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Thread: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

  1. #1
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    Guys,

    Whats the best thing to reply when a girl initiates conversation with you online with a very short message? Just got one from a HOTT girl just saying "hi there :-)"

    Obviously thats an ioi, and i like her as well, but I dont want to botch the next message. Im under the understanding its best to mirror her length message in my reply? I want to seem like a little bit of a challenge, instead of following up with a long message (giving her the power). But i also dont want to lose herattention being boring "hey"...

    Ideas asap would be awesome! Also how long to wait to respond back?

  2. #2
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    Ok, bearing in mind that no-one else has replied... yet, I thought I should venture in and see whether there's anything that I can suggest that would help.

    So she started with hi? That could be one of a few different approaches from her. Firstly, it could be that she's being friendly but doesn't want to give too much away on the first message. Secondly, it could be the same opener copied and pasted to all the guys that she likes and so you would need to stand out if you wanted a chance.

    Does she have a name that you can clearly identify from her username? If so, you could possibly start by saying.... Hey *name*, if she doesn't then make a joke and throw in her username instead of her name and say that you would have used her actual name had you known what it was.

    Once you've done that, you've broken the ice in terms of messaging. You then need to find a hook to keep her chatting. As she's a 9 in your books then I'm thinking that you need to ask her about something in her profile but make a neg out of it.

    If she likes music maybe ask her what music she likes and let her know that you really hope it's not One Direction as you think you would like to get to know her but that would kill all hope

    Something like that.... and by asking her the question and not being too serious about it, by saying something which plays her down and doesn't come over as desperate I'm thinking that is the best approach?

    And the final piece of advice that I, a newbie, would give you would be that yup, she's a 9 but as you well know there's 9s all over the place so worry less about what she thinks of you and more about what you think of her. If she wants to walk on by, there will be other 9s but if you play yourself down, put too much pressure on you then, even if she does reply, you'll be too nervous from that moment on that you will scrutinise everything in future. You are the prize here, she messaged you first so take it from there, don't be too serious, know what she is about and I'm sure you can make it work.

    Sorry if this message is a load of rubbish, read it and discard if you think I'm wrong. I'm here to learn but what I've written would be my advice to you.

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    I would mirror her reply. Never in my life have I had a girl write to me with anything long, funny, interesting, cocky, romantic. Women almost always just say hi or they'd like to get to know you more. Men can learn a lot from them. Assume she has sent the same hi to 100 other men. When you write back keep it short. Simply by responding at all you are accepting her contact. You still have no gaurantee she will write back again. You have a number of things you could do. You can say thanks for the message (as a reward to her) with a mutual smiley face, you could reaffirm your positive traits. 'hey thanks for your message. How has your week been? I see you are a nurse? I have been flat out last two days but we just won a huge project so I'm dancing around the office! Give me your number and we can chat some time'. You could also play it cool like you also have tons of messages 'hi, how are you?'. Short but with a question back. Quick backhand from her serve but your not in a rally yet or up to the net.

    The fact is it is the photo that is most important on dating sites. You don't have to be outrageous straight away because that is a liability. You need to screen down who is genuinely interested in you first before expending energy and time. Her message was boring wasn't it? But is she? What does she look like? What are her virtues? What is on her profile and yours? If your profile is full of interesting and positive virtues and as long as you dont reply chaoticly she will date you. She don't have to be overboard exciting because she's just knocking at your door, so open it with a return hello. Once you get further into conversation you can escalate attraction, rapport humor etc and ask her out. I would avoid talking about hobbies. Reinforce some positive 'traits' about yourself and be confident and happy in your reply. You talk about your favorite music and pets names later after she is already attracted to you or you are out on a date.

  4. #4
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    Thanks guys, I like the ideas. I think I'll keep it short on the next reply.

    Also, how quickly would you reply to messages? In real life i find it best to vary reply times, keep her guessing. Do the same rules apply online? Or the fact that shes getting bombarded by emails... is it best to be prompt with replies?

    And how quick is it ok to ask for numbers? Seems like you're implying its ok as early as the second email?

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    In this situation be prompt in case she has sent out the same message to 100 other guys. Once you have more intel and conversation going you can begin to be more strategic.

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    Default Re: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    I've been the recipient of quite a few of those types of initial emails too.

    My FAVORITE response to them was something like this:
    "Heya, Thanks for the message. I always smile when someone is so chatty right off the bat! Hope your day is filled with awesomeness!"

    It's quick, upbeat & friendly... but with a little playful tease about her message.

