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  1. #1
    Nosepicker1980 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Critique my match bio

    HEADING: "Run Little Girl"
    BIO CONTENT
    Yes, that's right. Run little girl. You could be 25 or 40, if you want a boy-toy to chase you around I will just end up chewing you up and spitting you out. Taste-test tells all, and I have a cultured palate. I gave you fair warning.
    (**some exceptions apply, see <me> for details. Side effects may include eye-strain, carpal tunnel syndrome, and extended periods of typing**)
    Profiles are so boring!!! I decided to try and use the entire character limit and completely bore you to tears. If you can't make it to the end I'll buy you a beer. Deal? Deal.
    About me...
    I work, I'm a uni student, and run a little side-business. My end goal career-wise is to have "Job Creator" as the title on my business card. Vague much? You bet. Maybe I haven't figured it all out yet, but everyone I know who thought they knew and learned the journey of life is the greater part, not the destination. Carpe Diem, n'est pas?

    Oh yeah, and.. I work out! (wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah). Really though, I'm not a gym rat and I'm all natural.... and I only kiss my biceps in private :P haha Now I buddy up with my little brother and even my retired parents are in the gym regularly. Bodybuilding meshes well with my mantra in life - Do your best and then do better next time. If only in a physical way, weightlifting reminds me that in life failure is not an option. Unless it is your only option. SO BRING IT ON! (0.o)
    'scuse me! I mean, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"... yeah...

    Things I value: Family. Friends, work ethic, moral ethics, generosity, caring, standards, compassion, determination, drive, independence, and a constant sense of forward momentum. I'm unhappy when life stagnates. I can whistle almost anything. But I don't perform, you'll have to catch me doing it. My goal this winter is to take some music lessons to refine my piano/guitar and maybe some dance lessons. Meringue? Salsa? Ball-Room? I haven't a clue yet. Any suggestions?

    "What do I "Do"? Everything I can, and when I can't - I learn how. Marketing, Drywall, Graphic Design, Landscaping, Security, Logistics, Editing... My skills are diverse. I'm not an expert of anything, but I have a trusty brain and use the left and the right. Trust me, putting me into a category does both of us a disservice. Plus the repair bill for damages when I break the mold are on your dime! HULK SMASH!

    Who I'm looking for:
    Tough question. Beautiful on the inside. Period. Physical attraction is an obvious necessity but I want none of this evil neurotic drama-queen super-model wanna-be eyelash and hair extending fake-talon-installing gum smacking stuff I keep seeing at the malls, "LIKE OH MAAI GAWWWD" Grown Women! Please no. no-no-no no. Please also have a life and some girlfriends that are real friends of yours. You need them, I can't replace your social sphere, only expand it. You don't need to have fancy degrees or a special career. Hell, I don't care if you live with your parents! Just be cool and fun with a dash of awesome and we'll see where it goes.
    But what you do need are:
    1. The willingness to give serious effort when you arm wrestle me. And I mean big-time effort. Like you had to lift a car to save a baby kind of big-time effort. Like developing caveman brow ridges from the exertion and concentration kind of big-time effort. I think you get the picture. Oh you WILL arm wrestle me! Often! And southpaw too!! Not in public though, I'd totally embarrass you every single time :P
    2. The ability to get around on your own. I don't need or own a car, I can get anywhere, or rent. My chariot usually has 2 wheels and pedals, plus 2 feet and a heartbeat.
    3. Have a generally active lifestyle, but have enough time to participate in the dull routine that is dating. EVERYBODY EATS RIGHT? lol
    4. IMPORTANT! I almost forgot. MUST HAVE MASSIVE GAP TOOTH. NO EXCEPTIONS :P

    haha, 12 characters left:
    I'm just looking for my wife in this mess of life
    So won't the perfect lady Please stand up, please stand up

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Critique my match bio

    It definitely has a couple funny lines....

    But, not many girls are going to read through the whole thing. (if any)

    It also comes across as though you're trying too hard, just for the sake of being "cocky-funny".

    Although it's true you never want to tell your entire life story, you DO need to make sure the girl can actually learn something about you & your personality.

    -That's my 2 cents.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Nosepicker1980 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Critique my match bio

    thanks! I appreciate it! Long on purpose, but I get the point.

  4. #4
    Nosepicker1980 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    7 days registered100 Experience Points
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    Default Re: Critique my match bio

    tried to tone it down, any feedback?

