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Thread: AFC's in a LTR?

  1. #1
    Hotel Yorba is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default AFC's in a LTR?

    I was wondering what the forums thoughts on running game whilst in a relationship that has lasted for some time (at least 6 months). While acting like an AFC is never a good idea in general, does it have a place in a LTR to help establish a better connection? In my in-experienced opinion, I think maybe a few "I really want to see you" or a couple "I love you"s could help repair or deepen a connection with a girl. Of course you have to calibrate according to the situation and never over do it (Which I learned the hard way HA!).


    Anywho I'm interested in opinions!!! What say you?!

    P.S. A little example where being acting AFC didn't help: My friend and his gf of two years have been on a rough patch lately (him acting beta). They got into a fight and she was pissed. So the next morning he brought her flowers and coffee and apologized for the problem. Apparently she didn't like the gesture, now he's in hyper afc mode and she's getting colder and colder.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: AFC's in a LTR?

    Being AFC (which is beta, neediness, chasing, inaction, hesitating, etc) will not help a relationship - they will only hurt it.

    Telling a girl that you want to spend time with her, telling her you care isn't an AFC move, it's a high-value move! I mean heck, T-Mal just got engaged and I'm sure he had to do things like this at some point and I'm sure he kept his Alpha frame

    Most of Venusian arts focuses on showing value BEFORE sleeping with a girl. Which means, yeah, withholding validation, keeping an abundance Mindset, etc. But the game changes once two people are invested in eachother. Sex occurs at about 65% compliance, but there are levels of compliance far above that - trust is one, love is another.

    To show interest and caring - real genuine caring - for a woman once you've built a relationship with her isn't AFC by any means, it's just further congruance with the high-value image you've already demonstrated to her.

    IMO, I'd say once you've been dating for a while the game doesn't become irrelevant or just disappear, but it changes; reaches a homeostasis of sorts, becomes more about caring companionship than unbridled excitment.

    But I'm sure there's others who can tell us more
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  3. #3
    Hotel Yorba is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: AFC's in a LTR?

    That's an excellent elaboration! My buddy isn't doing so hot in his relationship and I've tried to help him but he insists on "going with his gut."


    I think there are ways to express emotion without sounding like an AFC, which I think is important especially if your goal is getting/keeping a girlfriend. Many relationships I've had failed because I sounded too needy and was wanting validation from the girl. Aspiring to become a PUA has opened my eyes a lot and has helped me overcome many errors in my way of thinking although I still have a lot to learn and practice.

    When I was at my lowest (about a year ago) I sensed my gf was going to end it soon but I couldnt put my finger on why. And even if I did I wouldnt have known how to fix it. Anyway, I drove to her house one night and started balling because I knew things would be over soon. I know what you're thinking..."she booted him out of her house and life." Heres the strange part:We actually ended up having sex BUT being the afc I was I still wanted to talk about "us" afterwards!!! That's when she said "I need to go to sleep, you should go." I look back on that night now and I can't say I blame her LOL

    Anybody else have a defining moment of being an AFC?


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