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  1. #1
    CarlosBoid is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She says I'm intimidating

    Ok, so I have been working on this shy 7 recently. My text game has been going horrible with her. If I say something random and just playful she usually texts back in decent time and positive response. However anything that is teasing, negs, etc... seems to produce negative results. In person it seems fine and she flirts back and shows IOIs.

    I finally got frustrated so I met her in person and said something along the line how I would like to get to know her looks aren't everything yada yada... She ended up telling me she finds me intimidating. This kinda confused me because I thought she was blowing me off via txt. However, I she flooded me with IoIs that night and I k-closed her.

    To cut to the chase my question is: Is it common for a girl who finds you intimidating to be too scared to send you the first text, or to not respond to teasing and negs? Are there methods of deal with this type of thing? Or am I just missing comfort?

  2. #2
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: She says I'm intimidating

    Remember with texting (or any other form of written communication) it's sometimes hard for the other person to get the intended inflection in your messages.

    Make use of emoticons to emphasize when you're being fun or making a little joke.
    That might help.

    If she finds you intimidating in person, it's probably your body language.

    Make sure you're relaxed & loose.... & smile!!!
    (If you're tense & nervous, you can make people feel a bit on edge.)

    And yes, comfort is going to be an important factor. So, paying attention to your body language should help with that.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    CarlosBoid is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She says I'm intimidating

    Well I do send emoticons when I'm teasing but she still somehow takes it serious when i neg/tease. I think she is just a very literal person. If I clarify later that i was just teasing with her she then responds. I find it confusing I guess I will try to focus on comfort and intended inflection.

    One more question so if its my body language does it mean I have closed body language? I appear cold?

  4. #4
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: She says I'm intimidating

    If you keep your arms folded, or your hands in your pocket, it sends the subconscious message that you're either closed off, nervous, timid, uncertain.... or all of the above.

    Or if you're arms are to your side, but your shoulders are stiff instead of relaxed, that could have the same effect... or even make you appear to be "on edge" & possibly looking to fight / argue...etc.


    Also- it can be intimidating or an expression of neediness, if you face a girl straight on. (Too much Positive body language)

    Instead, try keeping yourself turned to the side more. (Using negative body language)
    Keep your legs about a shoulder's width apart, & your arms relaxed & at your side.
    Stand tall with your chin parallel to the floor, as well as your eyes. (Look straight forward, not down.)



    Occasionally turn to face her squarely, when she shows signs of interest... but turn back to the side afterwards. (Do this during the initial attraction phase.)

    Check-in with your body occasionally & be aware of whether or not you're relaxed.

    Being relaxed expresses confidence & also puts other people more at ease, so they can also relax.
    That will make it much easier to build comfort & get her to lower her defense shield.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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