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Thread: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

  1. #1
    stixcf is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    Hey guys...


    Not to make this too long, I've been seeing this amazing old flame of mine for the last two months. We got back together after we split due to continental separation. The things is that she was dating someone at the time and dumped the guy within a week to be with me and we've been having a great time together and the relationship is truly been better than I could ever imagine.

    Thanks to PUA, I've been keeping all aspects (Attraction, comfort and Seduction) pretty high. The thing that is getting a bit weird now is the Ex BF. I've heard a lot about him from her and her family. They all talk about him with the utmost respect and sound like a really cool guy. Everytime she would bring him up, I would react respectful as well and then change the subject. After his heart got broken, he told her he wanted to stay friends but that he was gonna break off contact completely. That lasted maybe two days.

    Since then he has been texting her a lot, inviting her to lunch and such and every now and then he would confess his feelings for her. I trust my girlfriend as I've known her for two years, she is very very anti-cheating. So this guy is falling apart and is not giving up, I understand his situation completely from his perspective.

    Yesterday I got a text from my GF after the craziest night of sex (... and most experimental so far), she told me that when she got to work he was waiting for her with a coffee, sandwich and a big ass bouquet of Roses. She told me that she felt bad for him still chasing and accepting his gifts. Later that night she got home to her room filled with roses and balloons. This dude is at his end, he is pushing harder and harder and I'm starting to get a little bit uncomfortable with it. I'm slowly loosing respect for him as I think it is getting to a point where it is inappropriate and just farkin creepy. I've always been playing cool about him but I feel that I'm starting to get fed up with his actions.

    My point of view right now ... he is pushing and pushing ... which means he is losing all his power and that eventually she is gonna lose her respect for him. I'm continuing with what I'm doing and playing it cool, basically maintaining my power. I think I am doing this right but can't help but to feel a little uneasy about this.

    So ... any advice will be golden and be highly appreciated.
    Thank you so much guys

  2. #2
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    don't worry too much about him, he'll just give you guys someone to talk about and make fun of, your not the only one creeped out by guys like him, i bet she is too, and since your in a sexual relationship with her, you shouldn't worry too much about him. just keep doin what your doin, and maybe even defend the guy a little when she makes fun of him (this will make her get more offensive against him) don't worry he's an AFC who isn't going to be getting with your girl anytime soon

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    Sex versus balloons. You win. I wouldn't panic. It will be annoying for a little while but eventually he will hopefully fade away. Just stay strong to your virtues and be yourself and remember she chose to be with you and dumped him. She knows to back track out makes her AFC too and likely she won't do it. She will be touched by the balloons and roses and may feel either flattered or guilty. Either way you continue to make her feel other emotions that are forward in direction.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    Definitely just ignore him and don't worry about it, this happened to me once with a girl and I let pride get the better of me and kicked off with him and told him where to go, unsurprisingly the girl then told me where to go......I was a major AFC at this point lol.......lesson learnt, do your thing and let him do his because he is never going to get your girl acting like that

    Linking x

  5. #5
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    if it were me i would respectfully ask your girl if she would mind you speak to him about it like adults, and just ask the guy what its gonna take for him to realize its over and move on, at least thats what i would do when im about to the point of hitting him cuz that just doesnt end good for anybody
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  6. #6
    stixcf is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    Thanks guys ... your comments are priceless. This is exactly what I had in mind.

  7. #7
    stixcf is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    Okay so update...

    She was very emotional yesterday and kept conversations short. The emotions she was showing was negative and she didn't want to talk about the reason she felt like that. Her voice tone flat and lifeless. I was cheering her up in conversation but got a few very weird and dull laughs... then out of nowhere mid story she prompted to end the conversation. During this whole conversation there were no emotions spoken about like usual such as "I miss you" and "you're so funny" etc

    I texted her telling her that I missed her and that things will work out for her tomnorrow and that I hope she sleeps well.

    Her reply was "yeah" !?!?!?!? WTF???? I didn't reply to it.

    I was in bed by 2am'ish. I noticed that her last post on facebook was at 3:30am, just a minute after the ex posted how impressed he was with himself for surprising her, this dudes facebook is normally full of negative lingo. At 3:30am she texted me say she is sorry for her behaviour. I found this last passage a bit too suspicious.

    That is a major RED FLAG in my eyes.I am seeing her tomorrow. I need advice guys ... I'm actually worried right now and I don't know if playing it PUA cool is going to help right now.

    I appreciate your comments, thank you.

    .. and I will add two important parts that I forgot to mention...
    1. She told me the balloons and roses in her room was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for her.
    2. He told her yesterday if they were ever to get back together, they are going shopping for an engagement ring... WTF dude!?! I'm getting pissed off.

  8. #8
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    dude, yeah thats scary, and i know that everybody is gonna jump at me for saying this, but i think maybe its time to be a little less alpha and figure out whats going on but dont put the ball in her court. need to figure out whats going on before you can figure out how to deal with it
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  9. #9
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    maybe you should talk to her "ex" and figure out what happened the other night, i would give him a nice reasonable coice like "get the h3ll away from her or i'll beat your a$$" you know that nice sensual way of telling him she's your girl and that he needs to back off,i'm not saying you should threaten him or anything, you just need to remind him of his place

  10. #10
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex-Boyfriend not giving up ... should I be worried?

    Saying 'if we ever get back together we are going shopping for an engagement ring' is 1) and incredibly mean thing to say to you and 2) slightly impractical considering she broke off.

    However I know that some relationships often need an external stimulus to be taken to the next level - you don't know what you have until you loose it sort of thing. I would still play it cool and try let them sort it out hoping he eventually fizzles out. Shes confused - you be crystal clear. You also can't compete with his 2 years with her in terms of longevity so try out compete him by being smart, rational and what you say. His balloons 'touched' her. You need to have also done something touching perhaps in her eyes. I would personally ditch her or call her out for saying such a hurtful 'if we get back together' statement but that's just me.


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