Hey guys. I've had success with a solid profile and decent openers. After the initial opener and a few back and forth messages, however, the girl stops responding. So, here is my OkCupid profile, some examples of good openers, and some examples of some not so good follow throughs. Feel free to criticize as much as possible. I'll start with my profile.


I like to have fun and fark with people, so if you don't have a sense of humor, be warned. I regularly fake accents and have conversations with people, leading them to believe I'm from a different country.

Life is too short- do what you want, when you want, and how you want. I believe in being yourself to the extreme, this way you can weed out the people in your life that you don't connect with. It's better to have a few people absolutely love you and some hate you, than it is to be "liked" by everyone. Because the people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind don't matter.

What Iím doing with my life
Chemical engineering, starting a company, philanthropy, lifting weights, writing music

Iím really good at
Playing guitar, writing music, singing, faking accents

The first things people usually notice about me
My gigantic penis

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Think and Grow Rich, A Million Little Pieces, Any Dean Koontz Novel, Sydney Sheldon novels,

Movies: Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Godfather Trilogy, Donnie Darko, The Butterfly Effect, Road Trip, Dumb and Dumber, really any movie... I am a HUGE movie buff

Shows: Key and Peele, Seinfeld, King of Queens, Face Off, Impractical Jokers

Music: Breaking Benjamin, Avenged Sevenfold, Pepper, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Expendables, Iration, Three Days Grace, Green Day, Enya, Bone Thugs, Oasis, Outkast, Chili Peppers, Weezer, Mozart

The six things I could never do without
Weights, my guitar, movies, sex, anal beads (just playin), laughing!

I spend a lot of time thinking about
My future, my goals, and how I can help others along the way

On a typical Friday night I am
Studying or out with friends. What the hell else what I be doing?

The most private thing Iím willing to admit
I once sh1t my pants at work and had to go home

Iím looking for
Straight girls only
Ages 18Ė35
Near me
For short-term dating

You should message me if
You like to have fun

Ok. Now, here are some examples of openers and conversations. I mainly need critique on my follow through.

Conversation 1
Opener: on HB7
Hey I may have already messaged you, but w/e you're a cutie. So you think you're a mermaid? What a coincidence. I have a fetish for mermaids, there's just something about that wet green tail. What's up I'm john.

Haha thanks. I'm Kellye. Its nice to meet you

Hey sorry for the late response, had a calculus 2 final :l How is your thursday night treating you?

Pretty good. Build an elliptical tonight so that was exciting. U ace ur exam? What are u studying

Chemical engineering, and yes I aced the sh1t out of it lol. An elliptical? Those are those sex machines that you ride, correct? Howard Stern has guests ride them a lot on his talk show. So youre into that kind of stuff? Kinky

Um no it's like a treadmill.

I know, I'm just kidding. I'm just looking for a friend, or a cool girl to have fun with- nothing too serious. What are you looking for at this point in your life... and don't tell me a one night stand, Im not that kind of guy!

I have no plan that way there is no expectations or disappointment. Plus I like suprises.

I'm just hoping to meet some cool people, preferably girls, to get to know and hang out with, and if it leads somewhere then great. If not, then at least I've made a new friend. What do you like to do for fun?

Idk. Chill at the beach and go on the boat. You?

Movies video games, pool, spearfish, skydive, etc. Ever been skydiving?

She did not respond after this.

Another conversation with a good opener, and bad follow through:

Conversation 2
Opener: on HB 8.5
Hey I may have already messaged you, but w/e you're a cutie. So you spend a lot of time thinking about self-improvement? Well you might want to start with your "About me" section of your profile lol, theres barely anything there! Im John, whats up?

haha. my "about me" is pretty pathetic, i know! Whats up, John? I just signed up an hour ago....have you met anyone on here? any interesting stories?

I have met some interesting characters. One girl wanted to me to drive 3 hours to have sex with her (to which i declined), and some are just bat sh1t crazy. Heres to hoping youre sane! I'm just hoping to meet some cool people, preferably girls, to get to know and hang out with, and if it leads somewhere then great. If not, then at least I've made a new friend. What do you like to do for fun?

Of course i'm sane! i bet there are some characters! Thats why it's hard to take these sites seriously, my first site by the way.
I like anything and everything, beach, movies, skydiving,dinners, barnes and noble, you know....you?

Oh damn! We got a skydiver on our hands! I've only been once, but I have been dying to go again. I love spearfishing, scuba diving, im a huge movie buff, obviously going out to dinner, and yes reading at barnes and nobles as well. I like a good book. How many times have you been skydiving?

