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Thread: approach anxiety w/ girl i already slept with!!

  1. #11
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: approach anxiety w/ girl i already slept with!!

    This girl does not sound like LTR material so don't treat her like she is.

  2. #12
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: approach anxiety w/ girl i already slept with!!

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    When u ignore u have to wait for her to call back u shouldn't be the one to reinitiate and if she doesn't then forget about her and move on.
    In situations like this u have to be ready to loose her to have a chance at truly winning her.
    I agree to this, but my question I guess is how to handle it when she "calls back" after me ignoring her/or blowing her off the first time. Are we supposed to then respond and act unaffected, ignoring the fact that we ourselves ignored her last text? State something about it "sorry I was busy..". And at what point can we start acting interested in her again?

    For instance:

    Day 1: Her: "Hey how are you??"
    ME: No response

    Day 2 (or next time she contacts, possibly even later same day"
    HER: "Hello?" (or whatever she says.)
    ME: (WHAT TO SAY HERE...? With the Mindset being I am gaming to re-engage her)

    OR--- if she dosn't say anything back for a couple days after her initial text and my no response, when would it be appropriate for me to re-break the ice with a contact (if at all)?

    Last time I did this (waited like 5 hours to text back), I got back "Are you not interested now?" And I responded like a wuss "I am, but I'm not sure about you sometimes with your no response" followed by "I know I'm sorry I'm bad at that some time", and then me "come over tonight". (didn't happen). So this approach didn't work to my favor. She didn't get turned off, but it didn't go anywhere.

    Its this part of text game/interaction with the girl that I'm trying to perfect.

    And whitedragon, I totally agree, I'm not even initiating talking to this girl anymore. This is more for personal development, learning how to handle these situations better in the future with other girls.

  3. #13
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: approach anxiety w/ girl i already slept with!!

    Any thoughts guys, or anyone else?

  4. #14
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: approach anxiety w/ girl i already slept with!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rando9009 View Post
    I agree to this, but my question I guess is how to handle it when she "calls back" after me ignoring her/or blowing her off the first time. Are we supposed to then respond and act unaffected, ignoring the fact that we ourselves ignored her last text? State something about it "sorry I was busy..". And at what point can we start acting interested in her again?

    For instance:

    Day 1: Her: "Hey how are you??"
    ME: No response

    Day 2 (or next time she contacts, possibly even later same day"
    HER: "Hello?" (or whatever she says.)
    ME: (WHAT TO SAY HERE...? With the Mindset being I am gaming to re-engage her)

    OR--- if she dosn't say anything back for a couple days after her initial text and my no response, when would it be appropriate for me to re-break the ice with a contact (if at all)?

    Last time I did this (waited like 5 hours to text back), I got back "Are you not interested now?" And I responded like a wuss "I am, but I'm not sure about you sometimes with your no response" followed by "I know I'm sorry I'm bad at that some time", and then me "come over tonight". (didn't happen). So this approach didn't work to my favor. She didn't get turned off, but it didn't go anywhere.

    Its this part of text game/interaction with the girl that I'm trying to perfect.

    And whitedragon, I totally agree, I'm not even initiating talking to this girl anymore. This is more for personal development, learning how to handle these situations better in the future with other girls.
    Ignoring someone is a delicate thing and something I hardly ever need to do. I have always maintained it is the quality of the conversation that trumps everything else so I would focus on being fun, happy and interesting in what you say rather than worrying about how long to wait or playing time games. You get the girl to chase you through being 'a good catch'. Women ultimately will sleep sideways or upwards but rarely down. Same with relationships. They want to marry up or sideways but not down. So the objective becomes being a man who is up. You want to be out of her league so to speak. Ignoring her carries a risk. It can make her insecure and sensitive which can destroy the rapport you have going. Or it can also be seen as 'he is genuinely not interested...so I don't like him either now' or 'he's not writing to me...maybe he's shy, a wuss or doesn't know what he wants?'.

    If a girl initiates with you it is a positive sign in itself and it provides you with a huge opportunity that is missed if you ignore it. If she says 'Hi how are you?' and you ignore it completely she may get sensitive and it can throw the whole thing off the rails. A better way, at least IMO, is to just say 'I'm good. I'm very happy today'. You are not ignoring her but not revealing desperate interest or following up with questions back to her. You use the opportunity to re-inforce you are cool and successful (you are happy). That usually will encourage her to start initiating more questions. 'Why are you so happy?' (mystery, intrigue). You could answer anything here to elevate your status 'I just got a bonus at work', 'Im eating the tastiest peaches, they are delicious' etc etc. Something to keep you being the 'up' and interesting guy. Be something or talk about something she wants. She is not thinking about 'why is he ignoring me?' but instead thinking 'oh he's successful' or 'oh I want to eat a peach too!'. Keep moving it forward, elevating yourself upwards and if she starts bringing up insecure elements in her conversation just listen to what she says, don't be phased by it and move onto to more interesting topics.

    Whether you respond straight away or in 5 hours or in 5 days - well that's up to you but I don't personally play waiting games on purpose. Usually I reply back straight away and I like smart funny girls that are also responsive and text a lot. I don't like girls who hardly write anything or write very sporadically and unresponsively. They are often boring/unresponsive also in real life. If I am slow in texting it is because I am genuinely busy and unable to respond and I know it is the same for the girls I write to.

  5. #15
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    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: approach anxiety w/ girl i already slept with!!

    Day 2 (or next time she contacts, possibly even later same day"
    HER: "Hello?" (or whatever she says.)
    ME: (WHAT TO SAY HERE...? With the Mindset being I am gaming to re-engage her)
    respond normaly with a hey
    OR--- if she dosn't say anything back for a couple days after her initial text and my no response, when would it be appropriate for me to re-break the ice with a contact (if at all)?
    no u do not recontact it is not u're job to break the ice u wait for her to recontact if she doesn't ytf do u care
    Last time I did this (waited like 5 hours to text back), I got back "Are you not interested now?" And I responded like a wuss "I am, but I'm not sure about you sometimes with your no response" followed by "I know I'm sorry I'm bad at that some time", and then me "come over tonight". (didn't happen). So this approach didn't work to my favor. She didn't get turned off, but it didn't go anywhere.
    u said u're self u woosed out. someone's signature on this forum says she'll forgive u for beeing a man bt not for beeing a pussy that is right u should have said 'yeah i am becarful not to do something to loose it :P' (it beeing u're intrest)
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.


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