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  • 1 Post By urbancowboy
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  • 1 Post By Amsu13

Thread: My Progress, State of Online Dating and Re-Opening

  1. #1
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default My Progress, State of Online Dating and Re-Opening

    Hello gentlemen, Urban Cowboy checking in here, AKA the guerilla soldier, raiding and pillaging every Starbucks and bookstore in the country, stealing HB10s from their AMOG boyfriends. I'm gonna impart some wisdom to the rookies, who feel right now the way I felt only a week ago, so this is gonna be a long post. I'll bold the part that I'm directing more so at more experienced posters so all the slow-readers among us don't have an aneurysm.

    So, I return to you a changed rAFC, having dived to the deepest depths of POF and OKC. A week (or six) ago, I sat trembling at the fingertips, palm sweat pouring onto my keyboard, fumbling through my first profile (this is the 3rd incarnation now and by far, the best) and opening MILFs (my stated goal is to find a sugar momma) with elementary school playground lines that they so kindly rejected and then blocked me. If I may, I want to call your attention to two concepts and a third rant that I think will be tremendously instructive to you all...

    The first is the issue of how do you write a profile? I mean, everyone keeps telling you to be C+F...but someone else says HBs are onto that, you need to go Direct Game or no, go old school Mystery Method with negs and string theory. The truth is, none of that f@cking matters. For two reasons...one, you're most likely gonna do what everyone does when they first start out and look for a link to someone else's on the forums and just steal theirs. But two and more importantly, whatever style you decide to go with it MUST MUST MUST be congruent with your personality. The first person to advise me, while helpful, didn't realize I was just gonna take his profile and copy + paste and change a few things. Then I would msg MILFs and be instantly brushed off, without so much as a "What's your name?" before they gave me the "you're too young" line of shit. I was ready to quit. What I didn't realize is that where that poster had a very random, funny type personality, I don't. I like to hit things, usually people. So I needed a profile that would match up with what I would be saying to HBs when I msgd them.

    I happened to stumble across another posters in the archives one day and his POF profile was WAY more like something I would write.

    So much so, that instead of copying what he wrote, I took one look through his profile, copied some parts of it but I was finally starting to see under the surface and uncover some of the IDEAS behind certain lines and ways of saying things. This combined with one other factor sent my success online (relative to where I had been) through the roof. Admittedly when I finally sat down to write mine, I got just a little high as fuck so I'd be slightly more uninhibited and humorous but that's neither here nor there. Bcuz this time it was all me behind the screen and girls could tell.

    This is is what my gmail account looks like every single day now unless I just don't reply to any msgs at all: (mod will have to post since I don't have enough posts to put up links yet)

    Which brings me to my second point, your opener. It's funny bcuz it's so important online and yet SO EASY to get right that once you know how to craft a good opener, you'll wanna facepalm yoursely into infinity for being such an idiot. I've seen guys on here experimenting with every single kind of opener you can imagine. Obviously, my case is somewhat exceptional bcuz I want a sugar momma but the principle is the same: you need to get her attention before she DQs you as being weird, creepy, etc based on either something you say or your profile. After hundreds of years of oppression, girls aren't wrong to be suspicious of any handsome male who rides into her life on so many KBs of negs (or whatever).

    So, what I figured out is you've gotta the hook in and in deep before she even realizes she's talking to you, even in spite of herself. That means your first msg has to evoke some kind of emotion (I go for anger or indigence, typically) and then find a way to back off it without seeming like you're backing off. This is why your opener can be almost anything that gets her to smile and think, even if it's just for a split second. Maybe it's just my Southern hospitality, but down here, we have a rule that no matter how mad you are, you never call a girl fat, ugly or a slut. So those are the the only three things you need to stay away from with your openers. But think about it, this is why the famous video game opener the "let's rob a bank" opener work. Before she's looked at your profile, she's looking at you through a lens of "He's cool, I want to know more about him" not "What's wrong with this one, the 30th needy loser to msg me today?"

    After that, then you go into rapport building mode and Number Close, according to other posters. I'm not there yet so I won't pretend I am. But when you realize you can be yourself while still gaining her trust, instead of trying to be this Casavona character in your head, it becomes SO much easier to build.

