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  1. #1
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Give me feedback on this FB message exchanges

    Hi all,

    would appreciate very much some feedback on this message exchange: what happened to from very interested and willing to set up a meeting that same evening to... Nothing?


    Background story:

    I saw this very cute asian-looking girl, approached her when she was alone, talked a couple of minutes and invited her for a drink (yeah, I know what many think of guys buying drinks, but the place we were staying was uncomfortable and with the drink I could have invited her to sit down, which happened), got the drink and invited her to sit down.

    We talked quite a lot, her English was far from perfect however she wasn't stupid and I liked her. Before she had to leave with her last friends we started making out for like 15-20 minutes (she started, I carried on a pretty good conversation and conveyed a pretty good image but I mistakenly didn't do the first move).
    I think I can safely she was really into me, at least for the evening.

    I already know some possible mistakes, but I'd like to hear your opinion.

    Here is the exchange, started the day after:



    3 November ME
    Ciao XXX!

    How are you?
    I hope everything's OK : ).

    It was really really nice meeting you.
    Seriously.
    You are smart, interesting, funny, entertaining... OK, also very beautiful : ). And yeah, with a little bit of meddlesome friends, but still OK : D.

    So, when can I invite you for an evening out for a drink, a movie, a dinner or something? : )

    XXX (the untrustworthy XXX guy guy in Nebe with a white shirt and with those "strange" mints. See they were not ecstasy in the end? )

    4. November ME
    (here she added me to her friend list, so I thought it was OK to send another one shortly after)

    So, what do you think... ? : )

    (here I attach a video of her fav band, unluckily I didnt remember the fav song)
    MUSE link


    4 November SHE
    Ciao XXX! Bene bene what about you? ...you remembered my favorite song, so nice! sure, i can find for you a time. and as it turned out, you're not a liar, and that drugs doesnt act bad on me


    4. November ME
    Tutto bene grazie : D.
    Of course I can remember, together with all the rest you were saying : )
    And BTW, it's also a great song! : )

    Ehehehe about the mint/drugs: see I deserved a little bit more trust than you were willing to give? : D
    And look at Wikipedia, Sinatra was indeed the son if Italian immigrants (I quote: Sinatra was the only child of Italian immigrants Natalie Della and Antonino Martino Sinatra).

    (here I link Sinatra's because we were dancing "New York New York" and she didnt believe Sinatra was Italo-American)

    So you said Friday is your only free day. But maybe you can make an exception for Saturday?
    So, what do you think you give me one day of your weekend, either Friday or Saturday, and I invite you out somewhere? : )

    4 November SHE
    No, got it! I remember, I told you about a completely different song at the club. I told you about uprising - muse :P
    about drugs, this is only the first test of my full confidence to you.
    ... and... I don't remember how we were talking about Frank Sinatra. i was a lil bit drunk : ) so now i'll know that he is the son of italian immigrants : )
    well, now I can't say exactly when I'll be free this week. and where will you want me to invite? haha : )

    p.s and please don't forget that my english is not so pretty good as you are thinking now, i must teach you czech : D


    4 November ME
    Daaamn, are you sure? : )

    Ehehe it's OK, I'm pretty confident I can pass any test : D

    Ehehe yes, now you know that all important information : D. It's normal you don't remember that, we mentioned him just one second when the last closing song in Nebe was playing, and it was "New York, New York" : ).

    Hmmm OK, let me know when you know then, or... Try to make yourself free, I'm sure your friends love you, but they can go out by themselves at least one evening : D
    About the where, you can choose if you have in mind a particular place you would like to go to. It could be anywhere, Prague 1, Prague 2, Brno, Italy... The moon . OK, for the last two maybe a little bit more planning in advance could be useful : D.

    Your English is good, and some Czech lessons will be welcome : )


    4 November SHE
    yes i am sure so... if i can choose could it be today? today i have free time.

    4 November ME
    What time and where? : )

    4 November SHE
    have u got a car? can u pick me up? at 8.20 i dont know where

    4 November ME
    Aaargh, not really, always thought "when I'm sure I'll be here in Prague for some years I'll get one" :S

    4 November SHE
    okay, do u know some place?

    4 November ME
    19:16
    Where do you live? What about 9 in Wenceslaw square, in front of New Yorker?

    4 November
    SHE
    19:34
    i'm sorry sorry, i forgot about my visa, tomorrow morning i must be in the police to get biometry and now i am talking with my parents on skype. so today i can't. XXX, pardon me, next week we ll meet : )

    4 November ME
    21:25
    (sent via phone while I was actually on another date, I would have preferred going with her but hei... she wasn't replying..)
    Noo problem, don't worry, just leave a spot for me for the weekend or during the week : ).

