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  1. #1
    coolbreeze is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Please critique and let me know if this is the right next step

    So this HB who Ive been hanging out with texted me asking to help her with some car troubles and I ran the robbery opener to keep the convo going in a different direction. Let me know what yall think and if Im making the right call.

    Her: hey! can you read the oil level on my car??
    Her: also, Im watching Zac Brown Band perform live right now... dont be jealous
    ME: Yea. But youre watching zbb on cma's... sorry im not jealous
    Her: Dont believe ya
    ME: Lol no im doing something much better
    Her: Let me guess... Drinking beer?
    Me: No Im planning to steal some art, you want to join me (this girl is obsessed with white collar)
    Her: Ahhhh Ive been on a white collar obsession! just started getting through season 4!!!
    Me: Lol I havent watched it since you came over. But you in or out?
    Her: Im confused? lol
    Me: Are we going to steal some art or not?
    Her: Im not a criminal!
    Me: But you can be my mozzie
    Her: hahaha Id be down, mozzie is the best!
    Me: Haha you might have to dress up and distract the cops
    Her: I think I can handle that
    Me: Where were you when the cops showed last year??? (I lived in the rugby house last year and we got busted a lot by cops)
    Her: Haha probs blacked out
    Me: Well youre going to have to make it up to me
    Her: Huh?
    Me: We're doing a coed beer pong tournament next thursday and we need you to distract the cops if they show
    Her: Haha oh thanks

    I want to ask her to go do the tournament with me but she's flaked in the past. Right now Im thinking that i should wait until tomorrow and tell her that the person I asked cant go anymore and I need a new partner. How long should I keep her waiting until I ask? Also she always makes fun of me for liking one of my team mates more than her (this guy is my best friend and she always says we're the cutest bromance). Should I be funny and tell her that he flaked or try to build a little jealousy? I was thinking about making her believe that I was going with another hb, but at the same time saying my friend backed out is more playful and im afraid that if she thinks another girl flaked on me is showing a lot of dlv. Any criticism and suggestions are greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Please critique and let me know if this is the right next step

    My first question is what is it that you want? LTR? Booty call? FWB?

    At the very least I'm assuming you want to sleep with her. So imagine you two doing the deed and work backwards. How did you get there? Have your intention in mind first then you will have a clearer head about how to go about it.

    I think you should Qualify her. I preach it in almost every response just about lol. She is interested, but doubt you have shown open interest in her.

    Also knowing a bit more history between you two would help.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    coolbreeze is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please critique and let me know if this is the right next step

    To be honest BatMan I want a LTR with this girl. We have a complicated past where we've slept with each other already over the summer and were really close. But I kind of have a reputation on campus that makes it seem like I wont spend time with a girl unless im sleeping with them. When we got back to campus it came back to cause her trouble. Its ironic because she told me that the reason she was attracted to me was that I was the "bad boy" who she wasnt supposed to hook up with. I tried qualifying her and showing that I wasnt just trying to use her for sex, but she would flake whenever we made plans. I didnt want to telegraph interest because she would flake on me to hang out with her ex boyfriend and I didnt want to look like an AFC pining for a girl who wasnt interested. But that was three weeks ago when she was still mad at me for all the trouble she went through. She isnt mad anymore and she even asks me if "we're cool" like she did something wrong...

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Please critique and let me know if this is the right next step

    Hmmm this is a tricky situation. How exactly did you qualify her? Convincing her you aren't using her for sex and telling her she fits your ideal woman are two different things.

    Also if you have already slept together and she's flaking then I feel you are not allowed to be cool with that bad behavior anymore. She has to know she has an affect on you if you want her to feel special. Part of that is actually being upset when she flakes. Now I don't mean have a spazoid episode. Just tell her that you don't associate yourself with people who do that. Almost dehumanize the situation to convey that you have essentially cut the cord. Regardless you are allowed to show her you are upset. If you act cool about everything then you are only teaching her that you ARE COOL with everything therefore she will walk all over you.

    Showing her she upsets you creates rapport which may be the missing element. Rapport is simply a sympathetic relationship. This is what makes people break up and make up constantly. Along with fear of loss, which I feel you should also give her. If she gets the feeling like she lost you she will make more of an effort....that is...if she still wants you. Hope this helps.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    coolbreeze is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please critique and let me know if this is the right next step

    batman thanks for the advise.
    Quick update though:
    I ended up asking her and we went and had a great time together. I think that qualification and rapport were the main things that were missing. I noticed this when she got upset at me that night and called me out because she thinks I never open up to her. We have a lot of mutual friends and my main problem was that she would always ask them how I felt about her. I never really talked about her and so they just told her that I wasnt interested and thats what she thinks. I was kind of pissed that she didnt ask me but I guess its my fault cause I never brought it up. I asked her two days ago to hang out but she hasnt responded. Im going to freeze her out for a couple days and then try to send her a text like "we need to talk". We'll talk, she'll probably ask if im mad about her not responding and I'll tell her that I was and how I actually feel about her. If all goes to sh1t, well, not a big deal. Id rather go out guns blazing on my own terms.


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