This is my guide to Multiple Long Term Relationships, as well as securing friends with benefits. A lot of this has been touched on before, but I donít believe Iíve written a specific post to address it all, so here it is.
Approaching and managing multiple long term relationships is not difficult. Believe it or not straightforward honesty here makes the process much easier than trying to hide something.
I can't take credit for it fully, I think I stole the concept of "I am in date mode right now" from Style and customized around it
Unless things move super fast (like sleeping with them the day or day after you meet them) I always tell a girl before we fool around - to keep it honest (the game is about understanding women and how the interaction works, you can game without being sleezy)
Sometime towards the end of a good date I'll turn to them and say something like
"hey, I really like you and I like hanging out with you, but I'm kind of in date mode right now, and I am dating other people"
That's the key phrase, it moves it pretty well into multiple long term relationships. I've found very very little issues with this if you tell them early
Then you can follow up a little more if you like
"I like hanging out and I still want to see you I just want to make sure you know where I'm at. I want a relationship sometime when I'm sure that it's the right person, I just donít believe in jumping into something until you know you really like someone.Ē
Most important word is "date-mode", customize everything else how you like just throw that in
After you tell them that you don't need to tell them anything else, you have the green light to fool around and do whatever you want with no deception
I know some of the ..."I really like you" seems really AFC / beta, but it's ok when youre bringing up a topic like this cuz the girls instincts may say you are a player and you are combating that with proper delivery and honesty
Pick up artists aren't players, we are honest about what we do and take some pride in it
Fact is, when youíre clear about the fact that you donít jump into a relationship with just anyone, it shows the girls that when you do choose them it really means something, so when you do commit they are special. If you settle for anyone who comes along, youíre not showing that your choice is valuable.
Iíve had several great relationships develop out of MLTRs, and when I look back on each one, I would have never met the girl I got in to a relationship with if I had jumped to a relationship with one of the girls before her.
If youíre honest with a girl, theyíll be respectful about this. About 9 out of 10 girls I use this approach on are totally cool about it. Once in a while, theyíre not. And thatís ok. Some girls want monogamy only, and being honest with them makes sure that you didnít leave them feeling used or lied to.
Again, pick up artists are not player. If a girl doesnít want open dating its better to move on than to hurt her.
Iíve had many girls come and go, and none of them hate me or have any ill will towards me. You approach this honestly and you can show you still respect a girl and have what you want. Game is not about manipulating women. Always leave them better than you found them.
Many of them will ask if youíre looking for something else down the road. Personally I am, Iím just really picky about who I jump in to a relationship with. So I tell them that, openly, and theyíre almost always cool about it.
Thatís my general approach to MLTR. Iíve also had a few friends with benefits evolve as well. These have been girls I was actually friends with. Thereís no magic key to this, follow the steps on how to avoid friend zone to some extent (http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up-women/16365-rb-avoiding-friend-zone.html ), make sure there is some sexual tension, Kino, etc. But also talk to them as an actual friend. For example - I have one girl Iím close to that knows everything about every other girl Iím dating, we talk, share stories, etc. We also have some attraction and sexual tension, I make sure to kino, joke, tease all the same, but not really to pick her up, its just the way I interact with people. One day after bar close she just asked if she could come back with me. We never had to have a separate discussion about dating other people, we knew the situation. If youíre going to approach this you need to be careful that its someone youíre not too emotionally attached to, IE she can still tell me about who sheís dating and it doesnít phase me at all.
You can also evolve friends with benefits, or more Ė ďFuck buddiesĒ out of girls youíve been dating as well. Go with the same approach above, telling them that youíre seeing other people. Just modify it a little bit, like ďIím not really sure where this is going right now, I still want to hang out, I just want to let you know that Iím in date mode and am dating other people.Ē If you have no intention of seeing where something may go with them, then donít intentionally mislead them and tell them you may have a future. Just tell them youíre in date mode, and thatís it for now.
Now two few final notes
First, this shouldnít really need to be said but be selective, use protection, and exercise sound judgment with your sex life.
Second, this of course gives the girl a green light to go date other people too. And if youíre dating other people and fooling around with them, you canít expect her not to do the same. Just make the expectations clear at the beginning, then donít talk about who either of you is dating. If a girl youíre dating is busy, donít pry. Not only is it AFC, its just better to avoid any details about these things.
Good luck in your dating lives everyone.
Remember to be honest and be respectful.