Re: Do Not be Fooled (by "Signals")
One big thing I've learned in pick up is that despite what people have said and taught in their programs, there are really no real signals for when a woman is interested. It's pretty much a guessing game.
I've come to realize that all the things from women in the following list:
leaning on you,
turning towards you (while sitting or standing, etc.),
eye-contact with smile,
giving you things,
buying you things,
blatantly flirting with you,
always enjoying their time around you,
being unnecessarily close or unnecessarily touching you,
asking for your number,
suggesting to hang out,
longer than usual hugs,
laughs unnecessarily at all your jokes,
talks about how interesting and funny you are,
requests to hang out / go out with you,
holds hands with you with fingers interlocked,
asks for your number (or name, age, residence)
All these things can mean - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
(especially from those who are religious fanatics)
IOIs are there to help you, but it is your inner gut that should tell you if she is in interested. You just know.
At times you have to hold on a litlle longer and make the move at the right moment. If you do it too late then you are gone despite the previous IOIs. If it is too early you will be rejected.
Yes, you read correctly - I've been in a few situations where I thought I was getting signals when these things were going on and it turned out there was no real interest there. I'm not sure what it was/is, but they often times aren't "interested" (because I seriously doubt that anyone who's truly interested would choose to not initiate calls or texts or be somewhat wishy washy with their behaviors and text communications). Not only that, but there's also the possibility that she could do the same things with other guys - ALL WHILE also having a boyfriend (I've personally witnessed this, too), so either they're not really interested, or they're interested in pretty much any guy who seems interesting at the moment....
You are the man and you initiate calls! Not the other way round. If you have sparked off enough attraction there will be a point when she will be chasing you.
I remember posting on facebook a PUA video from one of the best PUA's on "How to tell if a woman is interested" and someone went off on me talking about how all that is not true and if I choose to believe that those were signals then I am only fooling myself and will make myself more confused. I rebutted and argued, but then learned from real life experience that the person who commented back at me was right!
There are some chicks that will show you IOIs to manipulate you, but those are easilly spotted.
Unless I'm missing something here, I don't think there is any sure sign to tell whether or not a woman is interested. I've received a bunch of reactions/body language displays that one would assume were signs but it turned out to be nothing. Either I'm getting mixed signals because I have no idea what I'm truly supposed to be looking for or I'm still screwing up somewhere because something's not right. I see other guys who look (and often times act) way worse than me successfully get girlfriends or get sex, and I'm not even talking about bad boys here when I say "act worse," although I have noticed that it's nearly impossible to achieve success with women if you are a nice guy as well.
When I read your post for the first time I kind of missed reading the above paragraph, and I thought to myself it seems to me that this guy is way too nice. Ater rereading your whole post and reading the above paragraph you confirmed it. Stop being Mr. Nice Guy!
I have quite a few women who enjoy my presence, love being around me, and many who feel comfortable making physical contact since I ALWAYS establish physical contact very early on and build comfort very quickly. A majority of them enjoy my charismatic personality and the fact that I can change their emotions. They literally tell me how interesting I am and act very interested in seeing me (of course, some more than others). However, when it's not religion or cultural differences keeping us apart, then it's the problem where they rarely to never initiate the first call or text or only sometimes text back (and this is regardless of whether or not I take them out to spend alone time with them). I should also mention that these are females I see very often throughout the week. They have no problem giving me their phone numbers, and often times, since I know I'll see them multiple times a week / month, I wait for a legitimate reason to get it or for them to voluntarily offer it based on comfort or them eventually wanting to hang out with me. That sure works better than trying to rush things.
So....... in other words, I have no idea what's going on here (and this is coming from a guy who now impresses and shows other guys how to approach, meet, and start conversations with women)!
32 years in the game as of today, yet despite all the improvements I've made over time, I'm still lost when it comes to this stuff.
My more recent successes have only confused me more in a way because obviously I'm getting some sort of attraction going on here but can't seem to get things exactly right. I've got to get it together QUICK because if I let another 30 years pass, next thing I know I'll be a senior citizen who missed out on a lot of my childhood all because I had to relearn all the social skills necessary to operate normally within society. I blame aspergers for this.
I wont even get to texting or internet dating because I simply have no idea how to do those things in a proper manner. If it were up to me, I'd permanently eliminate all text and require all in person meetings or actual phone calls.
Read the post by T-mal on texting:
If anyone has gotten signals for whether or not a woman is interested figured out or has any REAL solutions to help me solve the problem of knowing whether or not a woman is interested, please let me know.
Read Mystery and the whole thing about DHVs and escalating.
Make the impossible possible!