    Good luck with the police and have a nice sleep : )
    Last edited by lucifer7; 12-25-2012 at 03:12 PM. Reason: Too long, will break in two messages

  2. #2
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feedback on this FB message exchanges

    6. November ME
    Hi XXX!
    How are you, I hope everything's OK with the visa and with those complicated economics/banking/financial markets courses? : )

    Well, just saying hi.. : )

    6. November SHE
    hi XXX! Yes, that was so problematical getting up early morning that day, i went to police and had signed up to thursday morning biometric photosession by policeman about my lovely economics... now i'm studying hard, tomorrow i will have to present my work about motivation : ) so... what about you? how do u think, have you got a motivation to do someone exiting in your life? maybe it will be making milliard of dollars, maybe easier- just win them, or maybe to find love?wife?children?h ouse?farm?

    6. November ME
    21:27
    Ehehe yes I can imagine, getting up early in the morning is hardly ever a pleasure : D.

    Ehehe wow, you had to book a photosession, seems like everyone wants to take pictures of you .

    Motivations, hmmm... There are several current of thougths. McKinsey, a consultancy firm, think that people are mostly motivated economically, but I think they believe so only because they are like that : D.
    I think that in general people are *at least* as motivated by status and financial reasons as they are by "human" ones (friendship with manager and coworkers, feeling valued, feeling your work is useful etc. etc.), and several researches confirm that.
    However, different people need different motivations, and that's what a good manager should do: recognize the different needs of different people : ).

    That in general, or was yours a question about me? : D

    And what about you, what's your aspiration/motivation, apart from going to the Muse concert? : )

    9. November ME
    Morning XXX!

    How are you, how did that work about motivation go? Everything's OK?

    Any plans for the weekend? : )

    9. November SHE
    Good evening! I'm good, what about you? that work was done that eveving and i had presentated it the next day! no plans yet...

    6. November ME
    Good, good, I'm good too thanks.

    So what do you think of meeting somewhere this evening? : )

    10. November SHE
    ow today i had a my friend's birthday party! i just read your message(

    10. November ME
    Ook, I hope it was a nice party and you had fun.

    So let me know when you have a free evening so that I can have the pleasure to invite you out

    Good morning, BTW! : )


    11. November ME
    (I see her at the same club, she comes to say hi from behind while I'm at the bar, we talk like 2 mins, I invite her for a drink, she say she can't drink tonight and has to leave because she's with friends.She goes. After maybe 45 mins I go sit with her and I thought she was kinda glad as when she saw me walking she hurried to say something to her friend while smiling. I make the mistake of not saying "i can only stay 5 mins" also because I was on my own at the place and I make the mistake of buying them both a drink. Another bad point for me: I wasn't wasted but maybe a little bit too drunk for a girl that either doesn't drink much or not at all as she's muslim)

    Hi XXX!

    It was nice seeing you yesterday. You looked great... "As usual", if I'm allowed to say that : D
    (I make this joke of "allowed" as I had said that to her in person trying to pretend we knew each other already quite well, but she replied something like "as usual, we've met just twice : ) "

    Well, just wanted to say hi basically and wish you a nice Sunday : )

    18. November ME
    Hi XXX!
    Long time no see/talk to you.
    How are you, I hope everything's OK?
    Hopefully school/work is not getting too much and I hope you had a nice weekend : ).

    Any free time during the week or during the coming weekend? I still have to get that famous date I have been annoying you with since I first met you : D

    22. November SHE
    Hey XXX! now that's really happened... a long time we didn't talk i was very very busy, had so much not finished work. how are you?

    23. November ME
    Eheheh yeah it really happened : D

    I can imagine, work+studying+life, guess it's normal it will get very busy at times for you : ).
    But don't worry, December and Christmas holidays are quickly coming, and you will have more free time and it will be beautiful as the town will be all lit up in Christmas lights : ).
    I hope it will not bother you too much that us Christians will be celebrating : D. Ehehe just kidding :P.

