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Thread: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

  1. #1
    ak3ria is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    Hey Guys,

    Only just found this site but the guides i've read are good, a real good resource regardless of your interpersonal skill set.

    So a bit background about me and this current situation.

    Me: I guess i've been fairly lucky in the past as I haven't needed to put much effort in to get girls to like me. However, my last two relationships have been long term and fairly serious so i feel like i've kinda lost 'my game' (even though whatever game i had was probably under developed / utilised).

    So, i've come to you guys for help, advice and in the hope that my experience is useful to some of you.

    The Situation: Last week i was at a gig with a few mates. Gig was really good, after the gig went to a bar / club. Was kinda in godmode (i had been drinking quite a bit *1) and just talking / dancing with girls and trying to be a good wingbro to my bro who's just come out of a long term relationship.

    Night is coming to an end, i haven't really found anyone I personally want to pursue for myself when i catchs a glimpse of this 9/10hottie standing of the edge of dance floor. Still in godmode i go over and say "Hey, I thought you were cute so I thought i'd come over and say Hi". She smiled etc... clearly happy she had been approached. I looked behind her and noticed her friend was chatting to this other guy and she was alone, maybe i should of noticed before - but like i say, i was quite drunk.) So within about 30seconds I held her and kinda pulled her towards the dance floor saying come dance. She just wanted to talk so we talked for about 3minutes about kinda boring stuff (where we live / work / hang out / about the gig we'd both been too) - honestly, i don't think my 'chat' was very good but i did say, "So we should go for a drink next week and get to know each other properly... " She was like, "okay, yeah that would be good let me take your number..." I gave her my number and then, she dials mine / 1rings - so i've got hers.... I tell her it was good to meet her, kiss her on the cheek and tell her i need to go check on my friends (they were more drunk than me and they had work the next day)..

    *1 - broTip : It's fine to pick up girls if you've been drinking, but don't try to pick up girls if you're drunk. Know you're limits.

    And that's where this text convo picks up... (well done and thanks for making it this far)

    The text conversation can be seen at the imgur album below - mods, if this is against the rules please increase the file upload quota so i can upload my .png screen grabs.

    imgur.com/a/K6pRx#0

    She's replying within a 1-2 hr of me texting, and i've been taking like 5hrs+ to reply. Not cos i don't know what to say etc.... just because i don't know?!? It's weird. The last text I received was last night 20:00'ish and i haven't replied yet - WTF!

    I feel like the convo is a bit dry / needs livening up a bit. Sometimes I read through and think "god she's a bit dull", but then again I think i could be doing a lot more to help the situation.... and that's where you guys come in....

    Let me know what you think... good points / bad points ... where i should go from here.... I've nailed the date within about 90seconds of meeting her but i know i shouldn't just cool off there....

    So guys, Let me know what you think...

    Ak

  2. #2
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    "...dinks then dinner..."

    Nice frame. Sexualizes the interaction without being wierd. Sets you up nicely to bounce back to her place after drinks - or even to DSQ her by suggesting you go to a restaurant after drinks and wait for her to invite you if you haven't logged enough time with her.

    "...well I know where you live..."

    A little creepy, also your qualifying yourself to her.
    She pushes with: you don't know me
    Then you chase with: actually I do, here's why

    "...30seconds that I like you..."

    Telegraphing too much interest, neg her in the next line or attraction will drop a bit

    "...what r u doing this weekend..."

    This would have been good if you didn't qualify yourself and show interest right before it.

    "...I cooked them dinner..."

    And boom! You're back. She throws out "another late night?" which is basically her saying "do you do anything else but party - wow me." and you give a good response.

    "...neither afford nor need..."

    There's a NLP threshold mover in here somewhere... maybe something like "yeah but if you WANT something it's gonna be on your mind all day until you get it. Distracting you, making you miss red lights in traffic, making you gaze out the window at work, keeping you up at night and consuming your thoughts until there's nothing you can think about but those pink strappy shoes" - probly better in person tho

    "...I went runnin too..."

