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Thread: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

  1. #1
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Lightbulb RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    We are going to talk a little bit about girls and their headspace. Well, about particular girls. You know Ė that one that you just cant quite figure out? The one that gives you so many mixed signals?

    This isnít full of solutions as much as it is full of explanations.

    Girls, particularly the confident ones that mess with your head a bit, crave validation and control. If youíre a confident guy, your validation is going to be more important to them. For a girl, if she can have you wrapped around her finger, it gives her the satisfaction of knowing she can have you without actually sleeping with you.

    Girls do this all the time. Theyíll respond to texts. Theyíll be friendly when you see them, theyíll give you IOIs, they seem totally receptive, thenÖ when you try to invite them out. Nothing. Ever. Or they flake, horribly.

    Best I can try to explain, youíre borderline friend zoned, but not fully. She may see you as a sexual threat, but not one sheís interested enough in to pursue.

    Fixing this comes down to classic game technique. Somehow or another, you gotta raise your value. disqualify them, change the frame and get them to pursue you. Your value has to be higher, period.

    So, lets go back to this, whatís going on inside her head? The answer is simple again, validation. Girls crave it, and girls like this rely on it. They get it from guys all the time. It gives them an ego boost. Especailly if you are a high value male and your game is fairly good, sheís essentially gaming you just enough to keep you in the wings. Doing so gives her validation, control, self esteem satisfaction. If you had no value and were like every other sap trying to just hit on her, she wouldnít care.

    There is always another similar explanation. Either sheís got a boyfriend, or is kinda seeing someone but its not totally serious. The validation rules still apply. Even if she has said no or hasnít brought up the boyfriend, she would keep you around just enough to know she could have more, even if she didnít want more.

    Think of it this way, lets say you could have anyone you wanted. If a 3 and 4 was hitting on you, it means nothing. You know they want you. But what about that cute 8.5 thatís totally fun and successful youíre kinda friends with. Maybe you donít want to sleep with her, but her hitting on you would mean a lot more to you than the 3. That ego boost we get from getting numbers, dates, closing, etc. Its validation. Actually a lot of PUAs get addicted to it, which is another topic entirely and not exactly healthy. Your validation should come from knowing what you have, not from others affirming you.

    First, in reality, you canít get every girl. Some of these thereís just nothing you can do. Thatís ok.

    I recently moved back to Minneapolis after 4 years in Florida. This girl I dated 4 years ago texted me the night I got back. Since then, 3 months, I have not been able to get her out once to meet. She texts me, flirts, plays, she says im prettier than her (sh1t test), but I cannot get her out. At some point it doesnít matter, its just for fun anyway. I get her, I get what sheís doing, and even if itís a little distraction Iím enjoying it just for that.

    The main take away, donít invest in these girls too much. Its just what they do, enjoy the games for game sake, have fun with it, use it as practice, but keep having fun and focus on others.

    Now, if you really want to attack this, it involves some fundamentally strong game. Iím going to refer you to my post on avoiding friend zone, I have links there to disqualifiers and Kino as well which are incredibly important, read on.

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up-women/16365-rb-avoiding-friend-zone.html
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  2. #2
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    Default Re: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    Love it Red!

    I too have a similar thing with this girl i know.

    She ioi's me but never has time to hang. I neg her, remain confident, see other girls (which she knows about). She ups the IOI's when i do this but gets flakey all over again at the suggestion of a meetup. I think its a "player" mentality at work (minus the sex). Getting attention is addictive ... just like u said... they see an alpha, get him to pay attention to them and they're done... mission accomplished. No need to take it further.

    And if anyone has this problem, i leave u with a quote from the great Oscar Wilde..

