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  1. #1
    airsoft200516 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    This is my first actual post in the PUA Forums. I need help in reigniting the spark in my relationship that seems to be drifting further away from me due to a bad mistake I made.

    First off, a little background. I have just recently moved to a new state. In my previous state I had my game down to a tee and could pull just about any girl I wanted. I'm a decent looking guy with a great outgoing and funny personality. After many unsuccessful flings in my new state I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to learn a whole new game, because just about everything that worked in my old state hurts me here. The things the girls loved about me in my old state are the things they dislike about me here. In addition I don't really care for the girls here either they seem to be really trashy and just not my type. FYI my old state was in the south so that probably explains the difference in the girls.

    Fortunately for me, I met a girl from somewhere else through some friends a while back. We kind of had a spark the first night we met but nothing became of it. We had seen each other occasionally since then but nothing. (I originally wasn't that attracted to her). But recently I got her number and we had been talking for a week or so and then decided to hang out jut the two of us. We watched a movie and kissed and cuddled and everything went perfect. We continued this for a short while and then last weekend I had her and her friend and his boyfriend over to drink at my house. This is where I made my mistake.

    The night was going great from the start. I had a little too much to drink and may have been making a little bit of a fool out of my self, but nothing too serious. It didn't seem to bother her at all, if anything she thought it was funny. But when her friend and her bf went to bed elsewhere, be began to really go at it. (at this time I thought this girl was not a prude but just a nice girl who wouldn't want to go all the way right off the bat) But we were hooking up and when things got really heated at around second base I could tell she really wanted me badly. And what did i do?! I said something along the lines of. "Don;t get me wrong I want you really bad right now more than you even know, but I don't want to have sex so soon. It;s messed up relationships for me in the past, I'd rather wait til we get more comfortable and then that will make it all the more better." (I would have done anything else with her just not all the way) Ouch, I know. My reasoning however was that this ALWAYS worked down south. Girls loved this and it just made them want me more because they couldn't have me. Plus they thought it was kind of cute. (I actually wanted to have sex I just said this as a tactic to pull her in closer to me)

    As I'm sure you can guess, things haven't been the same since. I'm pretty sure she still digs me somewhat, but it is apparent that I really turned her off to me. The next morning after that night, all four of us went to the mall and I could tell then something was different. And since then shes been being pretty short over text. Now I haven;t been too overbearing ya know if I can tell she doesn't want to talk I'll wait til the next day or something.

    Why this girl is so very important to me, more than any other girl I've met here in my new state, is because she too is from somewhere else and moved here around the same time as me. She is not like the typical girl in this state. Very different and I just dig her a whole lot. You could say I have a legit man-crush which hasn't happened to me literally in years where I actually like a girl hardcore and not just want to have a little thing. I would really like to get to know this girl better and actually have a relationship.

    Please give me some advice of what to do to reignite that spark that we had. I know people are going to say just move on, but I'm telling you girls like her up here are very rare. I meet a lot of girls and I've been here 5 months and have not yet met a single one that compares.

    I feel like if I can get her to hang out with me I can show her that that was some kind of misunderstanding and that i do mean business. However, right now were at the point I think that if I asked her to hang out there's a good chance she'd blow me off unless I do it just the right way. I know I need to somehow make her realize that I am into her sexually. I just don;t know how to get to that point in a conversation with her just offering me these short texts.

    Thank you so much for the help!

  2. #2
    airsoft200516 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    I forgot to mention what happened after I said what I said.

    It got really awkward and we stopped hooking up. (and the position we were in made it even more awkward) So to make it less awkward I offered the idea to go have a cig. during the cig she said she was really tired and ready to go to bed. (which wasn't a lie because we had been up really late two nights before and she had work early the next morning) But we just ended up going to bed together but merely just sleeping.

  3. #3
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    Well, I'm getting that she may have categorized you as boring for not sleeping with her or maybe it's that she's offended, so she's become distant in an effort to protect her bruised ego. This could also make you seem like a challenge though which could ultimately work in your favor if you play you're cards right. You gave her a major push by not sleeping with her. Now is the time to start to pull. Get really handsy with her. Make sure that she knows through you're body language and such that you're turned on by her and sex is on your dirty little mind. Beware, she might turn you down this time to get revenge. Play it cool if she does, good luck.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  4. #4
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    One more thing, don't be afraid to be sexual with a woman. You have a dick and it gets hard for a reason. Don't fall victim to the beta initiative that society has ingrained into you. What do you think a guy would have done 10,000 years ago if a woman was eager and willing?!! Do you think he would have said "baby, I want to get to know you first", fark no! He would have drilled her into a coma and then eaten sabertooth tiger afterwards.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  5. #5
    airsoft200516 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    Okay well thanks. But how can I even get her in person so that I can do that? Like is there anything I could call or text her or say on FB or something?

  6. #6
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    Read up on text game if you haven't done so already. Post a play by play of your text, facebook, or phone convos with her up to this point, here on this thread so you can get feedback and advice. It's hard to know exactly where you're at without more info.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  7. #7
    airsoft200516 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation Re: New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    Quote Originally Posted by liukang75 View Post
    Read up on text game if you haven't done so already. Post a play by play of your text, facebook, or phone convos with her up to this point, here on this thread so you can get feedback and advice. It's hard to know exactly where you're at without more info.
    Yes I have read the text game in depth but unfortunately... my phone doesn't save texts very long. I really wish I had it... but thank you so much for trying to help!

    I probably shouldn't have; but I texted her around this time last night (1230ish) and said "Hey there :P" and received no response. And I know she is typically up at that time if not she would have responded in the morning like she used to. And just now (I probably shouldn't have done this) texted her and said "Good evenin miss [nickname] what do you have planned for holloween?(its not supposed to rain anymore thank god) and is everything straight with your people back home?" and by people i mean her old friends in New York due to the hurricane. And as I'm typing this she responded with (oh shit and I'm just reading this just now as I'm typing!!!) she said... "Honestly I think ill be back in New York lol I got kicked out." and she means kicked out of her home here in my state.

    What should I say someone please help me quick?!?! and I know i should wait a little bit before responding.

  8. #8
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    I lightly tease her about being homeless and then invite her over to my place. Tell her that you're running a soup kitchen for hot runaways and she can be the first one that you give your charity to--if she is lucky. Be playful. Offer her a nice hot bowl of soup.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  9. #9
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    Just a word of caution: I'm usually pretty ballsy with how I talk to women. I've gotten myself into trouble over the years... Alot of times I remove myself from caring what they will think of my brash behavior. This has worked to my advantage more times than not. Teasing is an art.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  10. #10
    airsoft200516 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New Relationship Drifting Away. Help in Reigniting the Spark.

    Quote Originally Posted by liukang75 View Post
    Just a word of caution: I'm usually pretty ballsy with how I talk to women. I've gotten myself into trouble over the years... Alot of times I remove myself from caring what they will think of my brash behavior. This has worked to my advantage more times than not. Teasing is an art.

    Ya that would've probably worked. But she's not even flexin on me, she actually did get kicked out and is already leaving town. (I've verified that she wasn't just putting me off) And trust me I made a good attempt to get her to stay with no success... Not even for one day or night. So I guess I'm back in the field haha.


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