I feel day 2 needs a brand new thread and dont worry. All other days will be in this one but I think this is taking up too much time so I will refrain from being too extensive unless I need to vent it out or upon request then Ill think about it.
READ MY DAY 1 THREAD FIRST IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS A LITTLE BETTER
Today was quite different from day 1 in a LOT of ways. I spent 2 hours in the morning walking around but not doing anything. I still feel any type of approach made in the day here on college campuses are gonna be weird especially when theres so many people around watching.. Anyhow, I eat lunch go to class. Afternoon - 2 to 3 hours more of walking around and chickening out. The main reason is I feel theres no way I can do it without being weird. I tried using the stuff I did in day 1 but it did not work because they only seem to work for me when no one else is around to notice or hear. Otherwise I feel weird and embarrassed using them. In fact, today, I spent almost 20 minutes waiting for each of a few girls because I hoped I could talk to them when alone but that time never came or I felt she had already acknowledged my presence.
I am pretty much in a bit of a screwed up mindstate now after 4 + hours of walking around and chickening out. I pretty much spent 4+ hours today walking around campus wasting time. I refused to think of it that way so I say this was at least a learning experience.
Heres the embarrasing part
I chose a girl. I waited until she was alone so my approach wouldnt be judged by others. I couldnt get myself to do it because any way I went about it was weird. Fck. She had seen me so right now Im in the hovering period... I have to act fast. I decide to quit and walk away. Just then she asks me where this building is. She sounds in a huge rush. I tell her and leave. I don't think transitioning in any way would work. I walk about 5 feet away then walk back and say in a stuttered mumbling voice 'Wait, my friend has always made fun of me for not ever having a girls number. Can I just get your numbe-?' She cuts me off with a pretty much matter -of -fact but hurried tone 'I would but I am late for class' I say OK quickly and walk off extremely embarrasssed. I felt like a retard for saying something so beta. Plus I lied to her about a situation. None of my friends ever said that. My mindstate after 4 hours of chickening out had fcked me over because I began the day with the goal of getting one girl's number and I had warped the goal into get a number from a girl even if it's fake or she will never ever talk to you or even if you have to skip any conversation or friend making.
It was beta and stupid and I felt embarrassed.
I promised myself that I always had to end the day on a good note and I cant end it on a rejection if that ever happens. I spent a half hour pretty much sitting there realizing how stupid I was and scared everyone in the world will find out once she tells her friends and I'll be made fun of as that loser who said something so ridiculous.
I tell myself it's a learning experience dont look at anything as a complete failure. I chide myself briefly for ever saying something so beta and tell myself to never lie to a girl again.
I continue. I see one girl sitting down but I break the 3 second rule by 5 minutes and then 10 and then 15 since there's a ridiculous amount of people walking past her constantly AND I can't think of any good nonweird openers that wont make me come off weird. Plus Im not sure if shes a teacher or student.
She ends up leaving. I am blaming myself a lot but heres the good part:
I break through and talk to a girl. She was not like an HB10 by any means more so like a girl who I wont be intimidated by her looks (though she was definitely not an UG) I honestly hate the fact I wasted 5 precious hours today yet again. This has been going on for a full year now at the very least (hours of wandering and chickening out per day).
The opener was clean and decent since I managed to catch her in a place where no one's really gonna judge me or overhear. It was pretty cool since I talked to her about her clubs and stuff and I talked about mine and we just walked back to the dorms. There were big pauses in the convo again but there were shorter than my previous experiences and I was given advice that its OK to have silence sometimes. When we parted, I was going to ask for her number but in that split second I sensed she thought I was boring or something (by the pauses in the conversation) and some other random stuff like I thought maybe she would say no or she lied she had to part just to end the conversation. So I just said bye and left. Looking back, I think it was in my head and she probably could have given me her number and if not, at least I tried right? I honestly just wanted a friend that was a girl and that was The Vibe I was hoping to give off and I could have explained that to her if she was hesitant about giving me her number but I was too slow. Next time, if there is a next time, Ill ask for a number
So that concludes today. I decided not to try anymore since I was tired. Advice appreciated