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Thread: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

  1. #11
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    Quote Originally Posted by Cider8 View Post
    You know, now that I'm on this topic, I'm planning on taking her someplace nice for dinner, $$$ on yelp. She's a chill Jersey girl, with a good job, but not so high maintenance. Is there an opportunity/flaw here I may be missing with the location I'm choosing? I have planned dinner, then a bar w/ live music, then there's a few parks by the bay we could chill alone after. All by each other. All she knows is she's dressing nice. I want to have variety for the night based on the progress.

    Should I take her to a sh*t show, throw her off, lmao.
    You don't have to spend a lot of money.... just sayin'
    I paid for a $6.00 sushi roll the first time I took my current girl out. That's all.

    And I kid you not, she keeps paying for just about everything now! She always asks ME out & surprises me with things all the time.

    But I DO have to give her amazing sex! So it's not like SHE'S investing everything.... I'm doing a lot of hard work.



    OK... as much as that is completely true, the point I'm making is, don't spend a lot of money early on. & don't be a d1ck either.... Just make it about having FUN.

    FUN is the golden ticket to attraction.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  2. #12
    Cider8 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    The crazy thing is, I AM this FUN guy you're talking about. As I get older, he 'comes out' and 'stays out' more and more, slowly killing the insecure b*stard inside and turning it into comfort. I'm also very self aware and aware of my surroundings, I want people to have a good time, lift them up, etc.

    When it comes to a girl, this is where I teeter in the line between becoming a friend or becoming more. The girls become intrigued and attracted at one point or another, it's what I do with that, that's the challenge. I believe if I get this push/pull, positive negging, maintaining value, etc, I can really break through. Girls just wanna have fun.

    Thanks for the post, tmalonetn. I'm gonna get there, sooner or later.

  3. #13
    Cider8 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    Good deal, yea I don't wanna push too far/try too hard. Showing her a good time is my intent, can't be 2nd guessing myself no more.

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    Cider, buddy, what you're doing is what I call;

    "Putting the pussy on a pedestal"

    You have to get the "who really cares" mentality and go have FUN. Teasing/negging/ Push/Pull are done because they are fun, fun for BOTH of you.

  5. #15
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    I agree that the neg has been severely misinterpreted. Most of the time I notice guys talking about teasing and think they are negging. A neg is a form of teasing, but not quite. It's more specific.

    I also notice that things are kind of going backwards that showing emotions is a bad thing. This is old school typical male mindsets. We are PUAs and have to understand that showing emotions, even negative ones, can be done and still make you look alpha. The trick is knowing when, how, and exactly how much to show. Trying to hold back emotions, like if you are upset, is an old style thinking. Only in attraction phase should you be careful of being reactive or a "drama queen" because of the chance she will not care and it'll just make you look beta. But after she does give a shit whether you walk away or not is a good point to start showing those emotions. Like if she flakes on you. Don't be cool with it unless you haven't built enough attraction. If she is very attracted and you show that something she did upset you, trust me she will worry about her fucking up her chances and try harder. Which is the whole point of building attraction, so that if you walked away she would see you as a loss in her life, and she doesn't want that.

    Yes Cider8 I prefer multiple mini-dates rather than one big one at a single location because it does a Time Distortion which alot of people forget. It takes between 4-7 hours (cumulatively) for a woman to feel comfortable enough to sleep with you on average. So going on mini dates will give the impression that you have spent more time together than you actually have and will increase your chances.

    I know this was long winded, but I had to follow up on tmalonetns response.

  6. #16
    Cider8 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    So she ended up texting, then calling me on Wednesday to go out on our date. She looked to me for what to wear and I told her to look good for me. In the car we made small talk, I was a bit hesitant but playing it cool. She was driving and displaying her alpha personality, it was hard to compete with so I kept it chill and asked her questions, she was in a good mood. I think she noticed I was slightly off a bit, but it didn't last too long.

    When we got to the spot, we got out of the car and started walking. She immediately felt comfortable putting her hand around my arm, shortly after we were making jokes about how she likes to hold hands, comparing the "palm hold" and how it feels like a girl holding daddy's hand vs. the "interlocking fingers" and how it makes her feel taken care of (directed, controlled, and submissive is what i took it as, e.g. wants an alpha male) so we held hands that way.

    We were being silly and stupid, then at dinner it was casual conversation. Here is where I am just being myself and engaging..a lot of it was natural but I want to work on learning the language to become more irresistible and desirable. Like having things to say to strike her emotions and get her oozing with excitement/attraction.

    I bought 'The Game' about 5 months ago and haven't had a chance to read it..until now. So I'm on the first couple chapters as I get out there and begin to more consciously notice my mistakes and where I could improve.

    At the dinner table, we ate, drank wine that we bought together (it's a BYOB fancy place, kind of an oxymoron if you ask me but it gave us something else to do together), at a certain point I was comfortable enough to give her a kiss on the cheek, she liked that. She's a love sap, looking for an interesting romantic that isn't predictable. That's what I gathered.

    We go to a nearby bar after, there we chat some more and in our euphoric tipsiness we begin to make out. The stay there is a mixture of flirting and kissing. Afterwards, we listen to a band we both like in the car and rock out to it..then make out some more. She takes me home, she looks at me when we arrive, giving me the eyes. I move over to her side and after a few minutes she begs me to stop because she knows what'll happen if we continue. We say our farewells.

    She tells me she's home safe:

    Her: Home safe. Thank you again for a great night.
    Me: I enjoy your company "_________"
    Me: Sweet dreams
    Her: Sleep sweet

    I don't call or text her for 2 days

    Friday after work:
    Me: Ey girl
    Her: Hi
    Me: -_- hi? That doesn't sound like the enthusiastic "It's Friday night" _______ I think I know. Please try again.
    Her: I didn't have a good day, that's all you're getting.
    Me: That sucks to hear. Need an ear? I'm here. <-------LAAAAMMMMEEE (Why do I notice these things after the fact!!)
    Me: Omg didn't even mean for that to rhyme, lol!
    Her: Lol no I'm okay. Thanks. I'll talk to you later tho. I'm sorry I'm just not gonna be fun.
    Me: All good, feel better.

    At this point I'm not gonna try to call her back, seems like it's that time of the month, and I made my effort, i think it's her turn. I also realize how lame I sound thru text, I'm not that lame in person, It's just automatic politeness and it's become a habit thru texting. Which I'm starting to realize I hate. It's like complex simplicity..

    Sorry for the long post, just wanted to share my progress with this chick.

    Besides that I went out to some local bars in the area and I realize I have a lot of reading to do before I can solo pick-up. This is a goal of mine, hopefully I don' t need a wing man. It's a relatively small town and I'm new here. I did get a chance however to meet and build some rapport with some bar owners, bartenders, and DJs, (apparently I started my night too early) they got to know me and waived cover, got free beers..this could serve as value for the next outings.

  7. #17
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    What the fuck, you should have sealed the deal..

    You come off as very passive, and inexperienced..Maybe she finds that charming..Until she gets bored. :P


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