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  1. #1
    zoot4zoot is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She's responding to my texts but ignoring my asking her to hang out??

    Little background info:

    Cute girl, 7/10, is a best friend of one of my male best friends (friendzoned). The three of us got very drunk a couple weekends ago and she and I ended having sex. My friend disapproved and I felt pretty guilty but I like the girl and she obviously liked me so we cautiously continued communicating. Since then, she has been very flirtatious, asked me to hang out a couple times, told me I'm cute for various reasons, continuously tweets romantic I-really-like-somebody messages, texts me a lot, etc. I've built very solid rapport (we have a ton of inside jokes and common interests and we joke around sexually pretty often).

    So I hang out with her two days ago (she asked me this time, so she's asked me to hang out once more than I've asked her so far for a total of 3 hangouts) and it seems to go okay. Being very concerned about not having my friend's blessing, I kept our interactions short of kissing even though I was getting a million IOIs. So the furthest we go is lying in her bed (she's in a dorm and has roommates so no opportunity for hanky panky) resting against each other, playing with each other's hair, playfully touching each other's faces, she calls me cute, etc. I tell her that the whole secrecy aspect of our hanging out is uncomfortable to which she agrees, and that I will clear it up with my friend the next day, to which she also responds positively. She texts me after I get home that "I really love lying in bed and talking to you and good luck with your guys' talk".

    I talk to my bro about it, get his okay, and I figure everything is golden. Unfortunately I've run into a hiccup. So our most recent exchange has gone like this:

    [talking about our busy schedules today]

    Her: Aw man, I bet you're really tired. Well at least tomorrow you can rest to heart's content [shitload of iphone emoji smilies] And shit, I got a D on my last anthro midterm

    Me: Hahaha you always crack me up with those iphone smilies. You getting all excited [when we hung out] explaining them to me was way too cute. And don't even sweat it, a D is totally recoverable. I got a D on my first chem midterm last quarter and I pulled an A in the class so I'm sure you could pull the same comeback. Also, let's finally figure out a time to teach you guitar! [she'd been asking me to teach for a few weeks] How's your long weekend looking?

    Her: Blehh, I'm not too worried I just thought I'd done better on it. Oh that's right it's a 4 day weekend!!! Oh you know, the usual, lots of getting high and booze <3

    Me: Excellent, then how about we set aside some time on Saturday around 4 to get real musical? And right on, nothin worse than dwelling on a test score during a long break.

    Her: Haha yeah you're right. How's your studying coming along?

    ---


    So yeah, she very blatantly and uncharacteristically ignored the invitation to hang out. I don't think I was too flirtatious as I've definitely been a lot more flirty in past communications with her, so I can't imagine that weirded her out. Where'd I go wrong with this? I've already f-closed her so I figured this wouldn't be difficult, especially since I've gotten my friend's blessing.

    And what should I do next? Should I neg her out for selectively ignoring a once-in-a-lifetime chance to learn from her friendly neighborhood guitar master? Or should I freeze her out?

    Thanks a lot, guys.

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She's responding to my texts but ignoring my asking her to hang out??

    I wouldn't worry about it too much - I know lots of girls like this and to be honest I have done it myself when a girl has asked to hook up. Just hit her up again at another time with absolute confidence.

    I get a little annoyed at girls not responding to a specific question or offer and so I end up being persistent and will raise it again even if I dont get an answer: 'so saturday, I'll meet you here at 4pm ok' I start arranging it anyway.

    Girls aren't as fact orientated as men so its good you are talking about music and more emotional connections. She's into you obviously but maybe there's a reason she got a D in her studies. You may have to re-inforce the date details as she might be forgetful or flightly...a bit of a dreamer if you know what I mean. Or she may just not want any commitments pressured on her 'schedule' and other 'partying plans'.

  3. #3
    zoot4zoot is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She's responding to my texts but ignoring my asking her to hang out??

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    I wouldn't worry about it too much - I know lots of girls like this and to be honest I have done it myself when a girl has asked to hook up. Just hit her up again at another time with absolute confidence.

    I get a little annoyed at girls not responding to a specific question or offer and so I end up being persistent and will raise it again even if I dont get an answer: 'so saturday, I'll meet you here at 4pm ok' I start arranging it anyway.

    Girls aren't as fact orientated as men so its good you are talking about music and more emotional connections. She's into you obviously but maybe there's a reason she got a D in her studies. You may have to re-inforce the date details as she might be forgetful or flightly...a bit of a dreamer if you know what I mean. Or she may just not want any commitments pressured on her 'schedule' and other 'partying plans'.
    Really helpful response, man, much appreciated. I'll definitely just bring it up again and not take it as a "this one's fucked... next!". However, until then, should I text her back? It seems like I'd be kinda penalizing her or something if I just left her question hanging. Or did you mean that my next text should be that second attempt at organizing a meet?

  4. #4
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    topgunningit is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She's responding to my texts but ignoring my asking her to hang out??

    you in bed with a girl and you play with each other the whole time? What? Did you at least kiss her?

    Also, do not have long text messages. Save those long text for when you meet and having conversation. There is a formula for successful relationships: Women talk more than men, women show more interest in men, etc etc.

    Next time do a little less talking and more physical. Show her that you find her beautiful and you are sexually attracted to her and reduce your talking time to that of a jock.

    T-Mal aka T-Mack has a text message bible \ guide around here search the forum.
    ------------------------------------

  5. #5
    zoot4zoot is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She's responding to my texts but ignoring my asking her to hang out??

    Quote Originally Posted by topgunningit View Post
    you in bed with a girl and you play with each other the whole time? What? Did you at least kiss her?

    Also, do not have long text messages. Save those long text for when you meet and having conversation. There is a formula for successful relationships: Women talk more than men, women show more interest in men, etc etc.

    Next time do a little less talking and more physical. Show her that you find her beautiful and you are sexual attracted to her and reduce your talking time to that of a jock.
    Nope, I didn't kiss her even though I counted several occasions when I could have. I was concerned about our mutual best friend's feelings and it felt weird to sneak around (he had previously made it clear that the idea of her and I hanging out made him uncomfortable) and do pretty much the opposite of what he wanted at the time without getting some kind of okay from him. I mean, he's my best friend after all, and I'd have hated to risk the friendship again over some chick.

    But you're right, I've definitely let the texts get too long, which I'll be sure to correct in future interactions. Again, I appreciate the advice man.


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