    BTW, makes me think, it's a good period to go out one evening : ).
    I can think of 3 different options: 1. bar to have a drink and chat + club; 2. dinner + cinema; 3. walk around the center, eat and drink something in the stalls (was thinking of having you to try some glue wine ) + stop to a nice place we will spontaneously decide.

    16 DECEMBER ME
    Ciao XXX!


    How are you, how's life, everything's OK?


    Have you heard about the Maja prophecy? Well, basically the world is coming to an end this Friday. Hopefully it will be quick and not too painful : D, but in any case, it would be nice if you could teach me some Czech before that and say goodbye : ).

    Not sure what I'm gonna do with Czech in heaven, but you never know it could be useful : D


    Tuesday there's the last party of your university, the N2N and it's
    in Nebe in Wenceslaw square (link: xxx ).


    Well, if you'd like to have a last party and say goodbye to Nebe before the end of the world, I think it could be useful the last place you partied in was called "heaven" : D

  3. #3
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feedback on this FB message exchanges

    Dude, it's horrible. She has obviously lost interest. You are double messaging her. Why are you putting her on a pedestal? "Let me take you out "Save time for me" " I can pass any test".


    Showing too much interest and being pretty Beta.

    1. Don't double message her
    2.Keep the messages short and sweet
    3. You are IN CONTROL. So you tell her when you're going out and where...
    4. Since your text/message game is weak just try to use it to set up a meet, not to build rapport.
    5. Do not BEG her. You seem needy. You are the prize, not her. Have her qualify herself to you.

    Read this
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-text-gi...nal-bible.html

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-text-gi...ing-guide.html

  4. #4
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feedback on this FB message exchanges

    Sorry to keep going but this is horrible first message. Spells AFC

    It was really really nice meeting you.
    Seriously.
    You are smart, interesting, funny, entertaining... OK, also very beautiful : ). And yeah, with a little bit of meddlesome friends, but still OK : D.

  5. #5
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feedback on this FB message exchanges

    No please keep going, I'm glad to get feedback .

    Couldn't agree more with the "tell her when and where to", especially so when I already had a meeting set up with another girl (not trying to play the cool guy on an anonymous forum, it was just coincidence ).
    And on top of the "alpha male thing", thinking about ditching another person just because of another girl you might like more is immoral (well, I do care about being ethical ).

    About the "double messaging", I also agree.
    The thing about that is that some evenings that I'd like to go out but haven't anything planned with anyone I sometimes adopt this kind of behavior of messaging several girls and see what happens.
    It's not an excuse to double message and more times than not it's a bad idea as you burn bridges with people you might actually have a chance with.

    With "I can pass any test" I meant "she might be thinking about a serious thing, so I can play the guy who's ready to be the knight in shiny armor, confident he will be more than enough for whatever she might want in a guy. I wasn't sure I would have liked anything serious, but I wasn't sure about not willing either...
    The other side of the coin is also that I put myself as the one who has to fulfill her dreams. But I guess that sometimes it can be OK for the guy to play that "stereotypical part"?

    About the "lost interest", yes, chances are very high you are right. Again my bad frame, common to many I guess, is that of thinking "writing/calling won't cost me anything and it will give me a bigger than 0 chance against a 0 chance of not writing".

    About the first message, I don't agree 100%. I think I should have definitely cut "beautiful" part (no more writing before the day after ). Sometimes, may be many times, it's like you say, but not always.
    I thought there was really a connection, even more from her side than mine (I was leading the conversation, she was mimicking my movements, she was constantly closing her eyes when kissing, when there was a single friend of her left she still ditched her to stay with me etc. ). So I said "let's just be honest and let's not play the cool guy".
    I think it can be OK when you think there's good chemistry/rapport (sometimes you might also overdo it playing the alpha male guy who has to be wooed and even though no proof, it might not be a coincidence she still added me and wanted to meet after that first message).


    Another thing: I'm usually inclined to think people are more honest and ethical than sometimes they turn out to be, but it crossed my mind she might have changed her mind after she'd seen I had no car... ?


