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Thread: The eternal texter - but she won't ever meet up with me

  1. #1
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default The eternal texter - but she won't ever meet up with me

    So the back story - About a month ago I went to a bar with a friend, and we ended up hanging out with a group of girls. I found out the cutest one grew up a few towns over from me, and we connected on that. We ended up doing some dancing and some making out, and she was really comfortable with a lot of physical contact. I got her number, and the next morning I woke up to a text from her saying she had a great time meeting me.

    I figured this was a done deal, so I got back to her later in the day or the day after, and she suddenly went cold. As part of my flirting technique I use a lot of negs, as well as cocky humor - I'm a student of stand-up comedy, and take inspiration from guys like Louis CK, Jim Norton, and Artie Lange. But what surprised me is that whenever I dropped a neg, she'd hit me back HARD with another. It was getting hard to keep up.

    What also bugged me is that at first she was constantly asking me to meet up, then suddenly she'd change her plans, or have to work late, or she'd be "omgz so tired". If I asked her out, she'd either be out of town or have plans. I chalked it up to her being busy, but it seems like she has zero free time. I tried ignoring her, but once every couple of days she'll send me a text, sometimes outright asking to meet up. But of course once we work on the details of meeting up, she goes cold. Yet she still keeps coming back. It's absolutely frustrating how she shows interest and has no problem texting me, but it's like she's allergic to seeing me in person.

    Today she texted me saying she was sort of near where I live at a doctor's appointment. I began to joke around with her, asking if she'll get a Cinderella band aid when she gets her booster shot, and asking if she can pick me up a lollipop when she's done. A friend of mine works at that place, so I told her I texted him and told him to watch out for her, because she's bad news. This seemed to keep her more interested. I then told her that I'm a doctor in my spare time, and in order to be fully cured she needs to have a follow up consultation with Dr. Lex in a local apothecary (AKA bar). I told her when I was "free for appointments", and she seemed genuinely more enthused than usual. But I can't help but feel that she'll once again have some excuse, yet still keep texting me every few days.

    Have you guys ever encountered someone like this? What did you do? Is she even worth pursuing, or should I just cut her loose? If I do cut her loose, should I tell her, or just block her without her knowing?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: The eternal texter

    I have a couple girls like that in my phone too.
    BUT, I have several more that I hang out with regularly, so it's not a big deal if these couple "hard to pin down" ones keep playing that game.

    I pretty much use it for entertainment & to keep my text game sharp, by experimenting with new replies & initiating texts.

    In other words, I made them MY "text buddies"...until they prove they can be more than that.

    So, I don't let it bother me at all because I pretty much know what to expect. And if by chance someday they actually DO make definite plans & decide to stick to them? Cool! If not? That's cool too.

    You should temporarily "text buddy / friend-zone" her & gain experience with your text game. And in the meantime, get other women in your social circle too.

    You'll find out you don't care all that much because, you don't have to pretend you're a busy/socail guy.... you WILL be.


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  3. #3
    Edgemaster's Avatar
    Edgemaster is offline PUA in Training
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    Exclamation Re: The eternal texter

    IMHO, you are being taken for a ride. She has you in the palm of her hand. Don't play her game. Only text her when she texts you should this continue.
    When playing the game, always live on the edge. You always get rejected by every girl you don't approach.

  4. #4
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: The eternal texter

    i recomend just constantly talking about exiting things you did throughout the week, be sure to talk about other wemon who did these things with you. it should draw her out to want to do cool stuff with you. if it doesn't work cut her off for a while, don't let her run your life if you aren't getting anywhere with her just "sit on her" for a while while dating other wemon. she should come begging to hang out with you if it works

  5. #5
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The eternal texter

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgemaster View Post
    IMHO, you are being taken for a ride. She has you in the palm of her hand. Don't play her game. Only text her when she texts you should this continue.
    Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Is it like some kind of weird power trip for her? So far I've stopped initiating the texting, and if I do talk to her it's only if she texts first.

