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  • 1 Post By misterp2112

Thread: what to do if the first message doesn't work and profile critique

  1. #1
    vitality is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default what to do if the first message doesn't work and profile critique

    I accidentally posted this in the wrong part of the forum, I guess I'm still getting used to this one anyways...

    My pof profiles name is awesome_Eric. (comments? and why can't I un-underline it?)
    So when I send out messages on pof or match (my match profile is pretty much the same but a bit shorter) they'll open the message, they'll look at my profile and maybe a quarter of the time they'll actually message me back. Even when using the basic templates of what's worked for others on here doesn't tend to be that successful. Does anybody have a follow up message they use to neg them for not returning messages? I know it seems kind of try hard to message them more then once but geographically I'm running out of good looking girls.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: what to do if the first message doesn't work and profile critique

    I had some of the same troubles early on when I was testing the world of online dating/pickup.
    So I decided to try something a little different & creative.

    Something I had pretty good results with, was a "Top Ten List"

    It was "The Top Ten reasons XXXXX never replied back"

    Then I listed 10 ridiculous, funny, smart-a$$ reasons like:
    "She forgot to pay her internet bill & service was cut off."

    "She was only looking at photos because, she doesn't actually know how to read"

    "She was disappointed that I DIDN'T have a 'shirtless/bathroom' pic in my profile.."

    Stuff like that.. Pretty much calling her out for ignoring my first message.... but in a playful way.

    It doesn't always work, but that one HAS gotten me more replies after sending it, than most other methods I've tried.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    misterp2112 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: what to do if the first message doesn't work and profile critique

    TM,

    Top Ten, haha. That's awesome!

    Eric,

    Disclaimer: I am far from an expert on POF, but, have gotten replies and gone on a couple dates.

    My initial read of your profile tells me it is too long and therefore smacks of desperation. You have a lot to offer and I can tell you're a good guy, but, to me, it seems that this is getting covered up in too much detail. It comes across as heavy.

    What kind of messages are you sending? Are they a sentence or 2? Anything longer feels like too much effort to a woman.

    What has worked for me, and I can't claim it will work for you is to say something like:

    You have amazing eyes or
    You seem pretty cool or
    You're very straightforward. I like that!

    followed by "Wanna chat?"

    Sometimes I add a "" at the end.

    I usually get a "Why thank you! Sure, let's chat. "

    IMHO, better to keep it simple, short and sweet. I get the feeling you may be coming on too strong. To borrow a line from RHCP, "Sweet talk, but don't intimidate her" This line resonates in my brain whenever I talk to women in the real world too. Take a breath and pull off on the trigger does wonders.

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    vitality is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: what to do if the first message doesn't work and profile critique

    muchas gracias for the responses guys
    I'll have to borrow from that follow up email and see what happens since mine weren't working.

    To the one who said my profile was long and might put out the desperate vibe...I actually had to shorten it since I'm a chatty guy and have a lot going on. what would you delete from there if you were me? It's hard dialing down my best foot forward when I got so many feet that are meant for kicking a$$

    I do get complimented on it since it's definitely out of the ordinary which is one of the things I wanted.

  5. #5
    misterp2112 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: what to do if the first message doesn't work and profile critique

    Hey Eric,

    Ok, I understand. Chatty is good. Especially since women sometimes don't want the burden of keeping the convo flowing. The right one(s) will come along. Good luck dude!


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