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Thread: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

  1. #1
    CriticalRap is offline PUA in Training
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    Exclamation She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    So three months ago I was getting with this girl, then she had to go away for three months going home from Uni for the summer.

    Now she's back and we've had dinner together at her house, and i took her out for a meal for her 21st birthday.

    Later into the evening she tells me she wants to just be friends for a while, nothing serious. I wasn't expecting it and didn't really know what to say. She also said "I see you as a really good friend"

    Later on I brought it back up and stated if she wanted to take it slow like we were before she went away I would be okay with that. She said before she went away that she really like me, I need to make her remember that.

    she said she needed some time to think about it, I walked her to her door, kissed her on the check and let my fingers run through her hands before saying goodbye.

    I managed to recover a little and buy a little bit of time whilst she thinks but I'm circling the drain and I know it.

    I need to stay out of the friend zone and make her see me not as a friend. I do really like this girl, and I really need some help!

  2. #2
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    looks like you got friendzoned bud you should have texted her at least once a week if you wanted her to stay attracted to you while she was away, unfortunately long distance relationships are hard to maintane now she is just trying to let you down easey and your not takin the hint, (i know from experience unfortunately ) she will likely make you into another notch in her validation belt, you shouldn't have shown your interest without first getting ioi's (you might have came off a little needy) i advise you to move on, she will play with your feelings and only hurt you wurse if you don't move on, keep her as a friend and maybe use her as a pawn to meet her friends (you can game them easier than her) sory to be the bearer of bad news
    meteora

  3. #3
    CriticalRap is offline PUA in Training
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    Default re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    ahhh man, I thought as much this is such a bummer man. I'm not sure to just distance myself or to stick near but keep trying?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    i have a girl who is doing the same thing to me right now, i've tried everything, i think she gets some kind of enjoyment out of seeing that i'm trying to get her back (validation) i'm currently tryin to cut loose any feelings i had for her, i know it sucks, but sometimes we just have to give up and move on thats what i'm in the proccess of doing right now, and i recomend you spare yourself the missorie and do the same

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    Ok well assume she met someone in her holidays. Hearing 'I need time to think about it' is not a great sign coupled with 'take it slow' and 'let's be friends'. I think you need to rebuild attraction fast and read her body languange rather than her words. She knows you like her so there is no challenge. 'I need time to think about it' is a gutless way of saying I'm not interested. I would cease all contact and move on. The more you try now the more you might push her away.

  6. #6
    nik's chick is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    The only time a guy was able to un-friendzone himself with me was when he accepted it and started dating someone else. I got so jealous! And I couldn't believe that he didn't even try to change my mind. I started thinking that I had made the wrong decision about him. Women want what they can't have. And shoes. Depends on your delivery though; this other guy did the whole "I don't want to lose you, so if my only option is to be your friend then that's what I'll take" and he suffered the friend-zone fate. I had all the power and I knew it. I also knew that if I ever changed my mind he'd be right there waiting for me, probably with presents. Juss sayin...

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    Quote Originally Posted by nik's chik View Post
    Women want what they can't have. And shoes.
    hahahahahahahahahaha haha (30)

  8. #8
    CriticalRap is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    Thanks for the advice guys, can't believe I blew it

  9. #9
    ItsRaySuper is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    I wouldn't stay away, just use her as a pawn and play the jealousy that ensues. If she sees you with other chicks it should either:

    A: spark jealousy (awesome)
    B: get you out of "good guy" territory so if you ever give her bedroom eyes It will at least be acknowledged as an option

    Hope that made sense. Good luck

  10. #10
    CriticalRap is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She sees me as a friend, need to stay out of Friend Zone

    So I've read all the comments and sought some advice from other places and thought things through.

    Here are some things that I didn't mention before hand that I think effect the situation a large amount

    the girls longest relationship is a week and she's 21 years old.

    She's told me that she really likes me.

    She has only been back a week before deciding to friendzone me and said that she thought about it whilst she was away.

    She's also told me she's indecisive about these types of things, always manages to screw things up and she's worried what might happen if we break up and have to see each other at work.

    This in mind I've made my plan, and i'm going to go through with it, but any improvements you can give me will be greatly appreciated.

    My plan is to use her problems against her. I'm thinking about putting the blame on her, saying it's not that she see's me as a friend but that her worries and insecurities are the real problem reminding her that I know she likes me. I will then point out that I'm not, and have never been her friend. I will then say that I'm not Jon or Tony (her best male friends who she compared me too), remind her of the times that we cuddled together and held hands as i walked her home (whilst touching her shoulder then holding her hand). If she doesn't resist me holding her hand, I'll then move in for the kiss.

    I know this plan is a long shot but nothing ventured nothing gained. I've thought this through a lot and feel it's my best chance.

    The one thing I can't decide is weather I should contact her first, or let her contact me as she asked for time. I'll have to see her at work on wednesday and was thinking of using that as a reason to meet up and clear the air.

    I know I'm going against most peoples advice on here but any improvements you could offer for me would be great.

    And if you haven't guessed, I am suffering from a case of the one syndrome. Thanks, Critical.


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