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Thread: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

  1. #11
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    putting the blame on her like that is risky, unless you are very alpha, telling her that she still likes you will only make her get defensive even if its true as for the cantact thing, thats really up to you, but you do need to talk to her soon if your going with that approach

  2. #12
    CriticalRap is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    So I spoke to her last night, and it actually went better than I expected it to. She admitted that she sees me as something special and I that I mean more yo her than her two friends I mentioned earlier.

    She also admitted to having commitment issues and said that the main reason is lack of time due to her uni course. I told her that we can't just be friends and she sounded suprised when she asked me "you'd rather nots ee me at all?". She again asked for time to think.
    I've seen her today at work and she said she was stressed at uni work, and didnt go into uni today.

    Should I text her? I also have some pictures from the night I took her out for her 21st that I havent uploaded to Facebook, I think uploading them could be a good way to remind her how much fun she has with me without directly contacting her? I think im tipping the scales back my way, but now im at a loss as what to do

    Critical

  3. #13
    Padda is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    Hey

    I having the exact same problem at the moment although my girl went cold on me and i kinda ended. Had a few conversation after that but I'm doing the Freeze Out and no contact at the moment.

    Padda

  4. #14
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    wait a while before you text her, give her time to think, but not enough time to forget. if you upload the photo's it could remind her of that, but it also may look a little needy. just my thoughts
    meteora

  5. #15
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    Hey Dude,

    Your game needs to be tweeked, because what you are doing now is what got you into the friendzone in the first place. You seem determine to have this lady as a girlfriend or what? She is still controlling you, and your actions are based on her responses, and any mosel of validation she gives you that you are not in the friendzone and more than friends you sap it up. You need to see other ladies and let her think about how she messed up and let you go, and doing this will give you more control of the relationship plus she will not see you as needy and you will stay out of the friendzone for good!

  6. #16
    Prodigy84 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    In my experience the "lay it on the line" approach only works in the movies. You're right, you've got nothing to lose. However you've already pretty much implied your intentions, laying it on the line will only rephrase it and seem more desperate. But what you need to do is first become comfortable with the fact that it either is going to or is not going to work, and that if it doesn't, life will go on.

    By laying it on the line you accomplish many things, you come across as an AFC, a guy who spends all his time thinking about her, and most of all you'll make her feel pressure, which will make her run away. Girls don't want to feel forced into a decision, they want it to come naturally. If we use our game to make it seem more natural to them, that works too.

    You've already said enough that she's thought about it. Now you need her to think about it more than you. You've got good communication, be cold, freeze her out, tease her, but mix in some pulls too. Let her bring it up, if she sees you as a fun guy and wonders if you still feel the same way, she probably will. Keep showing her you're hung up on her and she'll feel like you're trying to influence her decision. She wants to be in control of her own decisions, let her think she is.

  7. #17
    CriticalRap is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    Quote Originally Posted by Prodigy84 View Post
    In my experience the "lay it on the line" approach only works in the movies. You're right, you've got nothing to lose. However you've already pretty much implied your intentions, laying it on the line will only rephrase it and seem more desperate. But what you need to do is first become comfortable with the fact that it either is going to or is not going to work, and that if it doesn't, life will go on.

    By laying it on the line you accomplish many things, you come across as an AFC, a guy who spends all his time thinking about her, and most of all you'll make her feel pressure, which will make her run away. Girls don't want to feel forced into a decision, they want it to come naturally. If we use our game to make it seem more natural to them, that works too.

    You've already said enough that she's thought about it. Now you need her to think about it more than you. You've got good communication, be cold, freeze her out, tease her, but mix in some pulls too. Let her bring it up, if she sees you as a fun guy and wonders if you still feel the same way, she probably will. Keep showing her you're hung up on her and she'll feel like you're trying to influence her decision. She wants to be in control of her own decisions, let her think she is.
    Thanks for your reply, I did go through with it and I think I did actually help myself. The problem with Freezing Her Out is that I work with her twice a week, how would you recommend to behave at work? Besides this I have frozen her out and started seeing other girls, although admittedly I am still hung up on her, but I do try not to show.it.

  8. #18
    dutchmarc1976 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    Moving on to dating other women is easy advise. Sure, eventually if it doesn't work out, he'll start dating other women. But CriticalRap wants this girl, that's his goal, let's try to help him with winning her back I say.

    I have about the same problem, posted in another thread (no-one replied to it yet, except from an update by myself).

    I agree fully women that want to make their mind up themselves. Trying to force them into a make-or-break decision will make you loose. Tried it myself in the past, I'm very alpha, don't make my earlier mistake.

    I also agree about the fun guy part: make her feel good with you around. Make her want to spend time with you.

    Now about the friendzone. What I mentioned in my own thread, is that I noticed that when I "take my chances" on kissing, sex, give her bedroom eyes, that suddenly works, but only temporarily.
    And when I talk about "a relationship", all alarmbells go off, and the alarm radar becomes more sensitive on other stuff each time.

    I think I discovered the trick in your case: I haven't read this anywhere that's probably my mistake, but "dating" / the courtship phase can in fact be seen as "the game", but when it evolves into a relationship it is not a game anymore. The game evolves into a situation where trust matters, mutal plans, a life together.

    I think "the friendzone" is a subject you should avoid to talk about no matter what. Let's put it even one step further: the friendzone doesn't exist.

    You talked to her that you don't just want to be friends. Good for you! Because now she's thinking about you not "just" as a friend anymore.

    The friend zone doesn't exist if you don't want it to exist, ignore it, steer away from discussing it, because if you don't it will suck you in. You cannot win a frienzone/relationship discussion.

    Just go out with her, do fun things preferrably the two of you together.
    Invite her over to your house, go to her house together. Get comfortable together on a couch, watch a movie or play a game, put off your shoes, touch her innocently and watch her IOIs. If you feel you can go for the kiss, do it, do not hesitate. Ask for a kiss if the IOIs are piling up while looking at her eyes teasingly.

    If it doesn't work out like this, be kind, and tell her you have other plans, or that you want to sleep early. Be the one to end the date.
    Text her when you're home, thank her for the fun time, make a few jokes, tell her you think she's such a great friend.

    Friendzone her!

    It's all about the "Cat String Theory": if she cannot have you, she wants you. If she can have you, she doesn't want you.

    I fell for the same trap, I fell for it big time. Do not fall for the friendzone trap. You control the friendzone, always remember that.

    Good luck, I think you still have a very good chance!

  9. #19
    Faraday's Avatar
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalRap View Post
    My plan is to use her problems against her. I'm thinking about putting the blame on her, saying it's not that she see's me as a friend but that her worries and insecurities are the real problem reminding her that I know she likes me. I will then point out that I'm not, and have never been her friend.
    Always remember to leave the girl in better shape then in which you found her.


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