    Decent, I'd go with "I was out running near..." so that you're focusing on where you were running (implied rapport) rather than telling her that you also run (reaching for rapport)

    "...is a bit hilly..."

    Agreeing is not stimulating. Try something like "tch! If you think that's hilly, you should try [insert dhv spike about some famous mountain you've run on - but make it have a funny/embarassing ending so it doesn't sound like bragging]

    "...come try it with me sometime..."

    Ehhh, this could come off as needy

    "..I work blah blah, you work in digital...?"

    This is anywhere between an ioi and just polite conversation. I'd suggest teasing her about her work, be reidiculously excited about and interested in the most mundane tasks involved in her job, or say you have a beef with her company because you were looking at a bilboard advertisement for them and a seagull flew up and stole your hotdog, etc


    Generally good texting, just watch out not to telegraph too much interest too soon. You're transitioning well and providing enough detail to keep it engaging. Try increasing the multi-threadding and subtle DHV spikes. Also try teasing her more and see how it goes - but don't over-neg in a text.

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-talk-gi...html#post61448
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  3. #3
    ak3ria is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    Awesome, many thanks for the reply and pointers.

    I've read them through and they totally make sense. There's a good few things I should take into consideration in future.

    Before you replied to my original post I sent a reply to her It's been almost 24hrs since she txt me so I thought i really should. As usual, she replied in just over the hr (it's almost too obvious she's waiting) Here's the latest :

    imgur.com/f4WKx

    I totally knew she hadn't remembered my name (*mental note to always sign the initial text) and that's why I signed this reply with my first initial. (I initialed rather than signed to help jog her memory rather than just tell her - subtle but works? or waste of thought process?)

    Questions:
    1. Is this text too long? To me, it feels okay and natural - but that's not to say it's correct. I've read quite a few posts saying keep text length to a minimum but is that just until you agree to go on a date?

    2. "i agree to some stupid things under the influence..." meaning the marathon or meeting with me? either way - playful of regretful? Do you think she's pissed that it's taking me long to reply compared to her?

    - the facebook thing?
    weird thing to ask? no? ... In all honesty I did search for 5mins on fb with no result. No big deal. I actually did find her on another service (damn me to hell!) It was more just to remember what she looked like. I'm guessing she's had trouble on fb before / ex boyfriend etc?? Thoughts?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    Quote Originally Posted by ak3ria View Post
    I totally knew she hadn't remembered my name (*mental note to always sign the initial text) and that's why I signed this reply with my first initial. (I initialed rather than signed to help jog her memory rather than just tell her - subtle but works? or waste of thought process?)

    Nah, it works.

    Questions:
    1. Is this text too long? To me, it feels okay and natural - but that's not to say it's correct. I've read quite a few posts saying keep text length to a minimum but is that just until you agree to go on a date?

    As long as yours and hers are about the same length you should be good - which they are

    2. "i agree to some stupid things under the influence..." meaning the marathon or meeting with me? either way - playful of regretful? It works because it's vague, she won't know for sure if you mean either or something entirely different. Do you think she's pissed that it's taking me long to reply compared to her?

    Possibly, but I wouldn't worry about it. Even anger is an emotion you can work with in game

    - the facebook thing?
    weird thing to ask? no? It's fine, as long as you don't get fixated on it by mentioning it over and over again, there's no problem ... In all honesty I did search for 5mins on fb with no result. No big deal. I actually did find her on another service (damn me to hell!) It was more just to remember what she looked like. I'm guessing she's had trouble on fb before / ex boyfriend etc?? Maybe, probably not a big deal tho Thoughts?

    30characters30303030 303030303030
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  5. #5
    ak3ria is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    Thanks again for your reply..

