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  • 1 Post By blazeboy

Thread: too much, too soon???????????

  1. #1
    just_my_luck is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default too much, too soon???????????

    Is it possible to come back from someone saying too much, too soon? I know she wants to keep her options open. How do I convey that I'm okay with that?

  2. #2
    blazeboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: too much, too soon???????????

    Best recovery here is to just disengage and get back to your own active fun life. Sounds like you came on too strong too fast. Pull back. Stay in contact, and be fun and flirtatious when you see her around, but keep things short. I think guys in general, espeically me when i started out, that tends to be a big problem. My emails were too long, my opener and routines, etc. were too long, my texts were too long... all too soon as well. Try to avoid that. It takes discipline if you are not used to it, but less is more in these situations.
    The world is your matrix. You control the strings.

  3. #3
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: too much, too soon???????????

    Do like Blazebly said and just don't bring it up again. Let it be just this unspoken thing between you that she and you both know that you and she both will be seeing other people. If you tell hersomething like "it's cool" then you give her waaay too much value because that tells her that she's sooo desirable sje deserves multiple men. Just ignore it because, guess what, YOU are also keeping your options open... right? Right.

    P.s. when you say she wants to keep her options open as in a non-exclusive relationship (that's what I figured when typing the above) rather than "keep my options open" was just her way of saying LJBF?
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  4. #4
    just_my_luck is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: too much, too soon???????????

    I feel like a complete idiot cause I really dig this girl and would like to escalate.We met online and have gone out four times. The last time that I got to see her was when she came to my place. She ended up spending the night with me in my bed. She stated that she didn't want to rush things so I made sure not to push sex. We ended up spooning the whole night. There was a good deal of touching and kissing but nothing more. Later that night I sent a picture of an expensive bottle of wine and asked her to tell me when she would like some. I was playful and sent a follow up text saying the wine of course. She replied with a lol and a smile but no real response. The next night I was more direct and asked her to come over for a drink. I got a reply that she would love to share a drink with me soon, but no time frame. This was Christmas Eve so I gave it a few days until I made contact again. I asked her out a few times since then and she has always dodged without ever commiting. She still responds to my texts. What do you think she is thinking? Do you think I might of came off too strong and did this possibly move too fast? I have a lot to learn Lol.

  5. #5
    just_my_luck is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: too much, too soon???????????

    I think I already know what I did wrong. Just wanted some expert opinions and if its possible to recover. Will take the advice on backing off. Thanks for the reply!

  6. #6
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: too much, too soon???????????

    You need to back down a little. My rule is if you get a rejection for a date then you need to back off and build more attraction before continuing.

    From hear it can be recovered but you need to let her do a bit of chasing not you. I'm gonna guess you always text her and she never texts you?

  7. #7
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: too much, too soon???????????

    Quote Originally Posted by just_my_luck View Post
    I asked her out a few times since then and she has always dodged without ever commiting. She still responds to my texts. What do you think she is thinking? Do you think I might of came off too strong and did this possibly move too fast? I have a lot to learn Lol.
    I think you didn't come off strong enough. You gotta be more alpha and more dominant. When she said she didn't want to move too fast - that was LMR. Obviously don't force anything, but a girl wants a man to be dominant. Assignment 1: Learn the difference between token resistance and actual resistance (through reading as well as field testing/blowing out unfortunately lol).

    The "want some?" ..."I mean the wine" thing - that was good. I'm gonna use it .

    As for her responding to the texts but not confirming plans - she like the texting and you chasing her because it gives her validation, but she's too comfortable with you (borderline teddybear/puppy dog situation going on, sorry to say) too comfortable with the way things are i.e. you kinda chasing her - she doesn't want to escalate or give the opportunity to escalate physically.
    Assignment 2: get a new target to game and try a few alpha traits. Red Baron, Tyrone, Vigil, Cody, Kino and a few other whom I'm sure I've left out by accident have some great threads on Alpha to look through.

    Assignment 3: Maybe try being a bit of a d1ck to this girl. That could bring down the comfort and up the attraction. Not gonna lie tho, I've used that a few times and I'm kinda wondering if those were flukes or if it works consistently for such extreme cases of flakage
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  8. #8
    just_my_luck is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: too much, too soon???????????

    She texted me today saying that she was thinking of me. Do I validate a response?


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