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  • 1 Post By ct1006
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Thread: Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

  1. #1
    28ntrying is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

    So here is the scoop. I am tired of getting into this platonic hell with woman. I "respect" them to much at first to make a bold move and that puts me in the "friend zone". There is this one girl in general right now that I really want to date.

    I tend to be an alpha around other guys. Always leading, managing, ect. But when it comes to girls, i fall into that "nice guy" place.

    I have known this girl for a few years, I dated a friend of her. About 18 months ago me and her friend broke up. I had other things going on in my life and she was there to talk to me and stuff. At first it was a friendship and I was fine with that. She was in a relationship.

    About 6 months ago, she was having problems with her boyfriend. She started to talk to me more. Saying things like she wish she met me before her boyfriend, how I am a perfect guy, ect. Obviously exploring the idea of a relationship with me. At first I was confused because I thought we were just friends. I let myself get sucked into thinking about actually dating her. She is respectful, dedicated to the man she is with, makes good money, hot, ect. So I caved in and started showing those feelings back to her. She was still in a relationship. I even had a chance to sexually advance things. She was drunk, and still technically with her man, so I did not do so.

    Her and the boyfriend worked things out, she pushed me away. I am sure it was because I did not pursue anything right away so her attraction for me faded. I will admit I was a bitch about the whole thing while trying to still be her friend. Mood swings, okay one minute with her and then not the next. Made things very ackward, and even confessed I fell in love with her, which she obviously did not feel the same way.

    We still talked all of the time. I turned into a crying little girl about stuff. Totally unattractive, not funny, ect. I was only like this through texts, or major mode of conversation. I confessed every little feeling, thought, making myself a mess of an open book.

    I started to get out of that rut. We have been talking about what happened, how i felt, things i have said in the last few months that were not right. I no longer get those jealousy feelings and such with her. I am back to my normal self.

    Now her current boyfriend really is not dedicated to her. She questions if the relationship will work. She doesn't see it, but I am confident that he constantly sleeps around on her. It is just a matter of time before sh1t hits the fan.

    After this long story, I guess i need to know if there is any hope for me to repair the damages, move on, and be able to make my move with her once she is ready to date again. I have been working on both my physical appearance(working out, dressing better, ect), and the way I talk and interact with woman. Being more flirty and touching. But I fear that when the time comes and she is ready, I will still be that friend. I am not a challenge for her at all.

    Advice, suggestions, reassuring me I was stupid, I will accept it all!

  2. #2
    ct1006 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

    The only logical thing to me seems to be going out and meeting new people or meet new people through friends. As soon as you meet other girls, you're going to completely forget about this one. Thing is...she has a boyfriend that she is not leaving anytime soon. If she was, she would have done so already. You don't want to mess with a girl in such an emotionally unstable state. Seems like she doesn't know what she wants and she's only going to you to vent her frustrations. In reality her feelings are keeping her attached to this guy, not you my friend. There's nothing you can do in short of trying boyfriend destroying techniques on her, which im not too keen about personally. In my experience, girls who jump from boyfriend to boyfriend seem very sketch. Who's to say that it won't happen with you.

    Anyways, if you really think this girl is the ONE, try keeping your distance from her for a while. If she comes around one day saying that she's single and ready to have fun, GREAT. If not, then IT'S OKAY, now you know the qualities that you want in a girl. You may have had a chance if you played it cool, but you wore your heart on your sleeve too early. In the meantime, keep working on being a better you and just have fun.

    I'm in a situation where I don't really know the girl's intentions anymore so now I'm keeping my distance and seeing where that will lead. Basically, if something happens, it'll happen. If not, don't get too emotionally invested it will just mess with you in the long run.

  3. #3
    hyp
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    Default Re: Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

    She started to talk to me more. Saying things like she wish she met me before her boyfriend, how I am a perfect guy, ect

    this sounds genuine, however this is a strategy in which women also use to keep the guy around by throwing him a bone


    She was drunk, and still technically with her man, so I did not do so.

    morals here but it depends how "good" you are (i would've done the same though - if she cheats once she'll do it again, especially if she cheats with you), sounds like you could've escalated successfully though


    Her and the boyfriend worked things out, she pushed me away.

    is she even worth keeping around??? if you get in a relationship how loyal do you think she'll be

    even confessed I fell in love with her

    wrong move, the chase is over (if there was one), telling tends to put women off, showing on the other hand is more "Sweet" but can have the same effect if she's not ready to accept you


    my advice would be, see other women on an open relationship, keep improving yourself as you're doing, and don't fall to your knees at every complement she gives

    CT gives some solid advice, if you want try the BF destroyer techniques (i'm also not a fan of playing with peoples relationships --> it'll come back to bite you in the a$$)

    whether you succeed or learn, you come out on top

  4. #4
    28ntrying is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

    Thank you for the advice guys.

    How would one suggest me creating distance while not just leaving her life? We are still good friends after all of this, I dont want to just throw that out of the window. We are pretty much in contact from good morning to goodnite. I have mentioned to her during this that I think I need my space for a little while, each time she got worried saying i just cant stop being her friend. I am pretty sure she considers me her closest friend she has.

    Maybe me going out and pursuing other girls more would create this distance as a side effect?

    I wouldnt say I think she is the one, but I still would like a chance to find out.

  5. #5
    28ntrying is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

    One more things, I do not want to play the boyfriend destroyer card. I feel he is doing a good enough job at that right now. Also I dont mess with people that way. It is against what i beleive.

  6. #6
    hyp
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    Default Re: Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

    [QUOTE=28ntrying;6850 7]Thank you for the advice guys.

    We are pretty much in contact from good morning to goodnite. I have mentioned to her during this that I think I need my space for a little while, each time she got worried saying i just cant stop being her friend.
    space the communication out, don't reply every 1min or 5mins, try 1hr - 5hrs each text, if you reply instantly she'll sense the difference


    Maybe me going out and pursuing other girls more would create this distance as a side effect?
    it would make her understand that you're not going to wait around for her, which you shouldn't be doing in the first place
    ;;on the other hand she's already in a relationship and has the potential to shrug you off
    I wouldnt say I think she is the one, but I still would like a chance to find out.
    keep her on the side then along with others the answer will come

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  8. #8
    photog123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

    I really understand where you are coming from. I am in a very similar situation. I have been put in the friend zone by this woman I have known for two years. She is still attached to her old man even though he is abusive (although she moved out on her own) I am now pulling back all forms of contact with her (just started) and will see where it goes... I have the same fear though, will this push her away? I guess it is better to know one way or the other..

  9. #9
    28ntrying is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Deep Friend Zone, alpha around males, beta around woman.

    Just a little update: We talked about what happened in the past and stuff. Something I ideally didn't want to do, but she still "knew" I had some sort of feelings for her left. Basicly I told her I need my space if I am to continue even being her friend. We haven't really spoken in a few days. Said happy thanksgiving texts to each other but that is it.

    I am not sure if this will allow me to ever escalate anything, but there was no other way for it to go. at least it will help me get my mind off her as much so I can start fully gaming others


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