I've only been once, in michigan on vacation, random. but it was a rush like never before! ive never been scuba diving but that is on my bucket list. I see you play guitar? Do you serendae the ladies? lol. and you sing? like in the car or for real sing?

Haha! I have been known to serenade a lady or two lol. Yeah "for real" sing. I'm not the best there ever was, but I'm pretty good. I write my own music and everything. So it seems like we both like adrenalin rush type activities- thats a good thing to have in common. So what do you do? In school, working, or just hang out on OkCupid all day?

LOL. okcupid has mean a little intrigued at the moment. I just lost my job last week so im actively looking for a new one while playing on here. Do you sing in public? or just around friends? I spent time in Nashville last summer, was always at cafes and bars checkin out bands. so fun!

Sorry for the delayed response, OkCupid wouldn't let me log in. Anyways... Yeah its hard to keep a job in stripping nowadays.. Jk. Lol. What did you do? Please don't tell me stripping, then ill feel bad! I used to record music, and play at bars and whatnot, now I'm focusing pretty much entirely on school. Karaoke is fun! Do you sing karaoke? Why don't you give me your number, so much easier to communicate by text!

She did not respond after this. I'm pretty sure it was the stripper comment, but she also might have been scared off by the attempted Number Close, in which she didn't feel comfortable with yet.

Another conversation in which SHE messaged ME first:

Conversation 3
Her: HB 8.5

Wow, it was brave of you to message me first. Most women can't handle the rejection if the guy doesn't respond. I see you just got out of a long term relationship and just looking for a guy to chill with and go slow... I'm looking for the same thing, except with a girl of course haha. I love spearfishing and movies. How about you? What are your favorites?

I am far from shy I enjoy spear fishing as well, first fish ever shot hog snapper ( only the most delish one lol) I also love flounder gigging, have you even tried it? Lets see for movies I can't say I have a favorite but ones that I like are boondocks saints, 300, my bestfriends girl, super troopers. Pretty much all over the place as long as its not chick flicks. How long have you been in Jupiter for?

Oh yeah, hog snappers are the best tasting fish there is- I like to eat em raw though, sashimi is my favorite. Have not been flounder gigging, but I'm always down to try new things. Skydiving is also awesome. Ive been trying to go again for the last few months, but most people are too scared and its an experience you have to share with someone- not as fun by yourself. You have some good movie choices: saints, 300, super troops, but I like some cult classics like Donnie Darko and Requiem for a Dream as well- movies that make you think. Saw Life of Pi last night, was amazing. I've been in J-Town for 13 years, how about you? Whered you go to high school/college?

She did not respond after this. I think I came off as too interested, but I'm not sure.

Another conversation:

Conversation 4
Opener: on HB 7.5
Hey I may have already messaged you, but w/e you're a cutie. You seem driven and fun, I like that. What's up I'm john.

I don't believe you have. But your profile had me laughing! Hey John, I'm Heather.

Haha. Thats me, I am ridiculous sometimes, but I like to have fun. So, what are you doing on OkCupid? Stalking people? Looking for a good guy to get to know better? I hope the latter, I've met enough of the other lol.

She did not respond after this.

One more conversation, in which I royally farked up.

Conversation 5
Opener: on HB 7.5
Hey I think I may have message you before, but w/e you're a cutie. You say you are a nerd and like to read? Let's get together and study anatomy sometime. My names john what's up?

What's up ? Hmm nothing made dinner ate relaxing bout to play some cod ha

Shweet. I'm about to jump on some halo 4 in a little bit. So what are you doing on OkCupid. What are you trying to find? Its cool that you like video games btw.

I'm single so maybe a boyfriend

Same. I just recently broke up with my ex, and trying to meet some cool people.. See where it leads. Have you ever met anyone in person that you've met online before?

Yep one good experience one bad

Really? I haven't met anyone online that's piqued my curiousity enough to meet. Here's to hoping you are! 2 questions that are of the utmost importance to have in common before we continue whatever you want to call this:
1) Do you like Lord of the Rings?
2) Do you play Skyrim?

She did not respond after this. I tried to let my inner nerd run rampant, since she was herself a self-proclaimed nerd. Obviously it didn't work.

I am about to give up online dating, as I am tired of farking up my conversations. If you can, please share your wisdom and let me know what I should or could have done better. You can refer to the respective conversation as conversation "x".

Sorry for the long post, and as always, I appreciate your advice!