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  1. #1
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Confront GF about being quiet/distant, or ignore it?

    Whats the best thing to do when your girlfriend sporatically acts unusually quiet/distant at times? Say something to her about it (particulariy talking text message), or pretend to ignore it and go about my business.

    The reason I say "pretend", is that in all reality it bugs the SH1T out of me..

    Example: Last night she was over, had a great time. She was in a great mood, "cuddly", and overall a great night and I took her home (she sleeps over sometimes, but not always). Even after she continued to text me nice things (xo's, "I had a great time" etc, and actually mentioned that she thought I was being a little distant! but ended the night with a nice goodnight babe " text. I don't think I was being distant at all... quite the opposite). This morning... I wait till around noon and text her a simple good morning text and another one. She responded, but literally one word answers. I said "oh ok nice... you ok?" to which she said "just waking up". Left her be for awhile and shot her a "have a nice day with your family" (christmas stuff)... didn't even recieve a "thanks" back.

    Think I should mention something about this odd (and kind of rude) behavior and try to nip it in the bud, or play it cool and just not say anything else myself. Problem with not saying anything myself is these things tend to "build up" for me until I snap at her at some point. We have had some fights about stuff like this before, both ways. She's accused me of being distant at times, and I've accused her of the same at others.

    And also please note: We are in an exlusive relationship for about 4 months, so the answer "go out and meet different chicks" isn't really that helpful in this case. However.. I will actually do so if this continues. For now though, just trying to work it out with her.

  2. #2
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confront GF about being quiet/distant, or ignore it?

    Hey, I can see that you posted about her already earlier (it would be easier to continue to post in the same thread - that way we know the background).
    Anyway has anything changed since your first posts? She is till distant and it doesn't seem to be getting any better?
    Have you followed Sidewinders advice from the previous post?
    Have you calmed down when she does not reply?


    Going out and meeting chicks is helpful, as you get your mind of her. I understand you that you have a girlfriend, but don't let her have get the control, as it seems to me that slowly the power is shifting.

    When she is busy what do you do with your time? Do you enjoy your free time?
    To me it seems like that you are concerned about her well being all the time... and she on the other hand is nice to you when she feels like it.
    I would have a talk with her (NO and I mean NO arguing - you can't win a discussion if you start arguing) and set the boundaries. Tell her what the DOs and DONTs are. Of course it might back fire where she will say that she does not want it, but do you want to be in a relationship with someone that cares only on occasions? As Yoki said in a reply to your post you have to be ready to loose her! You are living in your reality and if she does not like it then tell her it is a no go for you. She will respect you more for your boundaries than you caring for her!
    Make the impossible possible!

  3. #3
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confront GF about being quiet/distant, or ignore it?

    confront her and ask wassup... don't be around the bush.

    u cannot read her mind and u don't wanna waste time guessing.

    man up

    gL


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