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Thread: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

  1. #11
    Express27 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    Keep with it man. You seem to be making progress. Any little progress is a positive growth, so take the good out of your interactions and just learned from didn't work out well. Seems to me you need to just take a more confident and assertive approach with these girls. They will be far more willing to hold and engage in a conversation if you are confident than if you are being shy and awkward.

  2. #12
    peel is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    If any of the past few days. Read this. Read day 7.

    Day 7.

    A huge amount of activity. Ive got to stop overanalyzing stuff though. I also have to stop wasting hours and hours of time walking around chickening out but I have definitely seen some improvement since it took less time today. I still need to stop wasting hours of time.
    So.....
    approached one pretty good looking girl. I actually got the opposite reaction anticipated and she looked slightly put off when I said I wasnt trying to hit on her but she covered it up quickly it seemed so it was hard to tell. I said goodbye without asking for any contact info or intentions of adding her on FB later since I find it's useless if we dont form a personality-connection even if she's really good looking. (tell me if Im wrong or you would like to add on to this point?)

    I have also been approaching dudes too to make friends. I approached what seemed like a chode eating alone and he turned out to be a huge bar/party person. He had this slightly aloof/amused/inner confidence attitude the entire time. At first he kept with that attitude and did not respond with much. But I kept going at it and I broke the shell. He seemed to really be a partier and had this inner confidence. But he was also giving off the vibe that he just went with the flow. Like he obviously has no self esteem issues but I feel he's more of the guy to wait for things to fall into place for them and cant cold approach. He had a steel-tight inner confidence that Im almost sure came from experience with girls. But I assume the outlet with which he got there was laid out for him. He turned out to be nice and said it was nice meeting me.

    Things were going decent.

    Boom. Acapella auditions. I am not that good a singer.
    My first problems came when I talked to my random roommate about auditioning and when I left, because of the words I used and the phrasing, I felt like I acted super cocky and arrogant about the whole thing to him when I didnt intend to and I thought about that the whole time. I ended up convincing myself he doesnt really give two sh1ts but it took a while and I even considered texting him an apology about my accidental arrogance or explaining it later to him.

    Next, at the auditions for one group, they were pretty much negging me hard. They were purposely messing with me and getting offended at everything and stuff. Looking back it was to see how I would respond and see if I fit in with their personalities. Like after they made me tell a joke, they would get offended about me being racist and so on and so on. I performed horribly as I had even lower self confidence auditioning and I stuttered and just got lower and lower in confidence and personal frame as they kept messing with me. After that, they made me do this vocal exercise which I fcked up completely since I didnt know how to do it and some of them started slightly shaking their heads and facepalming themselves but they stopped when they saw I noticed. I spent the next hour and more feeling like they thought I was so horribly bad and I felt ashamed that I had sung so horribly I embarrassed myself. I tried googling songs about not caring what others think for a while but it only helped slightly.

    The other auditions went decent.

    I come to realize that some people dont give a sh1t so I dont have to be so afraid of everyone's judgement but it's hard. like this time.

    Lastly, two things. I saw a beautiful girl but her face was pretty arrogant and she hang around this black girl a lot and moved around a lot after signing up for auditions. I felt like she may have moved away from me with her friend when she possibly caught me checking her out. And sometimes I saw a face on her like 'dont bother approaching me' so yeah...

    Finally, the top acapella group I auditioned for apparently placed top 15 in the nation and was apparently much better than the others. I saw them perform but chose not to wait the long line to audition. One of the girls in the group lived on my floor last year. I barely saw her around but she seemed to revolve around this group for her entire time at school. It's a shame I never really introduced myself or anything to her. Anyones thoughts on the following appreciated: I would make excuses like: oh, Ive already tried introducing myself and putting myself out there for a couple girls on our floor and the last time she was a total arrogant prick who kept to herself. Another excuse was it was too late to introduce myself, it was already too late in the year (a stupid illogical one looking back... seemed logical then though). Another excuse was just that it would be weird or seem like I am another sleaze hitting on her.
    The reason with this huge dilemma is that she seemed a lot sweeter and did give what I thought was a big ioi last year. I was studying and asked if she could watch my stuff and she said 'Yes' and then a second later while I was about to leave the room 'because Im strong' and then she did the bicep flex. I think she was trying to make me laugh or something but I was just like 'haha yeah.......' and then I never talked to her again. Honestly, I dont even know anymore. I think if I could redo it again I would have at least introduced myself as early as possible and gotten to know her if I bumped into her. Thoughts?