    Apologies if i was unclear but "2. "i agree to some stupid things under the influence..." meaning the marathon or meeting with me? either way - playful of regretful? It works because it's vague, she won't know for sure if you mean either or something entirely different."

    - It was her being vague, not me.

    Oh crap... I think I'm getting worse at this - just sent this while rushing to the gym.

    "So maybe I did try searching for "Name she put in phone" on fb - I was gonna share some "gig name" photos with you. Dead end so thought it can wait until Wednesday xx "

    [*NB* - she put a kinda vague name in my phone *first name* *location we met* *first letter of surname*]

    Kinda dead end no?

    Is this one dead and buried / should I just use this one as an example of what I'm starting with / lessons to learn?



    **update**
    ... And like clockwork she replies at just over an hour later.

    Her: "Oh no, you didn't fall for the fake name did you? Doh, silly! I shall look forward to seeing them. So where are you working currently? x x "

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    Quote Originally Posted by ak3ria View Post
    Is this one dead and buried / should I just use this one as an example of what I'm starting with / lessons to learn?



    **update**
    ... And like clockwork she replies at just over an hour later.

    Her: "Oh no, you didn't fall for the fake name did you? Doh, silly! I shall look forward to seeing them. So where are you working currently? x x "
    Actually that "I agree to things when drunk" thing she said you could reply:


    "Drunk words are sober wishes "


    I think your fb comment isn't necessarily a dead end. Definitely something to stack away from tho.

    As for her last text "fake name... where you work" if it was me I'd start steering it to reduce the texting and get it to the hang-out.

    "slow down there missy if you keep up this chattiness we won't have any content for our awkward gettin-to-know you conversation at [dinner/coffee/drinks/whatev]"
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  7. #7
    ak3ria is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    Thanks again for your input, it's much appreciated. If others feel they have stuff to add to what Autismus is saying - please do speak up!

    Quote Originally Posted by Autismus View Post
    Actually that "I agree to things when drunk" thing she said you could reply:


    "Drunk words are sober wishes "
    Okay, that is pretty good! It's not really a me thing to say though? as in i would regard that as kinda cheesy and feel the girl would think that too? maybe it's the difference between English and American girls? or maybe it's just me - any brit guys out there?


    I think your fb comment isn't necessarily a dead end. Definitely something to stack away from tho.

    As for her last text "fake name... where you work" if it was me I'd start steering it to reduce the texting and get it to the hang-out. yeah, totally agree. We're hanging out tomorrow evening so it's going to come around soon enough. I get the feeling she's just trying to find out a bit more about me as like i said in my OP our first interaction can't of lasted more than 5minutes and i was quite drunk.

    "slow down there missy if you keep up this chattiness we won't have any content for our awkward gettin-to-know you conversation at [dinner/coffee/drinks/whatev]" - yeah, sounds good, but are you sure i should mention 'awkward' isn't this implying that i already know it's going to be awkward (negative)? - I want her to feel really comfortable about meeting a guy she knows nothing about after all!
    I hope you take my questions as questions rather than criticism. A good student is always going to ask his teacher questions As I say your input is valued and appreciated.

    This is what i've currently got written but NOT sent:

    "Okay then mystery girl, if that's how you want to play it... I'm gonna have to see some I.D before I even think about buying you a drink xx"

    - I want to send relatively soon, so quick feedback would be great if possible.

    With this text i'm trying to be playful and kinda neg too - just to maybe counter some of my 'over interested' previous texts.

    Thoughts?

  8. #8
    ak3ria is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    update : I sent it (14:38) ... My money is on her reply coming in at 15:46.

  9. #9
    ak3ria is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    She's playing me still no reply.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Text help needed: Is she boring or is it just me?

    Stop getting needy man... take a break from waiting for her texts. Nothing good happens to your mental state when u get hung up on one chick's reply time. Just be laid back... relax ... meet more women in the meantime!

    And no one else really needs to reply because Autismus advice is totally solid. He has it covered man.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
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