    Thanks for feed!

  6. #6
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feedback on this FB message exchanges

    Quote Originally Posted by lucifer7 View Post
    No please keep going, I'm glad to get feedback

    Only way we learn
    Couldn't agree more with the "tell her when and where to", especially so when I already had a meeting set up with another girl (not trying to play the cool guy on an anonymous forum, it was just coincidence ).
    And on top of the "alpha male thing", thinking about ditching another person just because of another girl you might like more is immoral (well, I do care about being ethical ).
    Haha, good.

    About the "double messaging", I also agree.
    The thing about that is that some evenings that I'd like to go out but haven't anything planned with anyone I sometimes adopt this kind of behavior of messaging several girls and see what happens.
    It's not an excuse to double message and more times than not it's a bad idea as you burn bridges with people you might actually have a chance with.

    I see what you're saying. But we game each girl individually, she will take it as needy and lose interest.


    With "I can pass any test" I meant "she might be thinking about a serious thing, so I can play the guy who's ready to be the knight in shiny armor, confident he will be more than enough for whatever she might want in a guy. I wasn't sure I would have liked anything serious, but I wasn't sure about not willing either...
    The other side of the coin is also that I put myself as the one who has to fulfill her dreams. But I guess that sometimes it can be OK for the guy to play that "stereotypical part"?

    Yes, but to be honest, I think you are not at that level yet. That is called COMFORT and yes she will need to have comfort to fuck you. But not yet dude, you need to maintain your frame through the attraction phase. Your last paragraph said it best, now you are the one jumping her hoops. Not good. Remember you ARE THE PRIZE. You have the right idea, but not yet.

    About the "lost interest", yes, chances are very high you are right. Again my bad frame, common to many I guess, is that of thinking "writing/calling won't cost me anything and it will give me a bigger than 0 chance against a 0 chance of not writing".

    Freeze her out for a bit, then come back with LESS AFC texts man. Treat her like any other girl, not a potential girlfriend. If things evolve then ease through the comfort stage. At the moment she clearly isn't attracted, so lets work at it again. Message her something fun and random. Just to get the ball rolling. dhv. Let her know casually how awesome your holidays have been, gifts your hot female friends got you, etc. You know the drill


    About the first message, I don't agree 100%. I think I should have definitely cut "beautiful" part (no more writing before the day after ). Sometimes, may be many times, it's like you say, but not always.
    I thought there was really a connection, even more from her side than mine (I was leading the conversation, she was mimicking my movements, she was constantly closing her eyes when kissing, when there was a single friend of her left she still ditched her to stay with me etc. ). So I said "let's just be honest and let's not play the cool guy".
    I think it's OK when you think there's good chemistry/rapport.

    No man, it is horrible. Honestly. I agree, I am a genuine guy. But honestly she gave you IOI, which is great. But you basically put her on a pedestal with that message. Like come on

    Ciao XXX!

    How are you? (Terrible)

    I hope everything's OK : ). (Lame)

    It was really really nice meeting you.
    (AFC)
    Seriously. (Double AFC)
    You are smart, interesting, funny, entertaining... OK, also very beautiful : ). (Wow dude, why don't you tell her she owns you) And yeah, with a little bit of meddlesome friends, but still OK : D.

    So, when can I invite you for an evening out for a drink, a movie, a dinner or something? : ) (We discussed this. You control the frame)


    XXX (the untrustworthy XXX guy guy in Nebe with a white shirt and with those "strange" mints. See they were not ecstasy in the end?
    )

    I'm usually inclined to think people are more honest and ethical than sometimes they turn out to be, but it crossed my mind she might have changed her mind after she'd seen I had no car... ?
    It could be. But you shouldn't think this right away. I mean you didn't play the cards right from the start. You showed TOO much interest. You let her control the frame. You weren't fun and engaging. Honestly I think that is more of a reason than the car. You came of like any other guy would. No challenge for her. That's my 2 cents. You can learn a lot from this mistake. Good luck man and merry xmas!

  7. #7
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feedback on this FB message exchanges

    Hmmm, not sure I know the drill, I get some reading is going to be helpful .

    Thanks Fuser, much appreciated!


    Anyone with further feed, suggestions, possible different approaches I could/should have taken... Very welcome


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