    I've texted her a bit since making this thread. I'm still "Playing doctor", and I told her that in order to feel better she'll have to set up an appointment with me soon. She then shot back that she doesn't have insurance. I told her I could make a special consideration for her, but it's a limited time offer ending this Saturday. I'm waiting to see how that goes, this playful thing seems to be working better.

  6. #6
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The eternal texter

    Tmalonetn and Meteora, also good pieces of advice. I have a few girls in a rotation I see every once in a while, so it's not like I'm in a complete drought. It's just that the girls in my rotation aren't anything special, while this girl who's the subject of my thread is pretty damn fine. If she was just an average girl I wouldn't go out of my way to figure out new ways to capture her attention.

    Come to think of it, I did have sex twice this weekend. I wonder how I can imply that in a conversation....

  7. #7
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The eternal texter - but she won't ever meet up with me

    So I think I may have finally cracked through to this girl. The doctor role-playing aspect definitely grabbed her attention. The first sign was that as soon as I sent her a text, she'd immediately text me back - Normally she'd wait a little bit. It's a fun, playful thing to do, and I can also throw in some double entendres about "getting an appointment" (date) with her, or "examining" her.

    But again she kind of got cold when I mentioned meeting up. I told her she had till Saturday to get a "free consultation", but of course she's "omgzzzz so busy" and "omgzzz has woooork alllllll day!!!1!1!"

    I'm gonna check some tips on here and see how I can improve my text game. My sense of humor works well in person, but over the phone a lot of the humor is lost due to the lack of body language. I noticed that by taking some risks yesterday I got her to be more responsive to me. And rather than have her follow up a neg with another neg, she began to play along - I felt like I had the upper hand for once.

  8. #8
    metalmulisha is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The eternal texter

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    i recomend just constantly talking about exiting things you did throughout the week, be sure to talk about other wemon who did these things with you. it should draw her out to want to do cool stuff with you. if it doesn't work cut her off for a while, don't let her run your life if you aren't getting anywhere with her just "sit on her" for a while while dating other wemon. she should come begging to hang out with you if it works
    i would like to add to this. you should also play the same game when she schedules a meet up try blowing her off with an excuse. make yourself look like the exciting one,get her to chase you. you practically got her interested so this should work

  9. #9
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The eternal texter - but she won't ever meet up with me

    Alright, this girl is officially pissing me off. I hate having my time wasted. She's initiated contact with me twice since I made this thread, and we're still going back and forth with banter. We never met up, even after talking about it for hours via text last week. When we spoke yesterday, I mentioned I was at the place I had met her at, and she missed a good time.

    Her response was she had a better time - She was tired from work and went home and slept for 10 hours. Good for her. The thing that bugs me, though, is that she acts like she has the most stressful, demanding job of all time. She's a waitress at some run-of-the-mill restaurant. I understand that it can be a sh1tty job, but she's acting like she's got the stress levels of the President. To put it in perspective, one of my best friends is a cop who lives over an hour away. He works days, nights, overnights, and tons of overtime....Yet he still makes the drive to hang out once or twice a week. During academy training he'd still come out after doing 8-10 hours of rigorous, physically demanding training that would break most people. I bet being a server would be a vacation for him.

    From time to time I'll ignore this girl's texts if I don't want to deal with her, but she keeps coming back. I have no idea why this girl would want to be text buddies, then absolutely freak out at the prospect of meeting up - If I'm good enough to talk to via the phone, why am I not good enough to see physically?

    Should I cut her loose? Read her the riot act? Just disappear completely?

  10. #10
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: The eternal texter - but she won't ever meet up with me

    Keep her as a text buddy to keep your game sharp.
    Experiment with different ideas, using her as the guinea pig.

    Also- completely stop asking her to meet up.
    THAT might get her attention to where she actually starts "SERIOUSLY" trying to get you to go out with HER.

    (At which point, it'll be up to you whether or not you feel like making the time.)


    When you do a 180 like that & shut down the interest, girls notice & they "need to" find out why.

    LOL!


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