    NOTE: The OKC number is pretty low bcuz I actually JUST fixed that one since I didn't start using OKC seriously until POF started slowing down my account bcuz I was talking to too many girls (seriously). But some of the msgs I've gotten are great. I thought about it while I was writing and I'll link the OKC profile for 12 hours or something on a day I'm not quite as busy and tired and can take it down right on schedule. This way, everyone can get a look but there won't suddenly be 10,000 guys on OKC with the same aggregated lines I stole from a variety of sources.

    Down to business here, as some of you (probably very few of you) may or may not know I'm pretty serious about using online avenues to find my sugar momma. So that's my focus. However, there are a lot more girls on POF where I am that are my age (early 20s) than hot, rich MILFs. So I end up gaming a lot of both. Do you guys (speaking to people who know about online dating sites now) have things you look for in girls that tell you "Stay the fuck away, she's (hi-maintenance/crazy/gonna kill you after you take her out)." I've been trying to use screening techniques to avoid girls who seem like they're gonna be obviously not worth my time (pencil thin eyebrows, platnium blonde hair and razor thin eyebrows are usually the giveaway lol) but I haven't seen much discussion of it on here and I was wondering if some the MPUAs could serve us some knowledge nuggets on the issue.

    My other question is about re-opening a HB like a month late that you had an amicable but firm end to a conversation with. Can it be done? This hot 39 year old lady lawyer was talking to me and said that she was flattered but she was old enough to be my Mom and was looking for a life partner and there was a double digit age difference between us, blahblahblah. I told her that I had long been dating 10 years older than my age but I understood her. Then I told her to take care and she wished the best of luck finding "someone special". How long would you wait to hit her up again to see how she's doing and whether she's found someone and how would you go about that without seeming needy/desperate?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: My Progress, State of Online Dating and Re-Opening

    This...Is absolutely fantastic!

    For screening, I would look at my online guide under the photo screening section (although that guide is now semi-obsolete lol )

    For the month long person, you are free to re-open IF
    -You have done a major profile revision since then
    -You have changed your main pic

    She has probably forgotten about you, and you can safely re-open (if she does remember just act cool)

    Once again, great work! As someone who is acutally practicing his pick up through online game (PUA does NOT work in college, you need college/social circle building game for that) this is immensely helpful!
    "My enemies are advanced, bold, intelligent and powerful. But I am evolved"
    -Kerrigan

  3. #3
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My Progress, State of Online Dating and Re-Opening

    This was kinda my dilemma too^. I went to a state school (as in UG or a school like that, not community college) for a year and I had some hi-status friends. Maybe a little awkward at times but they were good people. I was good with girls. So we all used to ball. Then, for personal reasons, I had to go away for a year. They were still my friends but they all had to move on with their lives and had met girls that I couldn't since I was too late to get in on certain frats and shit. So, this was my solution. I like how picky it allows me to be.

  4. #4
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My Progress, State of Online Dating and Re-Opening

    Peace... The one thing I would not do is tell a woman that I have experience dating woman her age... She would feel like she is just another woman you are dating or may wonder Why you are dating older women...

    When the question of age is brought up... I say age is just a number we use to identify how long we been on Earth. We are spiritual beings and a true spiritual connection is eternal... I hit them with that!! 1) it identifies who I AM and who she Is 2) women see that you are a deep individual and they are looking for extraordinary 3) good responses attract women....

    But once again if this is who you are as a person (you are) then you can incorporate this into responses for the occassion.

  5. #5
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My Progress, State of Online Dating and Re-Opening

    Quote Originally Posted by Amsu13 View Post
    Peace... The one thing I would not do is tell a woman that I have experience dating woman her age... She would feel like she is just another woman you are dating or may wonder Why you are dating older women...

    When the question of age is brought up... I say age is just a number we use to identify how long we been on Earth. We are spiritual beings and a true spiritual connection is eternal... I hit them with that!! 1) it identifies who I AM and who she Is 2) women see that you are a deep individual and they are looking for extraordinary 3) good responses attract women....

    But once again if this is who you are as a person (you are) then you can incorporate this into responses for the occassion.
    I like that line. I just have to find the right way to work it into the conversation. I hate when I use a line on a girl and I cringe as I type it bcuz it sounds like a line to me.


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