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  1. #1
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default what to do when she stops responding...online?

    Whats the best thing to do when you've been having some great banter back and forth online with a girl (pre Number Close), and then she suddenly stops responding?

    I know alpha thing to do says drop it.... on to the next one. But is it ever appropriate to send some sort of follow up message? Like a "hey, I'm talking to you! " or something else?

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to do when she stops responding...online?

    Don't say 'hey I'm talking to you!' as it makes you look desperate and also aggressive. Either send her something really funny she has to respond to or hook her back in with a compliment/something positively charged. It is not AFC to compliment or be enthusiastic. Some examples: funny, intriguing 'hey, there are vampires at my house! will you help me come and fend them off??' it's a canned line but it has worked for me before. Take a picture of some wild flowers you see somewhere and send it to her (if you can). Or ask her number 'hey I'm going away on an adventure trip and won't have computer/Internet access - can I have your number? We can chat via text/IM'. Compliment 'hey cutey, how are you? Hope you're having a great day!! ' it's not over the top interesting/complimentary but is risk free and many girls will usually respond to such a simple warm enthusiastic message. You could try a fashion opinion line too if she knows what you look like 'I'm off shopping for new jeans - I don't wear really baggy jeans so Im thinking I should buy myself a pair, especially as I just got a bonus at work, do you think they could suit me?'. You could also try dhv yourself in a similar way 'we just won the project at work - i was lead manager - we are going out to celebrate this friday, be great if you join us, why dont you come along or i could meet you after dinner?'. Or directly open with an irrestible offer that even if she doesnt respond she will at least remember your potential 'i found this awesome moroccan cafe/bar, the ambience is plush with patterned rugs, pillows and lanterns... and the food is healthy and looks exciting, im going to try it out - why don't you join me, it will be fun!'. Your going to be doing all these exciting things and you are not afraid to say so in your message so she either has to take the bait or reject it but will have to concede its value and that if its not her its going to be another lucky girl. If a girl doesn't respond to any of those, then move onto to other girls.

  3. #3
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to do when she stops responding...online?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rando9009 View Post
    Whats the best thing to do when you've been having some great banter back and forth online with a girl (pre Number Close), and then she suddenly stops responding?

    I know alpha thing to do says drop it.... on to the next one. But is it ever appropriate to send some sort of follow up message? Like a "hey, I'm talking to you! " or something else?
    Just say "Oh, I guess you've been disfigured in a horrible car crash and your afraid that I won't want you anymore. It's cool, we can put a bag over your head"
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  4. #4
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to do when she stops responding...online?

    Guys, here's the last couple messages of a conversation I've been having with this girl. Basically I was asking her in the message before if she has any other photos I could see. Then it continued to this..

    Her:
    9/18/2012 9:27:38 PM

    Thank you ... Aruba sooo nice and clean ...i hate this cold weather this is like winter in pa , I wanna go somewhere after today, I uploaded a pic if u look i don't wanna keep it on very long too many creeps

    Me:
    9/19/2012 2:28:22 PM

    You're welcome. Ya there are alot of creepy girls on here as well. But I'm sure more guys lol. Sometimes people message me multiple times in a row even though I never respond to them. Its like take a hint!

    Hmm never saw the pic that you uploaded, now it looks like you have no pics at all, what happened there lol? Tryin to tease huh, cuz now I'm curious. Not cool . You know that you can send a private pic with your message, even if you don't want others to see it. You just upload it, make sure its set to "private" in the picture upload page, and then when you message you just click the check box next to the picture and send it. Just figured that out actually..

    Re-post or send it! ttyl

    Her
    9/19/2012 10:37:35 PM

    Not on my phone it won't allow me too :/ do u have email ? I delete my pic to stop all the emails coming through

    Me
    9/20/2012 1:06:01 PM

    Ah ok didn't know you were on your phone. Must be a good pic huh? Instantly bombarded with emails the minute its up..ha. Yep, my email is xxxxxx


    Anyone have any insight on how to proceed here??? (Just wait, another creative message?) She has not sent me the email yet with the photo. I feel like I may have weird-ed her out talking so much about seeing another photo, but I could hardly see her in the first one! Also any comments on the convo appreciated!

  5. #5
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to do when she stops responding...online?

    Anyone? Still havnt said anything else to this girl or heard from her.

  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to do when she stops responding...online?

    Ask her out. You have asked for a photo...ask about her or try meet up. She's probably writing to lots of guys so you have to sift through and ultimately concentrate on women that genuinely want to meet.

  7. #7
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to do when she stops responding...online?

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Ask her out. You have asked for a photo...ask about her or try meet up. She's probably writing to lots of guys so you have to sift through and ultimately concentrate on women that genuinely want to meet.
    Right, but she never actually sent the photo yet. And i dont want to ask her out until im sure shes not a fatty. Lol

    Would it be ok to send her another msg saying "or you can text it to me, dosnt seem like your to quick on the email my number is –----"

    Ive had luck in the past just dropping a girl my phone number and her texting me back then. Kind of is comfort building and bold imo.

  8. #8
    Siedways is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: what to do when she stops responding...online?

    say something along lines "(Name)! You dončt call, you never write and the kids are worried sick!!

    credit: siedways

  9. #9
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to do when she stops responding...online?

    Do you have her email? If so one option is to send her some pictures of you which subtley could add value to your advertising if you are handsome or doing something interesting and encourages to send a pic.

    But here's the basic deal with most beautiful women - they love putting up photos and usually will not take a photo down because 'there are too many creeps'. If there are too many creeps they will either not bother with online dating, de-activate their account or simply not respond to the majority of people. But if they really are beautiful and serious about meeting some new decent guys (not everyone is a creep) they will keep it up. So you have no gaurantee she is pretty at all and should not waste any more effort until she proves so. I basically do not bother at all with women online who a) don't write back or are unresponsive b) do not send or post photos. Photos are quite simply the most important factor in online dating for most people and its rediculous for her not to send them unless she is ugly, has issue or has started to get close to someone else. If the latter is true hang in there because you also have nmo idea where that might lead and she could come back to you. You have no idea if she has fallen off a cliff, is on vacation, having trouble etc. There are too many unknowns to be wasting time on one specific chick. Its easy to think 'wow this girl is really cool, and she was responding' and you start to get hope up. I dont get any hope going whatsoever until I have met in person. Most of the girls online are plain janes anyway and there are millions of gorgeous girls out there on the street to be had any day of the week.

    Don't force the issue with her. Either ask her out and put her on the spot, send something funny, send something emotionally charged or send something easy going and warm hearted like 'hey hope your smiling! late summer is the best time of the year!'.

    Or if you send your phone number just write 'my number ________' and absolutely nothing more.

  10. #10
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to do when she stops responding...online?

    Ok thanks, good advice guys.

    This chick does have a picture up, but its hard to see because shes holding a fricken parrot up blocking a portion of the pic. From what i can tell she looks pettite and cute, but i want that other photo to confirm lol.


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