    I'd say 8 or 9 times out of Ten, the girls DO reply back & say a LOT more.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    Quote Originally Posted by tmalonetn View Post
    I've been the recipient of quite a few of those types of initial emails too.

    My FAVORITE response to them was something like this:
    "Heya, Thanks for the message. I always smile when someone is so chatty right off the bat! Hope your day is filled with awesomeness!"

    It's quick, upbeat & friendly... but with a little playful tease about her message.

    I'd say 8 or 9 times out of Ten, the girls DO reply back & say a LOT more.
    Hmm interesting. I like that message, might give something similar a try, but dosn't it come accross as a little try hard or overdone? Maybe not idk.

    I was actually thinking of just saying.... "hey cutie" and leaving it at that. Bad idea? I would think since its short, and returns her ioi that it would be a good start?

  8. #8
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    Quote Originally Posted by Rando9009 View Post
    And how quick is it ok to ask for numbers? Seems like you're implying its ok as early as the second email?
    Is it ok for her to write first? For millions of years our ancestors never had email - what was ok for them? She wrote to you first. You are on a dating site. She took initiative. There is no reason why you cannot recipricate. I am not saying you should do it - it was part of a list of suggestion of things you could do.

    However heres the thing for you, or whoever else wants to listen, is this: If you say hi to someone (ie opposite sex) it means, in principle and in this particular context, you are attracted to them and want to sleep with them (even if it is different reasons/dynamics between male and female). If you ask someone for their number it means you are attracted to them and you want to sleep with them. If you ask them on a date it means you are attracted to them but have offered to show them a great time (bird of paradise dance) and form an emotional connection (conversation) and then sleep with them. You are eventually going to get to that point. How fast you get there is partly up to the girl and partly up to how fast you want to drive or what position you want to or can come in the race.

    I ask women out upfront all the time because I want pole position. I do it with complete conviction because there is never anything to loose and I know millions of years of evolution beats apple, microsoft and android.. I only need a few sentances to display my virtues and confidence (eg vocabulary, body language, intelligence, creativity) and hope they like what I look like. Luckily or unluckily people generally are attracted to people like themselves - if not in looks than in principles. They almost always say yes, if they are available women. They dont need to know your life story - they just need to accept you on principle (pre selection).

    Maybe you are thinking 'but I haven't developed enough attraction'. She wrote to you conceding she is already attracted to you. You have a get out of jail card. So you can sit around in jail worrying about what to write trying to escape or you can turn virtual into reality and see who has come to bail you out. Either way keep it short. You still fundamentaly have no idea about this girl...she could be a guy, a fake picture or someone wanting to gather data for marketting something...so why waste your time? Im not saying your next message has to be 'hey lets go out' (re-read my post) Im saying be calm but forward, take it somewhere positive and with low liability - thats exactly what she did.

    Also as a matter of course I never try and factually compliment a girl online before I know her. In other words I dont say 'Hi cutie'. I might say 'I like your photos' or 'hey you have some nice pics'. I dont say beautiful, cute, wow your hot etc because how the hell do I know? It could be her best friend, photoshopped to the max, a camera angle and light that makes her appear more attractive than she is. By writing back you are already signalling you IN PRINCIPLE find her attractive, but because you are a farking legend alpha male you are not going to get excited until you meet in person. If she reslly is hot in person, then you are home free (because she has made such an effort to wear killer makeup, heels and a smoking hot mini skirt) to say 'you look good tonight'.

    Ask her out, I dare you.

  9. #9
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    Haha, good stuff Whitedragon. And don't take anything I'm saying as disagreeing necessarily, kind of putting up opposite perspectives to fine tune things..

    I'll take your dare up... however I just see it as being awkward to go like this:

    HER: Hi there :-)
    ME: Hey. I like your pictures & profile :-) Lets chat via text, I find it easier. Whats you're number? I'm Randy by the way...
    ---or---
    ME: Hey. I know you could be a man or 300lbs lol, but I like what I see so far :-). We should meet for a drink sometime, whats your number? I'm Randy.

    or is this ok? I definatly would rather go to getting the number first before asking her out. Again... back to what you were saying... I don't know if I want to go out with her until I've at least had a text conversation or two and find out what her deal is. lol

  10. #10
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    Default Re: what to reply when hb9 initiates online, short msg "hi :-)"??

    That's actually a great way to ask for a number.

    It's confident, & presented in a non-needy way.

    It kinda gives The Vibe that you're saying, "Hey, it's no big deal, let's just swap digits... after all, that IS why we have phones, right?"

    Personally I dig it!


    *two thumbs up*


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