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  1. #1
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Critique this conversation please

    So this conversation ended up being two threaded (if you don't know...it means we were having two sets of texts at one time with different subject matter) One was dealing with her gmas death, which I did a decent job of conveying empathy and comfort, but its Fluff that doesn't need included here.

    Me: Congratulations... (an opener I have been experimenting with)

    Her: ?? (a few hours later but I was asleep)

    Me: Well I was going to send you a random drunk text but I'm sober now. (when I woke up...about the same response time difference as her though)

    Her: Hahaha I was asleep

    Me: At nite? Stephanie's don't do that. when are you free, I want to go out this week

    Her: Mm, I'm off this weekend, sat and sunday. I'm not sure what my plans are yet though

    Me: Eh, never mind some other time

    Her: Okay, we can go out sometime soon : )

    Me: Oh, we can huh? I'll just be sitting around waiting for the day : P

    Her: Haha Oh I KNOW you will be ; )

    Me: You are pretty sure of yourself there killer : D

    Her: You know it ;p

    Me: Hehe, talk to you later buddy, I need to go pick up my brothers.


    I ended it abruptly because I actually did have to go do sh1t, but I noticed things like, let me see what my plans are, and "we can go out soon". It seems the frame is set with her in control, and I'm trying somewhat to reverse this, but its practice at this point with the rapport we have I'm just fine with however it goes. We have been on one date before and hung out a few other times.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  2. #2
    mysterioustoker is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Critique this please

    i dont think shes being that controlling. im not that experienced but i think you should be worried more about whether or not shes flirting back and displaying IOIs, not about whos controlling the conversation

  3. #3
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Critique this please

    Quote Originally Posted by mysterioustoker View Post
    i dont think shes being that controlling. im not that experienced but i think you should be worried more about whether or not shes flirting back and displaying IOIs, not about whos controlling the conversation
    I'm not trying to control the conversation, I am trying to keep her on her toes a bit more. We are always laughing and flirting when we text, or are in person, but I'm trying to, I don't even know how to word it, I guess reverse the interaction a bit to get her chasing me some. I know its difficult, but I'm not really worried about succeeding or failing but rather how to pull myself out of this situation and really make her WANT to come spend time with me.

    Hmm, perhaps build some attraction.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  4. #4
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Critique this conversation please

    Quote Originally Posted by Blistex View Post
    So this conversation ended up being two threaded (if you don't know...it means we were having two sets of texts at one time with different subject matter) One was dealing with her gmas death, which I did a decent job of conveying empathy and comfort, but its Fluff that doesn't need included here.

    Me: Congratulations... (an opener I have been experimenting with)

    Her: ?? (a few hours later but I was asleep)

    Me: Well I was going to send you a random drunk text but I'm sober now. (when I woke up...about the same response time difference as her though)

    Her: Hahaha I was asleep

    Me: At nite? Stephanie's don't do that. when are you free, I want to go out this week

    Her: Mm, I'm off this weekend, sat and sunday. I'm not sure what my plans are yet though

    Me: Eh, never mind some other time

    Her: Okay, we can go out sometime soon : )

    Me: Oh, we can huh? I'll just be sitting around waiting for the day : P

    Her: Haha Oh I KNOW you will be ; )

    Me: You are pretty sure of yourself there killer : D

    Her: You know it ;p

    Me: Hehe, talk to you later buddy, I need to go pick up my brothers.


    I ended it abruptly because I actually did have to go do sh1t, but I noticed things like, let me see what my plans are, and "we can go out soon". It seems the frame is set with her in control, and I'm trying somewhat to reverse this, but its practice at this point with the rapport we have I'm just fine with however it goes. We have been on one date before and hung out a few other times.
    Hey man, I think you did quite well. It would help to have some background as to how you know this girl, how long you've been talking etc. But overall from what I can tell is that you are keeping yourself from showing TOO MUCH interest. Which is good. I like the way how you ended the convo and said some other time. It showed her you are not desperate in any way shape or form.

  5. #5
    Cruze29 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Critique this conversation please

    hey guys. how in the heck do I post a question? It won't let me start a thread. I have the same kind of question you have and I definitely need a critique and what to do next. here it is:

    Ok, so I met this chick (HB8) at a church function. She was pretty cool. I was able to keep the conversation going, and by the end of the night I gave her phone and she placed her # in it. When I was saying bye to everyone I noticed out of the corner of my eye she was looking to see if I was going to come up to her or not. It is important to know that I am going to be buying something from her for x-mas present for a family member. Of course, she played it off and said yeah, give me a call so I can help you with that. Whatever.

    ok, so here's what I texted the next day (monday) into today (tuesday): I know I screwed up, so I'm asking for both pointers and how I might can regain this convo back.

    (Monday)
    Me:Hey goofball hope you're bringing some smiles to those kids of urs today

    Her: I'm trying

    Me: I'm sure you did. combine your counseling skills with ur caring personlit, lil bit of yr neerdy side, and top it off w/a cute smile and bam, you got it just watch out for the gusy with bpd cuz they might think you like them. btw, how the gangsta pics come out?

    Her: aw, you're sweet!, what's bpd?

