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  1. #1
    archard's Avatar
    archard is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Profile critique please!

    Hey guys. I could really use a profile critique. I'm just not having much success on POF or Match right now.

    I feel like I need to spice up my profile and inject some more humor into it, but I'm having some trouble doing that.

    Anyway, here's a draft of my profile, it's a little bit David M., a little bit Adam Gilad, and a little bit me. Haha. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated!

    Iím a confident, passionate, creative, ambitious man. I love life and enjoy every day of it.

    To me, the only time worth having is a great one. I enjoy humor and making others laugh, having fun, socializing, meeting people old and new, my family, art/design, quiet nights at home, movies, the internet, great food, music, and self improvement.

    Few things turn me on more than being with someone special while we share a heaping dose of amazing laughs together.

    I bring peopleís visions to life on a daily basis. Itís very rewarding to be able to produce good work that people use and enjoy.

    I'm passionate, funny, kind, selective, warm, flirtatious, and like every man, I want a woman who can keep me on my toes.

    For me, in addition to beauty, I find qualities like integrity, trust, honesty, respect, loyalty, a great sense of humor and open communication attractive.

    I want to meet an attractive woman who's exciting, genuine, cool and fun to be with.
    You know what you want and aren't afraid to say so. The women that are attractive to me are not shy, so feel free to email me and we'll see if we 'click.' Who knows? I may like you too. If anything, maybe we could be friends.

    There's a lot more to know and I would tell you more -- but that wouldn't allow me to leave you on the edge of your seat wondering just how awesome I am. LOL

    Let's talk about it over a cup of coffee and see where things take us. Life's short, why wait?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Profile critique please!

    You're giving away too much info about yourself & not leaving anything to mystery or imagination. (That's the first thing)

    The second thing is, you're not coming across as confident.

    "...feel free to email me and we'll see if we 'click.' Who knows? I may like you too. If anything, maybe we could be friends."

    &

    "Let's talk about it over a cup of coffee and see where things take us. Life's short, why wait?"

    It makes you sound unsure...

    Here's how women are interpreting that:
    "If there's even the slightest chance you're interested, please have pity on me & send me a message, because nobody else will. I'm also not sure that you'll like me, so hopefully (if I'm lucky) you'll at least agree to being friends... maybe?"

    You want your profile to be FUN & create curiosity & intrigue.

    You want it to get their interest & hook them.

    Think along the lines of a movie preview trailer, or a TV Infomercial.

    In fact, you could actually write your profile in such a format. Make it sound like an infomercial.
    Be entertaining & engaging...

    THAT is what will bring you monstrous results.


    They other guys in the "All Stars" have seen the results I've had with POF... so I know they can attest to the fact that I'm giving you rock solid advice.

    (Ain't that right Tyrone1991...?)


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    archard's Avatar
    archard is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Profile critique please!

    Thanks for the advice T-Mal! I got to thinking about it and when you said infomercial, I just started running with it and came up with this. It's got a few elements that were already there, but I think it's a lot more fun and engaging now.

    What do you think?

    Tired of reading profile after profile, bored out of your mind by seeing the same things over and over again?

    Does this sound familiar:
    ďHi, Iím Chip! Iím a super swell guy and Iím really nice. I like everything you do and I really enjoy long walks on the beach and cuddling. If you think you might be interested, please email me!Ē

    SNOOOORE!
    Well fear not, now you can cure your online dating woes with Pete!

    Iím a confident, creative, funny, ambitious, man and I really enjoy life. To me, the only time worth having is a great one.

    But wait, thereís more!

    In addition to beauty, I find qualities like integrity, trust, honesty, respect, loyalty, a great sense of humor and open communication attractive.

    There's a lot more to know and I would tell you more -- but that wouldn't allow me to leave you on the edge of your seat wondering just how awesome I am.

    It youíre an attractive woman who's exciting, genuine, cool and fun to be with, email now! Operators are standing by.

    But you need to hurry, Iíll only be single for a limited time.
    Act now before itís too late!

  4. #4
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Profile critique please!

    Nice!!!

    That's pretty sweet! I'm betting you'll see a bit of improvement after the changes.

    Make sure to post an update in a couple days & let us know what sort of results you have.

    This newly tweaked version will definitely stand out from most of the other profiles.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
    archard's Avatar
    archard is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Profile critique please!

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    Nice!!!

    That's pretty sweet! I'm betting you'll see a bit of improvement after the changes.

    Make sure to post an update in a couple days & let us know what sort of results you have.

    This newly tweaked version will definitely stand out from most of the other profiles.
    I'll definitely post an update in a few days.
    Putting it up on POF and Match now.

    Thanks again!


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