    Profiles are so boring!!! And so is dating (sometimes).
    Can you gain 100 POINTS in 4 emails or less? There are no rules, just prove to me that you're cool enough for a coffee and I'll buy.

    About me...
    I have a sense of humor that can catch you off-guard. Includes, but not limited to, secret hand shakes and couch body-slams. Also includes first aid :P I can appear a bit reserved when first meeting up IRL (in real life). It's not because I'm shy, just cautious. You might be crazy! I'll also try not to make any sudden movements just in case... and back away slowly without breaking eye contact if you become a threat :P Don't worry, after we get the first thumb-war in I'm ready to rock!

    My life revolves around family, friends, gym. I could be homeless and jobless and be sated with these three things. I'm not (homeless and jobless) though, I work 2 jobs that I can't complain about but don't talk much about. I go to uni part time, and have a little side-business helping people. I work hard, I pay my bills, I put aside and I go out when something fun is happening. Life is good!
    Flip-side to that, I am also a pragmatic minimalist: I don't own what I don't need and if I need it I'll get it. Sorry ladies, this includes a car. Rent, Cab, Bus, Bike, Walk, Swim, Canoe/Portage you savvy? What? I'm not a gypsey! I need a big comfy couch in an cozy apartment, I don't need a 3 bedroom fixer-upper with a lawn and white-picket fence. I think you get the point. I'm not a vegan or a tree hugger, but I am socially aware and informed enough to care.

    I'm here to meet women I can get along with. No date? no problem! I'm told these sites are a numbers game, and chemistry is important to me so I have a points requirement and email limit. Consider it a challenge and a qualifier. It's not hard you just have to be cool enough that's all I make the time but only for awesome. On this site I'm just looking for some girls who want to meet up and do stuff. Coffee, drinks, random stuff, breakfast kidding! We don't have to date, but we could if there's a connection. I expect to meet a lot of new friends I can hang out with and enjoy new experiences before I'm through. No sneaky stuff, you're looking at a straight shooter. From the hip, POW! :P

    PRE-REQUISITES FOR ENTRY:
    1. Attractive. Inside too. No fakers. That doesn't mean you need makeup. Or maybe it does, but that's not my call. Just be yourself. This one's completely up to me, just don't over do it will ya?
    2. Independent thinker, openminded, sane. Well... mostly sane. I don't mind a bit of crazy... i said a bit.
    3. Must be willing to give genuine effort in our future arm wrestles. And we WILL arm wrestle. Frequently. South-paw too! And I expect big-time effort! Like veins popping and eyes bugging out big-time effort! But not in public though, I'd totally embarrass you every single time and I'd rather not do victory dances and mocking jestures around strangers.
    4. A life, a job and some REAL girlfriends. Not the snooty gossip-mongers but the ones that are supportive. 'Cause you'll need them when you keep losing at arm wrestling.

    WHO I'M AVOIDING:
    I want none of this evil neurotic drama-queen super-model wanna-be eyelash and hair extending fake-talon-installing gum smacking stuff I keep seeing at the malls, "LIKE OH MAAI GAWWWD" Grown Women!?! Please no. no-no-no no. We should have a no-makeup coffee date at starbucks! Sweats or yoga pants optional.

    You don't need to have fancy degrees or a special career. Hell, I don't care if you live with your parents! Just be cool and fun with a dash of awesome and we'll see where it goes.

    LET ME KNOW IF YOU GET ANY BONUS POINTS:
    If you own at least one pair of yoga pants, PLUS 1 POINT! (each, i love yoga pants)
    If you have a fancy high paying career, education, or income PLUS 3 POINTS (combined total)
    If you enjoy cuddling but won't make my arm fall asleep, PLUS 15 POINTs!
    If you think they should bring back Thundercats PLUS 16 POINTS!
    If you can relax around a guy you just met, PLUS 20 POINTS!
    If you prefer dishes to cooking PLUS 35 POINTS
    (TOTAL POTENTIAL POINTS 90 OF THE REQUIRED 100)

    Waiting on your email. GO!

