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  1. #1
    Uppintheante is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Text Message Fail with girl I met on Saturday night?

    So, I had a first date planned with a girl I met on Saturday night. I think she got The Vibe that I was a huge player, even though I denied it. We made plans to go out on Wednesday night--she texted me a time that worked for her on Monday, and then called me on Tuesday to change the location, but we both said we were excited. Then last night I had this conversation:

    Her: Yeah I've changed my mind let's not go cause you don't know me that well.
    Me: That's too bad, I liked what I did know . Enjoy your summer.
    Her: Facebook me bro
    Me: Not your bro. I honestly don't like Facebook. Prefer to get to know each other in person. More fun that way.
    Her: So yur in a domestic partnership?
    Me: Yeah, currently living with ------ and her husband.
    Her: Lawl
    Me: It's tough cuz we both have strong feelings for the husband, but we make it work.
    Her: Omg sounds like a Bollywood film in the making
    Her: lol
    Her: Don't worry yur popular you'll find other fishes.
    Her: C'mon dude you don't even know how old I am.
    Her: I could be an undercover cougar.
    Me: We can discuss where to bite me later.
    Her: Oh that's not sketchy at all
    Her: How many girls do you need in a week?
    Her: Get yur TI-83 it's gonna be a big number
    Me: This isn't gonna work out. I'm off to bed. Those last 2 texts were incredibly rude, you don't even know me.


    Problem is I actually liked this girl, just really thrown off from what went to an "Excited to see you tomorrow" to that conversation. Lots of red flags, probably dodged a bullet, but how could I have handled this better?

    Tl;dr: Girl cancels date. Girl freaks out and gets angry. I get annoyed and end things.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Text Message Fail?

    I think it was actually going pretty well for the most part.
    But when she "sh1t tested" you with the "how many girls" thing, you bombed out by reacting.

    You should have either ignored it & changed the subject by saying something like, "You are SUCH an instigator! So, anyway, have you ever... blah blah blah"

    Or "That depends on what the word "girl" actually means.. hahaha! So anyway, I was just thinking..blah blah blah.."



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  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Text Message Fail?

    You blew it way before the last set of texting otherwise she wouldn't have changed her mind. The last few texts were just final nails in the coffin so need to know more about what you did leading up to it all?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Text Message Fail?

    Honestly I think you can still recover. I'm sure not many guys "put her in her place" the way you did. I did something very similar and it even ended with a "goodbye forever" type of tone on both ends. The next day I text her like nothing happened and she reciprocated and even wanted to talk about it with me. Like a real fucking relationship!! Pretty cool. Oh and we are still in contact currently.

    So I say immediately text her tomorrow with a sympathic ear. I dare you to try the "Look I didn't mean to overreact. It's not everyday someone affects me like that." Double dare ya. BOOM! Done.

  5. #5
    Uppintheante is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text Message Fail?

    In terms of what I did before, I can go into the whole background, and one really stupid thing I had said.

    It was Saturday night. Like 10 minutes after entering the bar, I went home with an Asian girl, smashed, and two hours later went back to the bar to meet up with my friends. On the way back home, I ran into this girl and her friend, and went up to them as soon as I got off the taxi and said "Hey, are you guys headed over to the ____ trains? I'm think I could give a couple of pretty girls some company." They smiled, seemed receptive, and we walked around for a bit, flirted a bit, no Kino. Now the one mistake I did was in the middle of the conversation they asked what I had been up to and I said something along the lines of "I had awkward sex with my first Asian." Either way, at one point I walked away from them and they walked back over to me and re initiated contact. That night I grabbed her number and said good night and bounced. Then our only conversations have been via text and one short phone call:

    Sunday:

    Me: Ms. Player. I got your number so in the spirit of sharing, I'll give you mine. (She had put her name as ___ Player into my phone. I denied being a player or anything, but she didn't buy it I guess.)
    Me: And on Wednesday night, I'd love to check out that waterfall. I'll bring the OJ, you bring the Ciroc.
    Her: Haha it's pineapple
    Her: Lol ms. player...
    Her: Are you inviting me to have awkward sex?
    Her: -_-
    Me: Very awkward. Limbs everywhere.
    Her: Yeah... about that
    Her: I couldn't find ___ or what's it called
    Me: (insert website here) Lemm know if Wed 7:00 works, I have to eat my way to morbid obesity now .
    Her: Kk I'll let you know.

    Monday:
    Her: Wanna meet at ___ I love their drinks at ___.
    Her: ___ and ___
    Me: Like to be in charge? Don't get me drunk and take advantage.
    Her: Friend me funny man (on sunday she fb friended me and I didn't respond, since I don't wanna fb friend a girl before ever even hanging out with her. fb has led to drama in my past, so I try to avoid).
    Me: Make that 7, I'm choosing dinner afterwards, and it's a date.
    Me: Just to confirm, this is for Wednesday, right? I can't do tonight.
    Her Yep.

    Then we had some light conversation, where she said the place she had proposed was too expensive, and to change the location to near my workplace. I readily agreed, and said I know a place nearby, and I was excited to meet her. Then I got that text that night.

  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Text Message Fail with girl I met on Saturday night?

    Thanks for explaining more. She has definate interest but is either understandably cautious or playing you by canceling the date so you try harder. She actually joked 'are you inviting me for awkward sex?' and you had a great come back 'yeah limbs everywhere'. That kinda worked out well. Perhaps show another side of yourself to reignite her intrigue and give her some confidence you are capable of treating her well. I think girls like a bad boy with a good heart. She already knows your confident and funny and she should realize you are also honest but she may need to see more depth to who you are so it's worth trying to regain attraction again. I think batman is on the money in acting like nothing happened but also giving her some value that she has made an impact on you and showing a sympathetic compassionate side of yourself (badboy with a heart).

  7. #7
    Uppintheante is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text Message Fail with girl I met on Saturday night?

    I used Batman's reply verbatim:
    Look I didn't mean to overreact. It's not every day someone affects me like that.

    To be honest, I'm usually way more used to dealing with the typical bar/club girls who don't put in much emotional involvement, so I don't either. I just didn't know to deal with this girl's insecurity/cautiousness so I snapped. But it's the cautious ones that are the good girls.

  8. #8
    Uppintheante is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text Message Fail with girl I met on Saturday night?

    I never got a response to the look, I didn't mean to overreact text. It's now a week later with no contact, and I was thinking of sending this:

    I met this cool girl on a train at 4am once and we never hung out again. I'm gonna be in Central Park on Sunday afternoon, reading a book, eating some ice cream, and getting some sun. Maybe she'll be there too.

    What do you guys think?

  9. #9
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Text Message Fail with girl I met on Saturday night?

    That's too bad she didn't respond to that. Guess there were unseen variables that no one can do anything about.

    I do like the sound of your text. And it has been a week which is a decent time. You have my vote to send it.

  10. #10
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Text Message Fail with girl I met on Saturday night?

    That's actually not bad... but it still sounds a little uncertain.

    I'd try going with a cliff-hanger, or something funny.

    "I can't stop thinking about..." Then be prepared to respond with something kinda sweet like, "...The day I met you on the train. One of my favorite memories. "

    or

    "Where ya been? Are you living on your own private island now? Say hi to Gilligan & the skipper for me."

    Both are completely unexpected messages, so they'll get her attention, which is what you need to do for now, to get her responding.


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