    Im thinking it's a bit of a scarcity problem. If I had abundance, I would probably have approached AND not cared so much about that girl

  3. #13
    peel is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    Day 8 - Library approach - good report
    Chickened out a ton. I got rejected and slightly embarrassed for the acapella auditions which put me in a bad vibe. Ended up maning up like crazy and approaching this beautiful girl who was at the library studying. I tried to communicate by writing into a journal but she responded out loud for everything. FCK I didnt want everyone knowing but theres no stopping that. I continued on and honestly I had waited over an hour for her to leave so I could approach her outside and talk to her but she didnt and I even waited after she took this huge dump (spent like 20 minutes in the bathroom it seems) and then I was like fck it I'll approach. It was a huge accomplishment because it took pretty much an hour+ of me working up the courage and its something I wouldnt have done before. Unfortunately, I was rejected. She said 'I dont give out numbers.'
    I tried not to overthink it as I walked back to my dorm. But I was trying to figure out all the reasons it could be. It was probably more than one. I most definitely came off nervous and I kept responding by writing in my journals and the wait time was a little awkward. My content of the words was a little beta and I asked for her number after maybe 10 lines of text. Honestly I had run out of things to say and it was getting more and more frantic and awkward it seemed. It was so bad since I kept considering the things personality-wise that were amiss but the back of my mind I keep considering all the physical things like looks that she might have rejected me for. Anyhow I dont feel so good about this rejection but Im still kinda proud I had the balls to approach.
    I dont know what to say.... I guess also I maybe should have persisted further when she said she doesnt give out numbers and maybe should have come in more confident but dude I was shaking in my chair for like an hour trying to work up the courage since she wouldnt leave the library. I dont feel good about the rejection at all..

  4. #14
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    You're definitely getting better. You're making approaches, and that's good.It'll get easier in time.

    I think you need to lower your sites a bit. As far as I can tell, you're missing out on a lot of opportunities because you're only going for the prettiest girls. You're just starting out man. Going after an HB9 or 10 at your level is the equivalent of taking a guy that just learned how to shoot a gun and dropping him in a tiger pit with the instructions "kill that". You've got to set your sights a little more realistically. Knock down some rabbits and deer before you go out on safari (I'm liking this analogy). I'll be honest, you're in your head worse than almost anyone I've ever met. You need to get to the point where your reactions are clockwork, where you know just what to say and when to say it. You're never going to get that when you're freaking yourself out. I know, it's important to have standards and I'm not suggesting you go out and sleep with a bunch of fatties (unless that's your thing; no judgement, big women need love too). But there's no shame in flirting with them, or better yet some average looking girls or girls that are "kinda cute". Be the guy that flirts with everyone, regardless of age, looks, or position. Just be a flirty guy. It'll help your game immensely.

    I am seriously about to come over there and rip up every book on body language you've ever read. Not cause they're bad, but they're killing you man. You're reading so much into everyone and everything that it's practically handing you excuses not to approach. Stop that. Just tell yourself the following phrase "Girls like to talk. Girls like to flirt. Girls like attention. Girls like attention from men. I am a man who can give her that. She wants me to approach. I'm going to make her day." Say that to yourself, pull on your big boy pants and make her day.

    Start working on your inner game immediately. You've got to get that sorted before you do anything else. Talk to Virgil or rs5096 and read they're stuff, those guys are masters at inner game.

    Good luck Peel. You're improving. I'm proud of you.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  5. #15
    peel is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    Thanks dude.
    Yes, I'll try to work on everything you said.
    I have high standards and thats just how I am. I will however try and talk more people now. I did find that sometimes I will undershoot and the ugly girl turns out to be very rude and cold. Hmmm, its worth working on still I guses

  6. #16
    peel is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    Day 9

    Im skipping days where I did nothing. This is technically like Day 12 since Ive just chilled at home a couple of days.
    Went to a Frat Party. This was actually the night after I got rejected of a phone number at a library. I kept telling myself 'Im just there to chill and meet people. Im not going to use any game. I am done after my rejection earlier.'
    Looking back, I think I was saying it just so I wouldnt freak out with nervousness.
    We got there and there were lots of girls sitting on the couch almost waiting for us to talk to them. I just acted chill and walked past them to grab drinks in another oom.
    The night pretty much went like this: lots of sets talking. Many of the males kept in their own sets to talk. A couple were social and mingled with girls to talk. One guy seemed to have natural game and was friendly to all the girls and had a lot of good conversations. I mainly just drifted around and tried to chill it out. But I found like this scenario is almost forcing you to game. Everyone is almost asking for you to hit on the girls there.
    I tried saying 'OK , I already got rejected earlier today. So Im just gonna be cool and stuff' and I ended up being a wallflower and just trying to ease into a group of guy's conversations from time to time.
    I literally only say a few things: guys talking to guys. Or a couple guys employing some natural game and talking to girls. There was no in-between of a guy just trying to be friendly and meet people with nothing non-sexual. It was either be a chode or have some level of attraction going on.
    I thought it was fking retarded and realized that everyone here had some stigma of 'guys hitting on girls' going on in their heads and no one was here to platatonically meet people like I had thought.
    So there I was just sitting there and I see one select guy employing some major game and flirting with girls. He really was showing levels of interest and attraction and playfulness and there was no inbetweens at this party. The chodes talked together but wanted to talk to girls secretly and the non-chodes were hitting on girls hard. I was the only guy who was failing at trying to just be platatonic friends with everyone there and talk to whoever talked to me. I guess because deep-down I wanted to hit on some girls too but I was chickening out.

