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  1. #1
    randomhero411 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default you view me but dont message me why!

    clarkson95 on okcupid. I open pretty good not just the stupid "HI HELLO how are you etc" i get alot of views almost every time but noone ever seems to message me back is it m pictures my profile?

  2. #2
    ItsRaySuper is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: you view me but dont message me why!

    I feel you on this one bro, I get a grip of views but rarely do I get a message.

    I'm not sure if women normally open up men on these sites, maybe a view is kind of thier way of letting you know to msg them?

    I have no clue, if your "about me" is solid, and your pics dhv then you should be golden.

  3. #3
    jj22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: you view me but dont message me why!

    I see this same behavior too. I send a customized, thorough, funny, and zany message and it gets the girl to view my profile almost everytime but I usually never get a response. My gut feeling is that when this happens the picture is probably the problem. If a girl was really turned off by your writing I think she would message you to get more "writing samples" and see if it was just a fluke that your posted writing sucks.

    In the case of a bad picture she can't really message you and ask for more pictures. Plus I know when I search through a girl's pictures I review all of them and if I find a single "bad one" then that girl gets crossed off my list. Girls probably operate the same way.

    I've thought about messaging them a second time after my first message gets them to view my profile. The problem is I don't really know what to say without seeming needy. I also don't know how much time to let lapse between the two messages. And so I just don't message back. :-(

  4. #4
    BdeAMOR is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: you view me but dont message me why!

    Although I have only tested it briefly, I used a few tips that I found in this forum to send a second message after they view my profile. I had surprisingly good results.

    I will send a second message saying something along the lines of... "I saw you checking out my profile. I hope you're not stalking me now because that would be really weird. I hope you're not one of those kinds of girls, but I can't handle another one."

    From here you can tell a funny story about a girl who was stalking you. I like to tell my random story about a girl that tried to put a love spell on me and I had to resort to online dating so I could avoid meeting such weird women.

    I then close with a question like, "Have you ever had a time where you thought someone was stalking you?" -- You can use your own variation of this question. Definitely want to engage them somehow.

    Good luck!

  5. #5
    ParallelUniverse2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: you view me but dont message me why!

    I didn't even read your profile, you need pics with other people in my opinion at the very least. Also I'd try to swap your smile in the 3rd pic to a more symmetrical open mouth all teeth smile. I might be nit picking here, but these are just ideas.

  6. #6
    ParallelUniverse2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: you view me but dont message me why!

    Your profile and your pics aren't congruent bro. If you are the life of the party guy with your buddies, post those pics. That is another suggestion - I felt it half - assed to not check out your profile. Or if that isn't you, what are you really? Who are you?

  7. #7
    randomhero411 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: you view me but dont message me why!

    wow i am such a newbie on here i just found this ..

  8. #8
    the1nternational is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: you view me but dont message me why!

    Everyone will go through this stage for a while. A few months ago I was running some tests with some openers shortly after changing a few things around on my profile. My response rate dropped from around 40-50% to literally 0% over night and it lasted 3 weeks! I actually thought POF was broken and wasn't sending me the messages I was receiving! I mean, I could see they were looking!

    After a while of getting really frustrated with it and completely binning the test and putting my page 'offline' I came back, shuffled my photos around, and boom, problem solved! My response rate is through the roof now.

    I can't actually remember what the offending photo was. I actually liked it, it was my FB profile picture too! But, anyway, new picture, completely different response.

    I should say though - it is not all about the picture - I'm not a very good looking guy, and I'm honest with the images I use, but what pictures you use do require a little bit of thought behind them or this can happen.

  9. #9
    blitz8's Avatar
    blitz8 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: you view me but dont message me why!

    I'm in the same boat... lots of views after an opener but very few follow-throughs. I'm 95% sure it's my pictures, but here's the thing... All my "good" pictures are with my ex-wife and/or kids in them or from several years back. I'm not going to just photoshop a few (take the wife out or put my recent face on an old pic), but what can I do?

    All my friends at the stage are married and don't go out and party like rock-stars, well, ever. For us, it's hanging around drinking scotch, playing poker or going to a NFL game... but we don't exactly take pictures of us doing this.

    Only answer I can think of, it time to get younger friends, hah!

  10. #10
    the1nternational is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: you view me but dont message me why!

    Quote Originally Posted by blitz8 View Post
    I'm in the same boat... lots of views after an opener but very few follow-throughs. I'm 95% sure it's my pictures, but here's the thing... All my "good" pictures are with my ex-wife and/or kids in them or from several years back. I'm not going to just photoshop a few (take the wife out or put my recent face on an old pic), but what can I do?

    All my friends at the stage are married and don't go out and party like rock-stars, well, ever. For us, it's hanging around drinking scotch, playing poker or going to a NFL game... but we don't exactly take pictures of us doing this.

    Only answer I can think of, it time to get younger friends, hah!
    Well don't use photos that are years old because that would be dishonest. Unless you've not changed at all, but that's unlikely.

    If you go to NFL games with your guy buddies then take photos of that. It's social and fun and makes you seem like a safe guy (which is good btw).

    How about you invite your buddies out on a trip. They might have the fact that they have become boring since getting married. Get everyone out somewhere cool and not only will you be the center of awesomeness but you can get lots of cool photos of you being the center of awesomeness too...


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