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Thread: LTR problems

  1. #1
    dave123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default LTR problems

    Hello all. I've been with a girl in a LTR Of 4.5 years. A lot of the game components I can't use on her this late because I never did it before. Recently she has become distant from me- for the past 4.5 years we had this thing where we'd tell each other everything, any time we went somewhere, did something, etc. the past 2 months she stopped doing this. When I ask her why she makes an excuse everytime.

    The thing is, she's smart- if I do the same thing, act distant, she'll call me out on it. She'll know I'm doing it on purpose. But what the hell can I do? I can't tell her "why are u ignoring me" and "why aren't u paying attention to me" because that's AFC. But if I go and start hanging out with girls and stuff shell know I'm doing it on purpose because I never did it before.

    Like today, for example. She's acting different. She texted "hi babe" to me at 10 AM, as usual. I said hi back, and texted another message. She didn't respond until 6 pm, where she said "love u." This is highly unsuual for her, and its been going on like this for a month now. In the past she'd tell me EVERYTHING about her day.

    I doubt she's cheating. I know you can never tell, but I doubt it simply because it doesn't look like it and she doesn't seem like the type of girl that would do that. She's always calling other girls sluts and making fun of that kind of behavior. But you can never tell.

    Anyway, what the holy heck should I do? How can I call her out on this behavior? I feel as if if I call her out on it she'll blow me off, call me crazy and just go on with life. But I want to bring this up to her. Badly.

    Thanks guys.

  2. #2
    eMtoN is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LTR problems

    It would be helpful if you shared your and her age. Aside from that, after 4 years in a relationship, usually there are two main versions.

    A) You break up with each other and move on with your life or

    B) You step up to the next level, usually an engagement or marriage.

    Why do I suggest you share your and her ages? Well, it depends.

    If you got together in your 20's, then at present you must be 24-25 old - still quite young, not sure for what's to come and do. You may feel like we-are-having-fun-this-way but for her might be different. Or not. It may be a good idea to ask her what she thinks of the future. Arrange a date with her for dinner, take her somewhere that expresses your feelings on her and discuss it over.

    If you got together around 24-26, you should now be around your 30's. Again, you may feel cool with you two being the way you are, but this time for her it should be much different. Her biological clock is ticking - most probably she's wondering whether or not you think of your relationship seriously. She may want to get married, have children, one house, two cars, a dog. Again, it may be a good idea to ask her what she thinks of the future AND the present.

    If you/she are/is older than 35 or younger than 25, then it should be obvious! In both versions (especially the first) she might be starting to realize that, unless you have specific plans for the future, you are not getting anywhere together. So most probably she wants to have more fun with her life, she's got bored of the everyday routine, she's seeking for a change. If she's younger than 25 this must be the case. If she's older than 35, she may be seeking for a last chance to do what's described on the above paragraph or she may have realized that she is just not going to get it and also wants to start having fun again.

    Here's where you comes in!

    If you want to be with her, make changes in your acting around her. Introduce new activities to your mutual life, show her some forgotten aspects of your character and surprise her. Don't just text her "Hi" everyday on 10 a.m. because that's what she expects. The reason most relationships don't work well, is because one of the two is getting bored with the same old same old.

    If you don't want to be with her, the sooner you make it clear, the better it will be for both of you.

    Hope this helps you and others,

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