    I also realized the girls seemed to want to be hit on. I was like fark it, I'll employ partial game just to make a friend and not stand around all alone. I talked to one girl like a completely neutral friend and she just seemed bored and seemed like she thought I was a typical 'nice guy' chode. It seems she thought I was hitting on her but failing. After a good 5-10 minutes the conversation died hard and I was like OK Im out and moved on to another area.

    I did see a lot of girls hanging around or moving about like they wanted me or someone else to approach (since most of the dudes were chodes too) which I thought was retarded since I wasn't there to hit on girls. From my perspective, it looked like they were being too shy to approach me. But deep down, I guess I shouldve just opened them.

    I played some beer pong and I was vs. this cute chick. It was whatever. She wasnt a 9 or 10 but was the best looking of the night. Again, I saw a bit of the waiting to be approached, slight vibe she wanted to be hit on a bit, etc. I had convinced myself then that I was just there to be a neutral dude who would interact with whoever talked to me and not have any flirtatious things going on that night. So I just did my own thing and didn't approach.

    After the night was over, I regretted it a tiny bit and it all seemed retarded since a lot of the chicks seemed to be dying to be opened. I didnt go there with that goal in mind to open chicks and hit on them plus none were that super hot there so it wasn't a huge letdown for me.

    Finally, in the middle of the party, one of the girls mentioned very loudly how the guys were all so awkward when I was standing like 4 feet away. My initial reaction was to go up and be like 'hey dudes, Im not here to hit on girls so stfu' but yeah I just walked away.

  7. #17
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    the main reason girls go to these party's is to meet guys,thats why it seemed that they wanted to approach, i have seen many disapointed looks on girls faces when i went to approach and chickened out last minute, the girls want to be hit on because it validates them, it makes them feel hot and bothered when guys hit on them, even if they just shoot them down. they have come to expect to be hit on by cool,interesting guys at parties. you should have run some gameon them, and met a few guys to hang out with. also you should have hung around a few of the "naturals" so you could mirror some of their subtlties to improve your game. every situation provides oportunities to meet people. even if they don't meet your "standards" you should talk to them anyways, every person you meet will have something to offer even if its just a few good laughs. not to mention that meeting ugs has the benifit that you can "pawn" them to meet their better looking friends.

  8. #18
    peel is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    So just an update on the last few dates. Its been mainly hours of walking around. Then culminating with a few minutes total of interaction. Honestly, I cant seem to approach ugly girls unless I go for the 'just friends' vibe which I just cant think of a nonweird opener for so that means I ignore most of the people walking by. And also, I feel I am unworthy for the few hot girls that walk by despite the fact that they are the only ones I find attractive and want to approach (it's like a contradictory hell) Long story short: I spend hours wasting my time walking around. I've been hinted at multiple times to join clubs to meet people from various sources but Ive tried that and it's 2 things: lack of hot girls, lack of major interest.
    Ive blown off a few fraternity invites and clubs because of lack of time and just not feeling like this would be what I was after. Almost all of them didnt really seem to fit me whether it was because the people didnt fit with me or there were only ugly girls there.
    Yet here I am walking around everyday telling myself 'I know youre wasting lots of time but dude Ive never felt this frustrated ever. This is no longer a choice. It's a priority.' Yet throughout the process I find it a huge waste of time. Honestly if I could just go in and immediately approach a few girls immediately- Id save myself several hours of day of walking around choding out.
    This also got me thinking about the asian frat I semi-rushed. The white ones didnt seem welcoming and the only news I ever got on them was from public events where they advertised. The asian one was nicer but at the parties and socials, everyone pretty much stayed in their own sets and when I opened many, they all quickly dispersed from the set. Apparently, Im not 'cool' enough or sociable enough which I think is retarded. You should be nice to people even if they dont have huge game. I felt like I couldve still gotten in based on my academic part but I chose to not attend any more of the rush events because of that and because of lack of time knowing its a social frat mainly (despite the fact I waste hours a day... paradox I know)

    Also, they did like a slideshow and theyve been around for like a decade or more and the successful or famous people they cited were some random guy from a game show and a guy who won another game show. I thought to myself that this frat doesnt seem to breed success or anything and if I somehow get it my own way, theyre gonna show it off like it was their doing.

  9. #19
    peel is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    I often find myself getting jealous when I see pretty good looking girls talking so enthusiastically to guys and stuff and hugging them. It just seems for the most part that these people met naturally some place like in class or a friend of a friend. Those systems just dont work for me... I just dont have that outgoing of a personality to be that likeable I guess. Plus, my classes are pretty closed off since its a high level

  10. #20
    peel is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: College day 2 and beyond report - MOST EMBARRASSING STORY/APPROACH EVER

    All I got to say is ....
    I often mention that Im trying to make friends because of my lack of friends to ease any awkwardness or tensions at the introduction of my cold approaches. I know its a dlv at times but its honest and eases the Tension and some girls aren't as cold when they hear about it.
    But yeah none of these translate to much except them being nicer to me and almost all of them suggest me joining clubs. Ive joined clubs but theyre boring as crap and have no hot girls and its a time commitment..... but it feels like this may be a problem if people keep suggesting clubs and I keep saying Ill try it out.
    I definitely havent tried out all the clubs so maybe thats where Ill be headed


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