I bet you saw that cute guy in the picture and thought "He looks really sweet!"
Well I'm not. I'm a hard drinking, hell raising, Godless heathen who smokes a pack a day.
I'm looking for a married woman. Preferably to a rich husband who would enjoy spending ungodly amounts of money on me in return for spicing up an otherwise dull sex life.
She has to be model hot, with huge breasts possibly augmented by previously mentioned hubby's cash reserves.
She should live in a home with at least $750k of recently appraised real estate and a guest house in which I can live in my new employment as Pool Boy.
I would prefer that she carry a life insurance policy of at least $500k of which I am the sole beneficiary.
She should drive at least a recent model BMW and provide me with a copy of the keys, which I can borrow for long periods of time while Hubby is away on "business trips" to Vegas with his hot young secretary in tow.
In return I offer excitement, laughs, and lots of wild abandoned physical delights during secret moonlight trysts.
If this is the kind of sexy man your loins have been yearning for, then write promptly before your neighbors wife decides to get one of her own.
First Date We'd meet in a seedy bar, with sawdust and peanut shells strewn across the floor. The bartender will be a 45 year old toothless alcoholic biker chick who has seen her best days and on the end of the bar will be an old man named Joe or Bob.
We'll drink cheap booze and listen to rotten played out Southern Rock hits from the 70's. Neat huh?