    'One must learn to be alone and not be defined by anyone else'
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  3. #3
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    Default Re: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    This post is like that moment in the Matrix2 when Morphias falls off the semi-truck and you think it's over but then he lands on a car being driven by RedBaron and he's back in the game! xD... This particular charm is well beyond the O.W.L.... I feel like I'd need to wear Mewtwo's Psy-harnessing armour to pull this off... I haven't seen frame control like this since Gandalf disqualified that Balrong on the bridge at Kazadoom... ("That's impossible! Even for a computer." - "It's not impossible, I used Sh1t Test wamprats in my T-16 back home they've got a frame that's not much bigger than two meters.")... "Don't give a girl a sh1t test... if you know you can't beat it." -Cortanna

    Last edited by Autismus; 11-25-2012 at 08:28 AM. Reason: en memorium de Reach
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  4. #4
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    Default Re: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    Totally head spinning right now Autismus... TOO. MANY. NERD. REFERENCES LOL!

    I also want to add that I believe the 'unknown BF' plays a big part in this topic as well.

    Unknown BF is when she plays games with you and already has a BF that she's not telling you about. She doesnt want to flat out say she is with someone because she likes your attention... she doesnt want you to stop being her buddy. She gives ioi's because she is attracted to you, but likes the BF too. So she has you on the side in case things with BF don't work.

    Shame because you can't even run a BF destroyer if you don't know she has a BF. And who wants a girl who's shady like that?

    OR I was thinking that she may think YOU are a player. Perhaps she sees a confident guy and relates that to players due to past trauma. She keeps her distance but your attractiveness is too much. Its like she knows she shouldn't even be friends with you but cant resist the feelings you give her.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  5. #5
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    Default Re: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post

    There is always another similar explanation. Either sheís got a boyfriend, or is kinda seeing someone but its not totally serious. The validation rules still apply. Even if she has said no or hasnít brought up the boyfriend, she would keep you around just enough to know she could have more, even if she didnít want more.
    "Splitting The Atom likes this" No, he doesn't, he LOVES this! This is EXACTLY the answer I've been looking for. I started college, HB8 shows several IOIs constantly, she loves my push and pulls, does whatever she can to get my attention and yet she has a boyfriend. I would've bet my house she liked me and I couldn't figure out why she was showing SO much interest if she wasn't single. I was thinking she was promiscuous, but this nails it.

    Its hard to believe that someone of your knowledge has a girl out there that won't go out with you.

    Thanks bro.

    Although, what would someone do in this situation I'm in with this girl who is "seeing if she can have more, even if she doesn't want more"?
    "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde

  6. #6
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    Default Re: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    Here are your options in a nutshell

    A: accept the friendship for what it is, use her as a wing and to practice teasing
    Having female friends makes you more comfortable around girls, I like having some

    B: cut your loss and move on

    C: go no contact for a while, start to fade off in hopes that she pursues you harder and you end up getting what you want
    It's possible, but you really have to be prepared to let her walk out of your life. If your high value you don't care anyway

    Or d: run Tyrone's boyfriend destroyer
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-seduce-...html#post32086

    Personally I prefer A, or C. Or some balance of the both that keeps it sexual but keeps her contacting you
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  7. #7
    Splitting The Atom's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    Thank you! I too like the sound of option A. However, I'm already kinda doing C as I hardly see her anyway as we are in the same building but different classes.

    I'll give D a read, thanks.
    "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde

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    Default Re: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    Definitely among the best theory I've ever read. Honestly this is up there with AFC Adam, TD, Wygant, and Yosha. Every guy should read this and truly understand what value means and how it works. I couldn't have put it better myself.

    And for the record, I'm an option B kind of guy, though I don't necessarily recommend it. I'm an asshole.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  9. #9
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    Default Re: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    Yep very good break down RB. I am currently talking to a HB with the same Mindset. To tell you the truth I enjoy it. Because you cannot be immune to something until you meet a challenge. Sometimes I wonder if she does this sh!t on purpose to fine tune the holes in my game. Whatever it is my soft skills has improved +10.
    ------------------------------------

  10. #10
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    Default Re: RB - That one girl you can't quite figure out

    Also I am okay with A, choosing friendship.This is an all new realm for me but the benefits are vast.
    ------------------------------------


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