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  • 2 Post By Suave Kino
  • 1 Post By beaker52

Thread: Me and my girlfriend keep arguing. I need help.?

  1. #1
    jumpmanj2395 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Me and my girlfriend keep arguing. I need help.?

    We keep arguing. We've been in a relationship for 2 weeks and this is our 2nd argument. I dont want to loose her because we have something really special. But she's saying that shes done. But, after talking to her, I feel like I can still get her back.

    We keep fighting over small things. Our first fight was about her christmas gift that she gave me was candy. I didn't mean to make fun of it but, she took it the wrong way. But, everything was fine after that and we were still together. But yesterday, I thought she was tweeting cute things about me and I just had came back from her basketball game and my phone had died. So, when my phone came back on, I texted her asking about it. Well, then all hell broke loose and she got pissed at me because I didn't say hey to her and thats what I should have said first. So, and now today, shes telling be that she done with all of the arguing. And that we dont have a good relationship.

    So, I need alot of help right now. I don't want to lose her because of this. We do have something special. I don't know what I need to tell her right now so that everything will be OK. I need someone's help right now. Anything will be good for me to tell her that will make things right.

    I already know that we are fighting over small things. And all of that is clearly my fault. I just need something to say so that I can keep her.

  2. #2
    Suave Kino's Avatar
    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Me and my girlfriend keep arguing. I need help.?

    Dude, you are killing me. It's all my fault...please read any threads you can find on being beta versus alpha.

  3. #3
    pickuptranslator is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Me and my girlfriend keep arguing. I need help.?

    If your thinking about losing her than you have already lost her. 2 weeks is not a long time to be in a relationship I would just pedal onward.

  4. #4
    Dommer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Me and my girlfriend keep arguing. I need help.?

    Personally fighting over trivial things like that would be a clear sign to me that I wouldn't desire to be in a relationship with that person. If that type of petty stuff get's in the way now just imagine what would get in the way 6 months or 6 years from now. I would take that as a fortunate early sign to move on.

    Though if you want to give it a shot to keep it going. I would express basically what you said in your pst here. YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP. Hopefully you don't need to be wondering what best line to use to keep your girl around. You should be able to be real . So, if I was in your shoes and WAS desiring to maintain the relationship forward i would basically tell her why I valued her and I, and why I think we should continue to check it out (the relationship). Yet I would also through in there what I thought was ridiculous and what I wasn't willing to allow to continue (trivial games petty fights over what words I should have used first)

    ~ Dom

  5. #5
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Me and my girlfriend keep arguing. I need help.?

    This is very similar to what happened between me and my current LTR in the beginning. I'll tell you exactly how I overcame this and how she is madly in love with me now.

    First thing for you to accept is that....it's been two weeks! Not a big deal unless you treat it like one.

    Secondly, arguments are normal. However, you have to learn to choose your battles. If she argues about you not saying "Hey" then all you tell her is "Look, I don't know what's going on with you, but I don't like it. I'll talk to you later." THAT'S IT!

    Don't bail. Everyone bails. Either people are too proud to give up, or too proud to stay and work things out. Which one are you? I'll tell you that you won't get far if you aren't willing to work things out. Of course she has to be willing also, so always have a line that she shouldn't cross. Only argue about things that YOU feel are important. Everything else just walk away from. Whatever you put your attention on gives it power.

    There's a lot more about this, but that one rule about walking away should handle most of it. Pick your battles.

    Also its not normal to argue about what she picks at. There's a good chance she hasn't been in a long term relationship before. At least not a healthy one. So be prepared to walk away after exhausting all options.

    Also don't tell her what do to. Only tell her what you expect. Telling her what to do is controlling. Telling her you don't like something she says or does is not controlling. You're simply saying what you don't like and what you expect. Remember this whenever you disagree.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    beaker52 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Me and my girlfriend keep arguing. I need help.?

    Quote Originally Posted by Suave Kino View Post
    Dude, you are killing me. It's all my fault...please read any threads you can find on being beta versus alpha.
    I'm 5 minutes into this game and can see Kino has the patience of a saint to go through thread after thread like this, but he does.

    What I'm saying:
    It sounds like you're not an asshole so I doubt there's much wrong with you other than your inner game, which is a good start. But the main point is: Be fricking alpha man, don't let her ruffle your feathers. "We had something good going on" is basically AFC for "Here's my frame, you can keep it"

    Use your imagination if you need to, but as a kid, when you played up, your mom would whinge at you, get hysterical, cry, not know what to do and hide the cookie jar to stop you taking them. You knew that you shouldn't take the cookies, but you still did it because Mom's frame = zero.

    What did dad do? He ignored you. He let you do sh1t, because it didn't bother him. Until one day when you got his attention, then he acted. He didn't whinge, beg, plead. He didn't hide the cookie jar, in fact, he left it right where it always was, because he was so fricking alpha that he could. Whatever he said, he made it clear that if you fqcked with the cookie jar you wouldn't get to go with *him* to soccer practice, fishing, or whatever stuff you enjoyed about your dad.

    The same applies to trouble making HB's. If they act like children, don't be beta mom, be alpha dad. And I don't mean go round imposing yourself with a deep voice or giving her a physical hiding, just be prepared not to take her to soccer practice. Alpha at every turn. As long as you're reasonable, calm and clear headed, it's her privilege to be with you. That's to say, as long as you're alpha, it's her privilege to be with you.

    If you're not enjoying her arguments and trivialities, she's not what you enjoy (although, you're probably c0ckblind by the sounds of it, so you'll probably disagree with that statement). Alpha chooses. Alpha doesn't put up with crap he doesn't want. Alpha only entertains the things he enjoys because alpha doesn't have time for mediocrity. Alpha doesn't fear loss. Alpha knows she'd be missing out. Alpha gives her the room to correct herself, but doesn't depend on it. Alpha just acts and moves on, with or without her, frame intact.

    The difference between Alpha and D1ck is one isn't a d1ck about it.


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