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  • 3 Post By BatMan
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Thread: F-closed HB8.5 and feel bad

  1. #1
    bighugewildRicky's Avatar
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    Default F-closed HB8.5 and feel bad

    Hey guys,

    Have been running BF destroyer on this HB8.5 for a couple weeks. 3 days ago, we had a talk concerning "not letting things escalate" between us. We had been cuddling and sensually massaging and kissing a bit.

    However, last night was an f-close, and afterwards she starts with questions about "what should I do?" "if I break up with him, how long do you see us together?" These types of questions are such that are asked by a 19 year old girl, which she is. I gave her legitimate answers "you have to decide for yourself" and "I cant promise we will fall in love and be together forever, but it would be awesome if that happened."

    Her mood was great last night and I definitely have her enjoying our time spent together. There was obviously a twinge of guilt, though, which will grow and grow until she makes the break-up/stay together decision.

    She is a sweet girl who has only had LTRs. I feel sh1tty because of the chance that I helped ruin a reasonably healthy relationship and may not be able to provide her with a fantastic alternative (possible compatibility issues).

    Should I simply reframe this? E.g., her relationship couldn't have been that healthy if she is falling for me; I injected some adventure into her life and treated her well while we were together; there is a possibility we will have a great LTR ourselves.

    Thanks to anyone who posts their opinion on this.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: F-closed HB8.5 and feel shitty

    I like this. This just means that you are gaining standards.

    Do I know how to use BFDestroyers? Yes. Do I like to use them? No

    It's really distasteful and, morality aside, can be pretty stressful to pull off. Which you did, however.

    Unfortunately it is still possible to pull this off while a woman is in a reasonably healthy relationship. What happens is that the girl keeps denying anything would ever happen which is why she allows things to escalate as far as they do...before it's too late. This is a result of her lack of experience and not so much for her lack of happiness.

    Whether it's because she was unhappy or her inexperience got the better of her, there is something that would bother me if I f-closed a girl with a bf. How is she going to handle stressful situations when she is with me? Bang someone else? I know that I bring something to the table and can make her feel things that she hasn't felt before, but that doesn't mean I can control her. She could just simply be mad at me one day and then that's all it takes. So tread carefully my friend.

    I honestly think more PUAs should have standards so I'm glad for this.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: F-closed HB8.5 and feel shitty

    Mate to put it bluntly you need to decide if you want an LTR with her or not because it's only going to get worse if you allow that to happen and don't want it. All that can come from that is her getting hurt more, your right in that it can't be a totally healthy relationship at least hats what I always tell myself otherwise I would lose all faith in women tbh :L if you don't want an LTR and she can't cope with cheating on him then you need to cut it off and it is up to her what to do about him. Bf destroyer is always a bit murky and trying to decide the morals of it is hard work lol.

    Linking x

  4. #4
    bighugewildRicky's Avatar
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    Default Re: F-closed HB8.5 and feel sh1tty

    Thanks guys.

    I figure its worth the risk to take the plunge and go for the relationship. Ive told her my position on the matter and I left the ball in her court. She wanted advice as to what to tell her BF, and I gave her some guidelines but no specifics. If she is serious about me then she'll have to leverage whatever strength/emotions she has towards ending the current relationship and beginning anew.

  5. #5
    bighugewildRicky's Avatar
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    Default Re: F-closed HB8.5 and feel sh1tty

    BTW guys, while the ball is in her court, should I freeze her out a bit? Or do you think the issue is too tender for me to leave her alone with these thoughts?

    Obviously if she txted me something like, "I just broke up with the BF" I would end the Freeze Out.

    I'm asking this b/c after our convo she is back to average banter and has dropped hints as if she is waiting as long as she likes before telling the BF straight out. It was my advice that she not mention cheating, only differing needs and a wish to see other people. She disagrees.

    Any thoughts?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: F-closed HB8.5 and feel sh1tty

    Quote Originally Posted by bighugewildRicky View Post
    Hey guys,

    Have been running BF destroyer on this HB8.5 for a couple weeks. 3 days ago, we had a talk concerning "not letting things escalate" between us. t.

    I feel sh1tty because of the chance that I helped ruin a reasonably healthy relationship and may not be able to provide her with a fantastic alternative (possible compatibility issues).

    Should I simply reframe this? E.g., her relationship couldn't have been that healthy if she is falling for me; I injected some adventure into her life and treated her well while we were together; there is a possibility we will have a great LTR ourselves.

    Thanks to anyone who posts their opinion on this.
    Why are you blowing smoke up our collective a$$es? I don't sarge girls with BF personally but isn't even the problem I have with what you posted here. Paraphrasing "I ran bf destroyers for several weeks and I may have destroyed a perfectly healthy relationship."

    Dude, I have respected PUA's that say I use bf destroyers because if she really loved him I couldn't have successfully sarged her. I don't agree with it, but they take responsibility for their actions at least. You make it seem that over that course of several weeks it never crossed your mind to consider that would happen to her. That is some bulls#@t. At least man up to your actions...sheesh. What did you think was going to happen?

  7. #7
    bighugewildRicky's Avatar
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    Default Re: F-closed HB8.5 and feel sh1tty

    I never said the relationship was perfectly healthy. I said it couldn't be that healthy if she let me get that far.

    However, I anticipated a smoother transition from her current relationship to her new one (me). I haven't run BF destroyer before, I posted questions about how to proceed with it very recently.

    I suppose I expected it to result in an adventure and fun for her, not her current situation which is one of ambivalence. Surely you can see how someone new to this technique could be unprepared for the consequences.

    Anyways, the "man-up" advice is sound, so thanks for offering it.

    Quote Originally Posted by bighugewildRicky View Post


    She is a sweet girl who has only had LTRs. I feel sh1tty because of the chance that I helped ruin a reasonably healthy relationship and may not be able to provide her with a fantastic alternative (possible compatibility issues).

    Should I simply reframe this? E.g., her relationship couldn't have been that healthy if she is falling for me;

  8. #8
    HiDef is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: F-closed HB8.5 and feel sh1tty

    I recommend working your way into learning the BF destroyer slowly and without completely ending relationships.

    First, set your moral standards and always have a goal in mind with each girl you plan on using it on. Assess her situation and her relationship with her boyfriend. Don't use it on a healthy relationship; odds are that it will work even if it is a healthy one, so this is where your morals and goals come in to prevent you from messing a good thing up.

    Now, to practice learning, only have small conversations with a girl regarding her boyfriend and keep it simple without escalating Kino. So just run the usual routine, as in "I hope he treats you well" or "I'm sure he only does that because this and that." Then observe and end it there. Don't escalate, don't talk about her boyfriend for too long, and don't run the entire destroyer. Change the topic as soon as possible and don't bring him up again.

    Use this to learn and calibrate future routines so that you avoid disaster or unintended outcomes. Of course, not everything will always be perfect, but by putting some effort and thought, you will improve your success and yourself as a morally responsible and well-guided individual.

    Personally, I dislike the idea of the BF destroyer, but there will be situations where it may be required. I also see it as another aspect in understanding human psychology (I study it), so I have no problems using it as long as I maintain clear goals, standards, and morals. I agree with Suave Kino, always man up.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: F-closed HB8.5 and feel sh1tty

    I agree with Batman and his assesment of your situation, and to all pua's before using boyfriend destroyer one should ensure that they have strong and true feelings for the girl that they are about to take from another, and just because somethig is available doesn't mean you have to use it. If you do decide to use it ask yourself are these true feelings or just lust and you want a ONS. Like batman siad you are developing standards.


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