I decided to take a new approach to my online opener. I open with a brutally honest and even a bit overblown list of disqualifiers. I list everything obvious about me and my life that someone might find objectionable. I even through in some things which they would never know about me and sound negative at first but foreshadow my perserverence and tenaciousness. They give me a bad boy image too! A disqualifier, and yet if they can get past the opener I know they are ok with dating an older, overweight, married, alpha male. Then after I get the crap out of the way I dhv up the wazoo! I have only tried this once but it worked better than any opener I have ever used. I got an Instant number and real name with almost a beg to text her. She initiated sexting and sent me nude photos within 24 hours. This from someone that said in her ad that she was engaged and specifically said she was not interested in Sexting or nude pics etc. LOL
Check this out!
Let me tell you about myself. I am overweight, I snore like a power saw, I am somewhat narcissistic. I am a high school dropout, I am a recovering drug addict, I have spent time in jail. I have an unfortunate tendency to send angry sarcastic emails to my superiors at work. The only reason they don't fire me is because I'm very good at my job and they know they can't find anyone to replace me. I've been married for 20 years and date girls half my age. My wife knows this, and doesn't like it but too bad! If she doesn't like it she can leave.
So now you know all the bad sh1t about me.
Here's the good stuff:
I am tall and stocky and handsome. Did I mention I'm also very humble? LOL! I like to sing, and tell stories and be the center of attention. I am fairly intelligent. I went back to school and made a good career for myself and I'm a successful, respected professional in my business. I decide what I want to do in life and I make it happen. I have already checked off a lot of my career goals.
I have been drug free for over a decade.
I do volunteer work and am the president of a local charitable organization.
My friends know they could call me any time of the day or night and I would move heaven and earth to help them.
I am romantic and am a very sweet, tender, gentle, lover and get no complaints from my lovers if you know what I mean!
I am very good at fixing things. I repair my own home, cars, electronics and anything else that breaks.
I like the outdoors and spend the summer motorcycling, boating, hiking and camping.
In the winter I work on remodeling projects and restoring my Corvette.
How about you? Lol
(My first name)
Her reply (a few minutes later):
Woah okay! Lol well my names (real first name) I'm I'm 23 I'm not going to lie I'm doing absolutely nothing with my life right now except being a mother to my 2 year old daughter and working at a bar. I love horror movies and some action. I love punk and alt. Rock. But other than that you'll have to learn as we go but just keep in mind I'm either as sweet as a carebear or as ruthless as all Capone text me please I'm very intrigued by you thus far (phone number)
I had to break her of that Capone crap right away. She started giving me negs and I went silent for 12 hours. She promised to be a good girl from then on.