I need some advice on an aspect of getting lays.
I'm having some problems with an aspect of going out and getting lays. Sorry for any mistakes in the text, but english is not my native language.
You see, I'm what you could considered a quite attractive man, I take good care of my body and I dress quite nice, so, when I go out, I often get approached by horny girls looking for some action, normally drunk.
And this totally blocks me, I'm quite good at daytime dating, and although I don't flow particularly well at night, I can approach and go for numbers/emails without much trouble. But when a girl approaches me unless I'm drunk (which is not usually the case), it caughts me totally unprepared and I always blow it, specially due my inability to flow in conversations at night, a totally different level of the energy than the girls approaching me, also, when I'm talking to a girl, instead of showing signs of nervousness I look like I'm super serious, cool and collected, which serves me well on one on one dating, but doesnt work for me on this situation, since the girls things that I'm totally not interested in her and sometimes they even get mad about it. Eventually they leave due this, and I dont get anything from the night.
I have read some stuff about Negging, boasting and being playful, I have tried and girls usually end up mad at me for being arrogant, a snob or a ladies man in the best case scenario,although this stuff works better in some of my friends who are less physically attractive, but that doesn't seem to work with me.
In daytime PU and 1 on 1 dating, which is the field in which I perform better, I usually do the whole cool and mysterious thing, trying to look as humble as posible while a talk about me when she asks me (I also have a rich live in this matter, so I have an easy time showing high value without routines), keeping my distant, not being needy, and simply enjoy myself without no worries about the girl liking me or not, and I do great in this situations, with the only problem of getting the girl sometimes too attracted to fast that ends with her wanting to take the relationship too far too fast, and an ugly breakup.
But when I'm out on nights, a girl approaches me, I manage to start the conversation a bit, and in a few seconds she is already kinoing heavily on me, some even starth touching my crotch in the middle of the street, that skill set is mostly worthless.
Should I start the make up despite knowning the girl for only 30 secs in some cases and being on a totally different energy level?
How could I become better at flowing at night?
Also, do you think the girls I cross while walking on the street that start shouting compliments when my back is turned are approachable? How would you do it?
Being cocky and funny really doesnt work with me, although I enjoy doing it, seems that doing even a little bit of dhv already makes me look like a boaster, since in night enviroment I already have a high level of value due my looks, clothing, and other girls constantly trying to lock eye contact with me . And seeing how other guys that have such a lame game and looks get more lays than me at night is very infuariating. I should also mention, that where I live, a small town in spain, there are no rest zones in clubs, pubs are already closed when this happens, and the only thing left is the street, so the chances of doing a bit of connection are almost nonexistant, and pick up arround here at night only revoles about attraction and seduction, with no middle phase whatsoever, due the external factors already mentioned. Going directly for the make up in so little time, without any real connection, its kinda unappealing to me.
Can anyone give some direction to an attractive but socially inept man? I would really like being able to have lighter and less taxing contact with women.
Most of my lays come from real relationships that I make through one on one dating, which has some advantages, since you gain a more deep understanding of the woman you are doing, and since the girl gets super attached to me I enjoy all the attention greatly, but it can be very taxing emotionally and mentally to have to endure all this process each time I want to have sex, and in the end, totally dishonest and hurtful to the woman targeted. And since I live in a small town, when one of this relationships go down,and the woman usually starts to tell her girl friends that I'm a player and a liar, the potential target pool for me is strongly reduced. So I would like to be able to keep things a bit lighter.