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Thread: best way to confirm a date??

  1. #11
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    I really like the tea message, BUT I don't think you should've spit it all out in one shot. By just telling her "It goes in dry, it comes out wet. The longer you keep it in, the stronger it gets. You can have it in bed with me, on the couch, or the kitchen table..." then ALLOW her to guess. This creates Tension and when you finish it before she gets a chance to guess it removes any tension you built intially. Delivery, delivery, delivery. So don't be afraid to break up your texts and leave them open ended. Sometimes I'll just write "Huh" or "Wtf" and she has no idea what I'm talking about.

    Now because of her response it could be many things. She was busy. She didn't feel the need for an elaborate response. Or she has lost interest. In any case you basically made yourself the dancing monkey in the instance because of her lack of response. So let that be the last time you write a clever text to her. Keep it simple from now on.

    If you don't have definite plans set up then there isn't a reason to expect anything definite. If you didn't take the time to set a time and place then she really isn't flaking on something that doesn't really exist. Have more conviction in your decision to set up a meet. Perhaps you can let this one go and try again next week.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  2. #12
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    Ok I didn't know this is still in process... Man in my mind women have other stuff going when they don't text back like other men... So be assertive and shoot the text str8 as if you had planned on meeting... She will let you know weather or not within' 30 minutes granted she's not able cuz of employment... I simply ask " We ON to meet?" or "where would you like to meet at?" If she don't respond, you KNOW where you stand.

  3. #13
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    Quote Originally Posted by Amsu13 View Post
    Ok I didn't know this is still in process... Man in my mind women have other stuff going when they don't text back like other men... So be assertive and shoot the text str8 as if you had planned on meeting... She will let you know weather or not within' 30 minutes granted she's not able cuz of employment... I simply ask " We ON to meet?" or "where would you like to meet at?" If she don't respond, you KNOW where you stand.
    Ya, I'm always torn about not saying anything (hoping they wonder and respond first), or sending out another message.

    I know the alpha attitude should be "ahh, its no big deal, just make arrangements with someone else", but when you're busy all the time, don't have 10 numbers at the moment that will drop everything to meet with me tonight, been working on this girl for over a week now, been going great via phone, (HB10), and not to mention that I want to get my d1ck wet tonight (lol), it SUCKS when this happens!

    "So I was thinking of sending "hey, so drinks later? I'm thinking around 8"

    Just being straight forward and asking. Does that work guys? Or is something more sly in order? I guess I could try your deal batman, but I don't know if that would work in this case. Or is something more sly in order: (note, falling asleep doing homework is an inside joke from her doing it a previous conversation)

    "Did ya pass out doing homework again last night. Shesh, what are we gonna with you... So we getting those drinks later? I'm thinkin around 8"

  4. #14
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    Ok so thought id give you an update, since i know you're all dying to know (kidding)

    I went with a simple

    M: "hey, so we still on for drinks tonight?"
    H: "what time"
    M: 8ish? By my house, then we can walk up a block to the bar"
    H: can i let you know? I'm right in the middle of a project
    M: k. Let me know soon

    Ahh the dreaded "i'll let you know"! Lol. What you think of my last message? Or any other opinions on how to handle that?

  5. #15
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    Aaaand she'll be at my house in an hour and a half.

    Thanks guys for the great discussion and tips on this topic!

  6. #16
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    "see you tonight."

    works for me
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  7. #17
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    Alright guys. So this is kind of embarrassing after my last post, but I thought I'd share and let others take a look at this...

    Her last message was: "Ok I'll find your place. I really have to finish up this homework assignment so I'll hurry, and I'll be down by you about 8-815.
    Me: Ok sounds good. Call if you need directions.
    Her: Ok

    20 mins before she is about to be at my place:

    H: "I'm not gonna make it, my grandma just fell down her stairs, have to head to the hospital"
    M:"Ru serious? Wow... sorry, hope shes ok!
    H: ya sorry

    To believe, or not to believe. That is the question. Either way I felt I had to throw in a genuine response... what good would it be if I gave her attitude or a hint that I didn't believe her. If its true, I'd look like a jerk. If its fake, no chance on a re-schedule if I give attitude.

    I also held off saying ANYTHING about a reschedule right now. Thinking about texting her later tomorrow saying "Grandma ok?" then if she responds mention "maybe another time".

    What you guys think about this? Or is there a way I could handle this better?

    P.S I'm just going out with another group of girls instead now (few friends, and their friends) so actually not that disappointing. I mean it sucks, but what you gonna do!

  8. #18
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    Any suggestions on contacting her again today? Or not contacting her.

    To recap: Girl says she'll be at my house by 8pm for a first date. Texts me 20 mins before she's supposed to be there saying "I'm sorry I can't make it my grandma fell down the stairs and were headed to the hospital". I treat it as if its legit (could be, or could be a lie) and text her sorry hope she's ok (see above post), but then nothing else to her first "sorry" message.

    She then texts me 4 hours later "I'm really sorry about tonight :-(" to which I didn't respond. This makes me think that it could be legit, because why would she contact me again if she was just trying to bail out...

    I'd like to contact her again today because of this but have not yet. Want to let her "think" about it for a little bit and try to generate some space/attraction again. Thinking about sending her:

    "how's the g-ma today?" and go from there, maybe to saying "well lets get together another time" ... bad idea or good?

    Suggestions appreciated! Overcoming these flakes, and turning them back around is something I'm really trying to work on.

  9. #19
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    I just had a Female Flake (as far as I'm concerned) on me last week with the "I really need rest exhausted line."

    I haven't text her since, Nor her me... In both of our situations those girls did something else...

    Basically your girl is keeping you on the hook until she's ready for you, the reason for the call back.

    I wouldn't even mention it and let her come up with another date for meeting, but meanwhile get some more fish and keep her on the hook... If she's interested she'll move towards you.

    Just how I go at these things...

  10. #20
    batsy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: best way to confirm a date??

    I think you should never, ever

    a) make tentative plans - nono
    b) confirm a date

    You set a date. You take it for granted that she's going to be there when you've agreed. No confirmations, it just signals insecurity (wow, are you really really coming?!??).

    When a date is set, it stands. If she flakes, call another one and ask if they're up for a insta-date. Or go drinking with your buddies and get new numbers.


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