes. I would like the house to have a rose garden entrance when you drive in with cobblestone pavers to lead us to the front door. It will be located overlooking a valley so you can hear the sounds of nature and the running river below. I’m great at building amazing structures that will stand the test of time, but they need a women’s touch to make the interiors work to create a home.
    On the weekends and me free time I hop on my motorcycle and enjoy the summer along the coastal roads. I like speed and adrenaline with snowboarding and wakeboarding to fill that void. I do have a softer side when at idle, I like animals and spending real quality time with my family and friends. Talking and caring about the real issues in life and living every moment to its fullest.

    A quaint cafe or low key but romantic restaurant that will involve great conversation with a bottle of Shiraz to share with our meals. Followed by a walk with me along the beach under the moon light.

    (ran out of time at work to edit yours now but I would end with this) I want to meet a beautiful, stylish and intelligent women. I like a girl who is spontaneous, a girl who can take her shoes off and walk with me along the beach, a girl who will try new exotic foods, travel to adventurous places, kiss me atop a mountain with the world at our feet.

    This is just a very rough draft, the only problem i feel its like its not purely me/honest im just larrikin with a my group of mates that has a huge smile and great laugh and i seem to find girls come upto me and say "you seem like fun one, you mind if i hang out with you guys?"

    Thanks for your feedback, much appreciated

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rate and Advice on my internet Profile!

    Hi Squiggly, Im australian too so totally understand. It doesn't matter whether you're a tradie or a lawyer it's whether you are a guy who can make dreams a reality and sweep them off their feet. It's also about not making mistakes so what I wrote was rather plain and unadventurous, going off your first post and it was merely suggestions. But the point I wanted to make is to try encode womens selection criteria into your profile so they instantly tick a whole bunch of boxes next to your name rather than clicking onto the next guy. That is why its good to keep it short punchy and with a good hook.

    Women are naturally going to most likely look at your profile picture first and decide if you are 'their' type. Most girls go for a particular type of man and it is impossible to be every girls type. But you can try be a good type to many girls or the best type for your target group of women. Have a good natural pic. Dont need to look like George Clooney or Jude Law, but need to ensure your picture doesn't accidently turn off women straight away uneccessarily. Next will be what you write. Will a girl be able to form a connection? What are your values in life - your upbringing, your attitude towards women, your honesty, your intelligence in expressing who you are? They can all be subtly crafted into a boring or outrageous profile depending on your literary skill. Again the main thing is simply not to make mistakes because so many men (your competitors) will be making silly mistakes like taking vain pics with their shirt off flexing or describing their ex girlfriends or showing off how many women love to be around them or talking about how they live with their grandmother or discussing world or warcraft.

    You can certainly be a larrakin and adjust the profile to your personality - be yourself - but I would avoid saying 'me freetime'. Say 'my freetime'. It's simply lowering risk.

    The idea of building your own house someday is also merely an off the top of my head suggestion - it's really about trying to give a girl an easy to remember clear goal or ambition to remember about your profile (a hook) rather than many scattered hooks. It's something that might encourage her to think of something to write back to you about giving future conversations a starting point and dialogue. It's also low risk and may induce her own fantasies about 'nesting' and family. You can probably shorten the dream house down to a sentance if you are going to use it. Shorten and edit everything down to the bare minimum. 'Id like to build my own dream house (shows off your ambition, talent, strong, wealthy), with roses and lavender to the entrance (shows you understand and include women), deck, waterfall and spa out the back (you understand romance and relaxation) and maybe even a huge shoe wardrobe (humour)' So sometimes you dont even have to say 'I am ambitious', you state it indirectly in what your dreams or goals are. Keep going back over your profile and edit out anything that is repeated un-neccessarily or already explained in other ways.

    I was watching the US dating program 'take me out' for a laugh the other day and was amazed at how many guys failed completely. It might be worth a look at programs like that...many guys who you think are going to succeed don't. An indian PUA came on with false confidence and left not only without a date but many people appauled at his comments about wanting multiple partners. The guys with awesome bodies came out and had the ladies initially ooing and ahhing but were ultimately idiots in love with themself or the girls thought they were too busy and exciting to have time for them. The guys who were down to earth, comfortable in their own shoes, didn't try too hard, were intelligent and had talent succeeded the most. They genuinely showed their heart and soul off. They showed their inside off, not their outside and succeeded.


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