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  1. #1
    rfjammer is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Girl flaking - advice needed on how to reinitiate via text

    Ok,

    Basically been trying to set up a d2 with a girl I met at a party. Everything looked set for Monday evening and then she texts me about 4 hours before we were supposed to head out saying she needs to stay at work and then really needed to sort out her stuff for moving (which is true she is moving out, I work with her flat mate), she finished the text with "another time?".

    I replied saying "well when are you free?" - probably should have suggested something as opposed to this but too late now. However that was over 48 hours ago and no reply. I haven't chased yet

    Got a feeling that this isn't destined to really go anywhere but I'm persistent so I'm willing to give it one more shot.

    However not really sure how to restart/rebuild attraction via text.

    All and any advice gratefully received.

  2. #2
    BillsFan85 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl flaking - advice needed on how to reinitiate via text

    Go cold for ~2 weeks. Come back with a strong text opener that was relevant to some interaction between you. For example I met this girl the other night and we danced. I was watching The Walking Dead and started the convo off with "hey watching the walking dead and these zombie chics reminded me of your questionable dance moves". You get the jist. After a few exchanges and laughs bring up an event your attending with some friends. Either you have an extra ticket or she should come cause its gonna be fun. If thats a no than keep fishin

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girl flaking - advice needed on how to reinitiate via text

    Quote Originally Posted by BillsFan85 View Post
    Go cold for ~2 weeks. Come back with a strong text opener that was relevant to some interaction between you. For example I met this girl the other night and we danced. I was watching The Walking Dead and started the convo off with "hey watching the walking dead and these zombie chics reminded me of your questionable dance moves". You get the jist. After a few exchanges and laughs bring up an event your attending with some friends. Either you have an extra ticket or she should come cause its gonna be fun. If thats a no than keep fishin
    Nice interaction!
    Using a current/relevant topic, results in higher success rates! (And... using it as a way to let her know it reminds you of her is bonus points!!)

    BTW- The Bills & Titans play this Sunday.... and seeing how I'm from Nashville I'll leave you with this thought:
    "Music City Miracle"


    LOL!

    But that aside; great post my friend!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl flaking - advice needed on how to reinitiate via text

    As I have said before on this site these are my rules for flakes. 2 strikes and your out. No third strike. Only excuses accepted are family, work, health (her work and moving house is an acceptable excuse). If a girl flakes the second time, I delete her from my phone and its up to her to reinitiate. I have zero patience for it.

    In your situation I would have said a simple 'sure' when she asked about dating another time. It shouldnt be something tp phase you so dont be phased by it or fall back into throwing the ball back into her court by saying 'when are you free' or I hear a lot of guys say on this site 'let me know when you want to do something'.

    I don't neccessarily think you have to go cold or Freeze Out for a week because that kinda shows it has bothered you and you are taking action...even punishing her for it...but as I mentioned before she had a genuine excuse. We all know moving is a pain in the ass...so a better way is to continue talking to her but not pressure her. Just the odd text to say hi and make her laugh. Not lot's of questions...just a few random inspiring things. Maybe even the odd jealousy thing 'Hows the move going? Im at ____ club the music's pumping, wish you were here'. That will give her some time to see if she re-initiates a date, gives yourself some time to gather intel on when she could be free next (she may discuss her life and weeks plans naturally) and then you can ask her out again when you are in a better situation to know she's stable and sorted out.


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