  5. #5
    Nosepicker1980 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 247, Level: 4
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    Default Re: Critique my match bio

    Thanks for all the DM tips and critiques, Here is a refined (or completely different?) version that has become quite the hit with ladies on match.com. I also find it is a great filter for women who don't know how to have a little fun.... And at the end of the day dating shouldn't be cold like an interview.
    *WARNING: INCOMING SHORT-NOVEL READING ASSIGNMENT*
    About me:

    I have 2 jobs I enjoy, a side business I pursue at leisure, attend university part-time, and attend the gym as a regular part of my lifestyle. Busy, busy - but still have enough time to write amazing profiles and enjoy an evening out on weekends here and there. I'm close to, and enjoy cozy surroundings with, friends and family. Bonfires, living rooms, patios, parks, I enjoy visiting and hosting both. I make a mean cappuccino, and you should see my breakfasts haha

    I appear reserved in person at first, but not because I'm shy. Just until I know you're not crazy. I will also avoid making sudden movements and try never to break eye contact or run from a predator. I don't drink a lot and know my limits, which also helps me keep my reflexes sharp :P

    In relationships (and life in general) I do what I say, keep my promises and pay my bills. I enjoy a good laugh, prefer comedy and action movies, dislike horror/thriller movies, and will listen to any music besides country and hard metal style music where lyrics and instruments are both distorted (ok maybe a little bit).

    With all respect truly intended, I'm not interested in women who have wedding or baby fever. You do what you need to do, but I'm looking for love first without the ticking clock for pressure. I'm not a sperm donor or a future alimony cheque, and I'm not interested in a short-lived relationship. Mutual reciprocity, teamwork, and respect are absolute musts. If we can't get along, we won't last long. But if I still think you're beautiful when you're angry we may just have something! I'm a gentle soul and wish the best for everyone, but I have my own goals and dreams too.

    I don't live with my parents but I love them. I work in a professional environment but also enjoy getting my hands dirty. I'm good with my hands, my brain, and am always willing to lend a hand if I can spare. As the Red-Green show's mantra once said, "If they can't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy" and I do what I can either way.

    About you:
    Here's the deal: I don't know the woman of my dreams. I don't think I've met her yet. So play a game with me. If you win, you might be cool enough to handle alllll this If you're cool enough to play along at least we might become friends! Here are the rules:

    1. 4 emails or less. (No pen-pals please)
    2. Collect 100 points including conversation and the bonus round below
    3. Time Limit of 30 days from first contact
    3. Have some pizzaz, and fun

    Your prize: A NEW CAR!!! haha not really, but I'll buy your first drink or a starbucks or a booster juice, or whatever.

    If you own at least one pair of yoga pants, PLUS 1 POINT!(each pair)
    If you have a fancy career, education, or income PLUS 3 POINTS (combined maximum total)
    If you think they should bring back thundercats PLUS 7 POINTS!!
    If you enjoy cuddling without cutting off a guy's circulation PLUS 19 POINTS!!
    If you're independent and capable PLUS 25 POINTS!!

    Be sure to itemize these, but don't worry too much. These are not requirements, just bonus points. The rest will come for the lady who wants to show me there's something behind that pretty smile and makeup.

    I am not a man who chases or harasses. no equals no equals no, whether you mean it or not. I am on my life's path and you are welcome to join in if you care, challenge me if you dare, and contribute if you want to share. May the odds be ever in your favor. AND WHATEVER YOU DO, HAVE FUN AND A GOOD DAY... AND MAYBE A VINO.
    Noted, this is very long. I give fair warning at the beginning and try to keep it entertaining. Also, much of the space is for the bonus round. I stick to it too. If they aren't willing to play and just message me with "hi, liked your profile bla bla bla" and try to side-step it, I point them back to my profile (playfully) and tell them they could be a super-horny super-model and would still need to play the game if they want to get to know me.
    It's working great, 3 online approaches from women in the last week (without me saying hi or winking or even viewing their profiles), and 10 responses from my own approaches which usually go like:
    Hi! I really like your profile. Very ...(enter personalized opinion here)... I likes! I'd like to get to know more about you, so if you're ... (cool, awesome, hip, fun).... enough, check out the game in my profile and maybe I'll hear back from you.
    Either way, if you see someone who doesn't have a smile, give them one of yours! It's quite lovely.
    Take care and have a good day!
    The bonus round is both a qualifier and an opportunity for her to comment on those points. For example, the cuddling points often get a decent comment - often filled with innuendo - which opens the door (if she hasn't already) to talking about spooning and maybe throw in a few other more intimate concepts in a playful way. It also itemizes what I might find important: Note how fancy career is less than being a fan of thundercats and can also be exceeded by a woman who owns 3 or more pairs of yoga pants. Each reflects some values I find important, gives them things to write about right away, and in a way puts us on even playing ground in an environment where the man often needs to 'prove' he's not dangerous to meet in public.

    Comments welcome.


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