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Thread: Girl I've been dating flaking/acting distant

  1. #11
    inter1010 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl I've been dating flaking/acting distant

    Dude!!!!

    First off, even if you love her, you have to have a ALPHA mentality..... I mean you could of seriously RUINED your relationship for something as dumb as "she was talking to another guy, at the end of the bar and she didn't introduce me like she usually does"!!!...."" CMON BROOOOOO!!!! ...... MAybe he's a regular and he tips well so she flirts. ALL girls do that in the restaurant/bar industry.... Maybe he's the bf of another girl there, maybe she's making you jealous???? all these are possible, but WHY does it instantly have to go to "SHES FUCKING HIM, or SHE's in LOVE WITH HIM".... Thats a WEAK BETA mind thinking. ITs hard to rid yourself of it, but just be aware of it and you'll be OK....

    This simple Mindset almost ruined you cause your following actions were based on your charged emotional state!!! .... You 1) assumed the worst and left the bar!.... Maybe thats why she didn't say bye or asked to go? Think about it. You were pissed on the inside and she feels like your just bailing on her to do something fun. She's gotta defend that EGO and be like "alright, peace out "!!... 2). Your mind went rampant and obsessed over why she's not calling, and yadda yadda then you even talked to her friend to do some reconnaissance work!!!!! thats a big NO NO. If she's a real friend she will eventually tell her what you said.

    Anyways bro, your good. BE Alpha and have fun

  2. #12
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl I've been dating flaking/acting distant

    I appreciate your reply, but I think you're mistaken on a few points. She wasn't working that night, she's a nurse not a bartender. And as I said, it wasn't the fact that she was talking to another guy, I really don't have a problem with that at all, she's very social and has a lot of friends. I left the bar because I had another party to go to, which she knew about and was originally supposed to come with me to. Well over an hour passed between the time she first went over to talk to the other guy and the time I left the bar, I didnt freak out or make a scene about it at all. I played it cool, hung out with her friends that were there and eventually had to leave...it was after all this happened that the questions started runnin through my head.

    And I didnt reach out to her friend, just happened to run into her and when she asked how everything was I told her. In fact, it was her friend that was adamant that I not say anything about our conversation. In the end, she came through.

  3. #13
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl I've been dating flaking/acting distant

    I played it cool, hung out with her friends that were there and eventually had to leave...it was after all this happened that the questions started runnin through my head.
    the second part is what inter means about the Mindset, learn not to give a fqck

  4. #14
    inter1010 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl I've been dating flaking/acting distant

    Oh shit ok!!!

    Did not know that!! Well if you've been dating for six weeks and what not and she is talking to somebody else like that then I would think she is shit testing the fuck outta you! ...

    Is your guys' sex life good? ... I don't know the details of your life but I don't think a normal girl would just say "whatever" and hit on a guy at a bar right infront of you, UNLESS ITS A shit test. Or unless she's the most cold hearted bitch in the world and you don't want a girl like that anywhere near you. ! You know her better than we do. Haha. I do believe it was a shit test an good job you passed! But who cared your the man . It's ur turn to test her.

  5. #15
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl I've been dating flaking/acting distant

    Hyp, I guess "played it cool" was a poor choice of words, because at the time I didn't really think anything of it. It really wasn't until afterwards that I started to go "hmmm..." But I understand what you're saying. Pretending like I don't care and actually not caring are a lot different.

    Inter, sex life is great...on some level I still think she was testing me, but it's all good.

    Thanks for your replies fellas.

  6. #16
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl I've been dating flaking/acting distant

    what i was getting at is if you don't actually care, everything becomes a lot better (not pretending because that's still caring - within reason still care but don't be all needy and change for the weaker) ,

  7. #17
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl I've been dating flaking/acting distant

    Oh I get that, I was just saying that pretending not to care is fairly easy...actually not caring is a whole different animal and something that's gotta be kind of worked up to...for me anyway. If anyone has some good tips for that I'm all ears.


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