    Tuesday
    Me:wow, that's my l8est response yet. i expect better from you the next time. lol thx for comp. i put too much sugar in my tea in the morning so it must have carried over into last night bpd is borderline personality disorder. pretty interesting diangosis, you use dbt to treat. great therapy. Might help you with some of ur kids.

    her: had m y soccer playoffs last night, so i texted you when i finished!

    me: lol, I knew you had a game. I was actually talking about me needing to get better @ texting people back

    her: oh, ok

    me: howd playoffs go

    her:great!!we won!! i scored the first game

    me: awesome. look at you . go a head w/ur bad self. didnt konw I met a star. im gonna have to get an autograph.

    her: my autograph is worth a lot, just sayin...

    me: is it now? lets role play. I know, im way too much fun. pretend ur in front of a news crew and discussing this topic. what 3 qualities would you say, other than your physical appearance, makes that true?

    I know I wrote a ton, but i wanted you to see what's going through my brain. I know I messed up, and I'm pretty sure I should have turned that last statement into a meeting, which is what I had originally, but... what can I say. I started thinking about it too much. Is there anyway to recover from this, bc she never responded to this last text?

  6. #6
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Critique this conversation please

    Well, I have known her for a long time, we usually text a few times a week and it usually lasts the whole day. We have hung out before and what not, but she is usually pretty busy and we don't have much time to get together.

    Our texts are sometimes dry, but we always end up getting flirty and just have fun conversation. When we ARE together its usually light and fun (except the last time she wanted to come to a mutual friend's halloween party). She texted me like 4 times on her way there, came and found me as soon as she got there and gave me a hug, but I was sitting in between two hotties so she chilled for a few and left the room. At the party I chilled with her for a few minutes, but for the most part I was just running around having fun.

    Before she left she tracked me down, I pulled her in for the kiss in front of everyone, she smiled and leaned in, then i stopped it and walked away. She texted me on her way out of course. About a week later she initiated conversation with me, I kept it light fun and flirty (as you should ALWAYS do), then with the next interaction, it was the one mentioned above.

    As I said though, it seems I'm sitting in her frame. I did manage to build some attraction back at the party, but its kind of the same issue. We have been talking for quite a while.

    I can tell from being around her that she likes me. She is always receptive to my Kino, even if it is overtly sexual. For some reason though, she is reluctant to spend time with me.

    Now this could be unrelated, but the girls around here have been talking to each other about my seductions, and I'm not sure if it has any bearing, but she doesn't seem to want to spend time alone with me. Then again, she could just be busy.

    I know its long, but you did ask for background info
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  7. #7
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Critique this conversation please

    Quote Originally Posted by Cruze29 View Post
    (Monday)
    This is a good opener, I assume you are not talking about her personal children though. It is okay to ask a bit about a person's kids when you are getting to know each other, but you need to keep them out of it in the initial stages, it is only after SHE is willing to accept you into her life that the children become an issue.

    Me:Hey goofball hope you're bringing some smiles to those kids of urs today

    Her: I'm trying

    This text is just too damn long. You are complimenting her without her earning it. You are basically giving her WAY too much validation, there is no challenge for her. Usually you don't want a super long text like that, break it up a bit.
    Me: I'm sure you did. combine your counseling skills with ur caring personlit, lil bit of yr neerdy side, and top it off w/a cute smile and bam, you got it just watch out for the gusy with bpd cuz they might think you like them. btw, how the gangsta pics come out?

    She is saying thanks for the compliment, and she took your hook, which was the bpd (i didn't know what that was either). You want to use hooks that illicit positive emotion, or a more invested response.

    Her: aw, you're sweet!, what's bpd?

    Tuesday

    Informative, teaching her something, but once again too long. You also offered an excuse for what you said. Unless it was hurtful or offensive, why would you apologize or make excuses?

    Me:wow, that's my l8est response yet. i expect better from you the next time. lol thx for comp. i put too much sugar in my tea in the morning so it must have carried over into last night bpd is borderline personality disorder. pretty interesting diangosis, you use dbt to treat. great therapy. Might help you with some of ur kids.

    These are mostly Fluff I
    her: had m y soccer playoffs last night, so i texted you when i finished!

    me: lol, I knew you had a game. I was actually talking about me needing to get better @ texting people back

    her: oh, ok

    me: howd playoffs go

    her:great!!we won!! i scored the first game
    - But she gave you a hook to use.

    This is pretty good I think, should have made her laugh a bit and feel good, plus the autograph can be used as a hook.
    me: awesome. look at you . go a head w/ur bad self. didnt konw I met a star. im gonna have to get an autograph.

    She jokes back, you have done nothing but pull so far. I would have used this text as a chance to push, something like "it sure is, exactly the value of a meal. I guess that means you are paying when we go out :P"

    her: my autograph is worth a lot, just sayin...

    This text is garbage. You are asking her to qualify herself to you, but you havn't really done much to generate attraction at this point. Qualification works by looking through initial attraction and showing you have standards. Just because a woman likes you, doesn't mean that your personalities, interests, goals and such match up to something malleable. This shows to a woman you are looking for a deeper connection, you have not came far enough yet to use something like this with this particular woman. Unless you are doing cocky-funny right, bragging on yourself looks bad, you want other people to dhv FOR you. My guess is that text made you look like a total d1ck. You can recover I'm sure, but I can't help you do it.
    me: is it now? lets role play. I know, im way too much fun. pretend ur in front of a news crew and discussing this topic. what 3 qualities would you say, other than your physical appearance, makes that true?
    Now go make your own thread lol.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple


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