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Thread: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

  1. #1
    Cider8 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    Simple question.

    Everything's been going well, Is the last text too mushy, beta male? My intent was to flirt, but I suck at text flirting..

    Night we met, thru a friend
    Me: It's (my name). You get home alright?

    Next Morning
    Her: Good morning. Yes I got home safe. I had a lot of fun meeting you. I hate it when (guy who hooked us up)'s right. Haha. Have a good day.
    Me: Not gonna lie, I had a good time too.

    Later that night
    Me: Hey (girl's name)
    Her: Hi (my name)
    Me: What's up? How was your day?
    Her: Nothing. Blah blah, You?
    Me: I'm good. Blah Blah. I wanna take you out next week. Either this city or that city, come with me. Dinner, bar, good music?
    Her: That sounds delightful.
    Her: Aaaaand my house just lost power.

    Perfect time to call her and be completely comfortable and break more ice, worked great. Flirting and planning for the date.

    Today
    Me: Hey cutie
    Her: Oh hello
    Me: Blah blah, date setup
    Me: Dress nice
    Her: Ohh okay. I'll see what I can find then
    Me: (Location) 7:30.
    Her: That works, Wednesday?
    Me: Wednesday.
    Her: K, I'll text you when I get home Wednesday.
    Me: Looking forward to making you smile and laugh, Have a good rest of the day.

  2. #2
    Cider8 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    She didn't reply so I took it as a negative reaction.

  3. #3
    Achilies's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    Well you did a lot wrong... you seemed like a complete push over, she has the power, you dlv as a whimp..

    A. way too nice
    B. Where is the negging?
    C. Where is the real flirting?

    ALl is not lost if you go on this date with her. DO NOT TEXT her until she msgs you on wednesday (if she does) and then you have to say something like "Hey Loser" or "Hey dork" and start reclaiming dominance from there.

    But i dont think she is going to msg you, so prepare emotionally, hold strong and move on.

  4. #4
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    Quote Originally Posted by Cider8 View Post
    Simple question.

    Everything's been going well, Is the last text too mushy, beta male? My intent was to flirt, but I suck at text flirting..

    Night we met, thru a friend
    Me: It's (my name). You get home alright?

    Next Morning
    Her: Good morning. Yes I got home safe. I had a lot of fun meeting you. I hate it when (guy who hooked us up)'s right. Haha. Have a good day.
    Me: Not gonna lie, I had a good time too.

    Later that night
    Me: Hey (girl's name)
    Her: Hi (my name)
    Me: What's up? How was your day?
    Her: Nothing. Blah blah, You?
    Me: I'm good. Blah Blah. I wanna take you out next week. Either this city or that city, come with me. Dinner, bar, good music?
    Her: That sounds delightful.
    Her: Aaaaand my house just lost power.

    Perfect time to call her and be completely comfortable and break more ice, worked great. Flirting and planning for the date.

    Today
    Me: Hey cutie
    Her: Oh hello
    Me: Blah blah, date setup
    Me: Dress nice
    Her: Ohh okay. I'll see what I can find then
    Me: (Location) 7:30.
    Her: That works, Wednesday?
    Me: Wednesday.
    Her: K, I'll text you when I get home Wednesday.
    Me: Looking forward to making you smile and laugh, Have a good rest of the day.
    Actually, the last text really wasn't too "mushy". That's the kind of stuff that falls into the "sweet" category.... (Which girls really do like) and it was the only one that even attempted to get out of the "Fluff talk", based on what you shared in the post.

    You're on the "flirt fence" now, which is good. You want to see how she reacts, so that you know if she's accepting of it, or if you're gonna have resistance.

    If she responds positively, then that's a signal to keep flirting.

    A lot of guys will back off "just to be on the safe side" as soon as a girl shows interest. And that's what kills the attraction & puts them in the "friend zone".

    So don't be afraid to be fun, silly & flirty!
    I can't stress that enough. (I swear; I probably say that in 95% of my posts! LOL!)

