This is my first actual post in the PUA Forums. I need help in reigniting the spark in my relationship that seems to be drifting further away from me due to a bad mistake I made.
First off, a little background. I have just recently moved to a new state. In my previous state I had my game down to a tee and could pull just about any girl I wanted. I'm a decent looking guy with a great outgoing and funny personality. After many unsuccessful flings in my new state I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to learn a whole new game, because just about everything that worked in my old state hurts me here. The things the girls loved about me in my old state are the things they dislike about me here. In addition I don't really care for the girls here either they seem to be really trashy and just not my type. FYI my old state was in the south so that probably explains the difference in the girls.
Fortunately for me, I met a girl from somewhere else through some friends a while back. We kind of had a spark the first night we met but nothing became of it. We had seen each other occasionally since then but nothing. (I originally wasn't that attracted to her). But recently I got her number and we had been talking for a week or so and then decided to hang out jut the two of us. We watched a movie and kissed and cuddled and everything went perfect. We continued this for a short while and then last weekend I had her and her friend and his boyfriend over to drink at my house. This is where I made my mistake.
The night was going great from the start. I had a little too much to drink and may have been making a little bit of a fool out of my self, but nothing too serious. It didn't seem to bother her at all, if anything she thought it was funny. But when her friend and her bf went to bed elsewhere, be began to really go at it. (at this time I thought this girl was not a prude but just a nice girl who wouldn't want to go all the way right off the bat) But we were hooking up and when things got really heated at around second base I could tell she really wanted me badly. And what did i do?! I said something along the lines of. "Don;t get me wrong I want you really bad right now more than you even know, but I don't want to have sex so soon. It;s messed up relationships for me in the past, I'd rather wait til we get more comfortable and then that will make it all the more better." (I would have done anything else with her just not all the way) Ouch, I know. My reasoning however was that this ALWAYS worked down south. Girls loved this and it just made them want me more because they couldn't have me. Plus they thought it was kind of cute. (I actually wanted to have sex I just said this as a tactic to pull her in closer to me)
As I'm sure you can guess, things haven't been the same since. I'm pretty sure she still digs me somewhat, but it is apparent that I really turned her off to me. The next morning after that night, all four of us went to the mall and I could tell then something was different. And since then shes been being pretty short over text. Now I haven;t been too overbearing ya know if I can tell she doesn't want to talk I'll wait til the next day or something.
Why this girl is so very important to me, more than any other girl I've met here in my new state, is because she too is from somewhere else and moved here around the same time as me. She is not like the typical girl in this state. Very different and I just dig her a whole lot. You could say I have a legit man-crush which hasn't happened to me literally in years where I actually like a girl hardcore and not just want to have a little thing. I would really like to get to know this girl better and actually have a relationship.
Please give me some advice of what to do to reignite that spark that we had. I know people are going to say just move on, but I'm telling you girls like her up here are very rare. I meet a lot of girls and I've been here 5 months and have not yet met a single one that compares.
I feel like if I can get her to hang out with me I can show her that that was some kind of misunderstanding and that i do mean business. However, right now were at the point I think that if I asked her to hang out there's a good chance she'd blow me off unless I do it just the right way. I know I need to somehow make her realize that I am into her sexually. I just don;t know how to get to that point in a conversation with her just offering me these short texts.
Thank you so much for the help!