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  1. #1
    Tecat3 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Another date and I just can't get a break

    This will be a long post just a heads up.

    What's up everyone? It has been awhile and the advice given to me in my first thread helped a lot.

    I seriously think for some reason, I just can't get a break with any girl I go on a date with, though they always seem to initiate the texting/calling. You will read why.

    First off, this is a date I went with from a girl at my work (yes i know some people here are on the fence about dating co-workers and some just don't do it for obvious reasons). Though this girl and I had been talking, hanging out in the break room , she would come to me whenever I was working in a department next to her. She would text me quite often and i rarely if ever needed to initiate a text.

    She really seemed to dig me so i told her if she wanted to ride with me to buffalo wild wings and get some good food and go out. She said yes though the first time she could not as she was sick. The next week (this happened on Friday), after our black friday shift we went out and this time was more physical (touching the small of her back when opening the door for her and so forth. It went pretty well then i decided to take her downtown so we can walk on the pier.

    It was a pretty cool night with some fog and when we arrived at the beach she grabbed my arm and hooked it with hers. After we got to the end of the pier i held her at the waist and to my surprise she immediately put her arms/hands over mine and pulled me closer. Then we made some chit-chat and she turned to face me and we kissed for a a bit on the pier (it was awesome). Then we just got closer together her arms around me and my hands around her waist just watching the pier and the moon.

    I tell her that I definetely wanted to raise our relationship to the next level. She did agree though she did want to keep it on the down low since our work has a pretty bad gossip habit which i understood. She also told me she wanted to take it slow which i respected. After a bit we left the pier while holding hands with interlocked fingers. After that I drove her home and gave her a goodnight kiss telling her what a great night i had and she tells me the same.

    The next day and today she seemed to text me a lot less and seemed somewhat distant. So i decided to call her and see whats up. I got the answering machine left my message and went on my day. Later on she calls me and tells me she got my message.

    Apparently her last relationship ended pretty badly and thus she told me "it is not you, it is me" I am just not ready for a relationship and rush things and I want us to just be friends. Despite saying that I tell her that i respect her decision. I asked her then what was up with what happened between us at the pier and she said she was sorry that she did not want to be with me than hurt me later saying I am not into it.

    When she said "it is not you, it is me" I instantly knew what was coming next. Considering this happened to me on my last date (which you can read about as i posted the link). I honestly am just a bit annoyed that my luck has been really sh1t lately and that no matter what with no matter what girl no matter how much i do everything, escalate everything, i can't catch a damn break. This is girl #3 in the last 3 months.

    I am sorry if this came off as a bit of a rant/vent though i really wanted to tell this to someone. It seems like there is someone or something saying "Let's let this guy get as far as we want and then kick him in the balls and knock him to the floor".

    If you were in my shoes at the moment. What would you suggest?

  2. #2
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Another date and I just can't get a break

    I tell her that I definetely wanted to raise our relationship to the next level.

    was this after the first time you got your first makeout with her? i'd recommend next time waiting a few dates if you wanna be bf/gf level or just doing all that stuff casually without expressing the title --> usually when they know your intent the chase is lost

    on the brightside you made out with her (y) maybe she wants casual sex which i'm sure you would be happy with? up to you

  3. #3
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Another date and I just can't get a break

    She really seemed to dig me so i told her if she wanted to ride with me to buffalo wild wings and get some good food and go out.

    So you told her? Or you asked her? Lol

    After we got to the end of the pier i held her at the waist and to my surprise she immediately put her arms/hands over mine and pulled me closer. Then we made some chit-chat and she turned to face me and we kissed for a a bit on the pier (it was awesome). Then we just got closer together her arms around me and my hands around her waist just watching the pier and the moon.

    WHERE'S THE K-CLOSE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? !?

    [Edit] "Then we made some chit-chat and she turned to face me and we kissed for a a bit on the pier (it was awesome)."

    My bad, I'm an idiot.

    I tell her that I definetely wanted to raise our relationship to the next level.

    Why? She just told you the same thing without words. You guys really need to stop TELLING girls that you're into them. There's no need. She can tell by your actions and if she can't that's a good thing. Mixed signals are a good thing. By telling her you lose the game. You alleviated all her Tension, and without tension you can't have attraction.

    Despite saying that I tell her that i respect her decision.

    Good.

    This is girl #3 in the last 3 months.

    Statistically, that's not too bad. It could be much worse :P

    It seems like there is someone or something saying "Let's let this guy get as far as we want and then kick him in the balls and knock him to the floor".

    Lol.

    If you were in my shoes at the moment. What would you suggest?

    I'd say the same thing I tell every other guy. Go get em', Tiger. This sh*t happens. It's not your fault, and whether it actually is or isn't doesn't matter because you need to believe that it's not your fault. I know it's hard to believe sometimes, but there are just as many sh*tty girls out there as there are sh*tty guys. Some women are crazy. Some just want to watch the world burn, but some are also pretty cool. You just gotta weed the garden if you know what I mean (I don't really know what I mean, it was just the first the first simile(?) that came to mind).
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:



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