    But really, don't worry too much about the last text you sent. It should be totally fine.

    But if she DOES make a comment that's questionable.... then playfully bust on her with something like, "Oh I see how it is; a guy tries to be respectful & a little bit sweet, & he gets called out. Gee thanks! "

    It's still friendly enough to not be offensive, but it's still a playful jab at her, that should spark more interest.
    (Again... that's only if needed & she doesn't give you a positive reply)

    ;O)


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  5. #5
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    Achilies got it in one, essential parts of creating attraction.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    I don't think it was really "mushy." Being mushy would be saying something like "I woke up and you were the first thing on my mind." I don't see that you did anything really wrong. It just looks like you are playing on the safe side. Great for building comfort in a relationship.

    If you want to spark some attraction then show the more dangerous side. Create some drama and conflict to spark Tension. Give mixed signals to become her Rubix Cube that she needs to solve. Use Cat String Theory and push/pull techniques. All to insure that she is chasing you.

    Again, I don't think you did anything wrong. Just playing it safe. This runs the risk of it becoming stale really fast and she could look for excitement somewhere else. But it's good you have comfort building downpat, just know when to use it. Usually after she is already attracted....which you did since she had a great time with you. Now it seems it's getting alittle stale so throw in some attraction material to spark things up again. It's about calibrating to her.

    P.S. She didn't reply because you clearly ended the conversation. No worries my friend.

  7. #7
    LIL G is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    it sounds TOOO needy and unconfident but again WAY TO NEEDY and i wouldn't say i wanna take you out id say lets go to this place and i wouldn't say cutie just some things to look out for

  8. #8
    Cider8 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    Awesome guys, I like the back and forth between this one: Okay to some, not okay to others so far. All in all I think everyone agrees that I'm playing it too safe, which is a habit I'm working to get out of. I wanna get to the point where I'm not questioning, "Was that too much/too little?"

    BatMan/tmalonetn: For sure, cranking the attraction engine is what I want. I'm very conscious of the stale timer, but don't yet have enough knowledge. I'll need to be more prepared for the date. And I'm glad to hear these positive responses, just to move forward and get over the initial 'no reply' panic. Thanks!

    LILG: Thanks LILG, It stands out now.

    Achilies: Totally man, I will take your advice and NOT contact her till she reaches out to me as stated. Definitely need to go in with more punches packed. My eyes are opening.

    So far so good, I'll keep this one rolling. The date's set up for Wednesday. Hopefully you're wrong Achilies

  9. #9
    Cider8 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    You know, now that I'm on this topic, I'm planning on taking her someplace nice for dinner, $$$ on yelp. She's a chill Jersey girl, with a good job, but not so high maintenance. Is there an opportunity/flaw here I may be missing with the location I'm choosing? I have planned dinner, then a bar w/ live music, then there's a few parks by the bay we could chill alone after. All by each other. All she knows is she's dressing nice. I want to have variety for the night based on the progress.

    Should I take her to a sh*t show, throw her off, lmao.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Sent a stupid/mushy text, now what..

    I guess I don't understand why there are so many guys who don't know the difference between being "Dominant", & "Domineering".

    All this "Rah Rah Rah" cheering about needing to be more "negative" isn't going to work all that well.

    I've seen a lot of guys become D1CKS because they don't realize, they'd have A LOT MORE success (& RAPID success) if they would just learn how to be FUN.

    Playful teasing & bantering is absolutely part of it!
    But learn what a "neg" actually is & when to use it (as well as HOW to use it).

    I've taken plenty of girls away from the "Jerks" who think they're showing dominance.... Because I was showing true confidence & real dominance, by making the girls LAUGH & just have fun!

    Oh yeah, that included showing some "sweet" mixed in with the sour.

    Trust me! If you can find that balance, you'll have to start IGNORING some of the phone calls & text messages you start getting, because you'll have too many girls wanting your attention.

    But don't just take it from me because, that's what I have to do.... try it out for yourself.

    ;o)


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