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Thread: Help! I planned a date 9 days away - when do I tell her?

  1. #1
    Neu16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Help! I planned a date 9 days away - when do I tell her?

    Met this girl on a dating site before the New Year. She actually added and messaged me first. Eventually she added me on FB then gave me her number out of the blue.

    I'm 22 yrs. I told her I'm still interested in talking and eventually meeting but I want to take things slow. She was okay with the idea and went on to confirm she was still very much interested.

    I decided today (Thursday) that I'm going to plan a lunch for next Saturday which is 9 days away. That's the earliest possible time to meet up. Should I tell her tomorrow about the date or wait another week? Im afraid if I wait too long that she may lose interest or think I'm indecisive or something. But if I choose to tell her tomorrow, how do I keep her interest up until we meet? After telling her, should I just drop off the radar for a few days or is it okay to continue to text. We've talked almost everyday since first contact.

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    Default Re: Help! I planned a date 9 days away - when do I tell her?

    I guess it comes down to personal preference and what kind of girl she is. But I would not plan a first date 9 days in advance. Think of it this way...the more ahead the plan, the more important the girl is to you.

    So say you plan a month in advance...then she better be your wife. If you plan at the last min and just call her out of the blue then she isn't quite as important since you didn't take the time to actually schedule free time for her.

    If she says she can't meet you then it's not flaking because it's last min. It simply let's her know she missed her opportunity. Unless you do it the next day and the day after. Then it's just desperate lol.

    Oh and yes talk to her. If you can talk everyday that's fine. You want to keep the momentum. So go with the flow. Attraction is like a flame that needs to be fed. There's no such thing as "locking in" what you think you have built with her.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

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    Default Re: Help! I planned a date 9 days away - when do I tell her?

    Thanks for the reply. Before I read your reply, I ended up finding another site where someone asked if it was ok to set up the date a week ahead. Almost everyone said yes so I went with it. Left me pretty confused; can tell how it went. Instead of asking her if she would go out w/ me on Sarurday, I pretty much laid it out that she WAS going go out with me. Read more below:

    Me: hey miss lady. Hoodrat here. (picked up on one of her FB statuses and ran with it)

    Her: stop, hey. (couldn't tell if it was a playful "stop" like "lol stop" or if she just wasn't taking it well that I was picking on her)

    ... A few texts later

    She mentions that she's going to bed soon.

    Me: Let me get to the point then. Next Saturday 11:03 a.m.

    Her: what

    Me: your going to meet me for brunch.

    Her: aww (aww! And no explanation. I'm confused. Is she not interested? Or did she really think It was sweet?)

    Me: get some sleep. I'll text you the specifics later.

    Her: no reply.


    Can you help me decipher this conversation? Did she lose interest? Or perhaps just fall asleep? Or is she playing games? I'm going to let her initiate the next text conversation or call (however long that may take) that way I know for sure if she's interested.

    Im just not sure about texting her everyday We''n though I want to. I don't want to look clingy but I want to hold her interest until that first day. And do I keep it small talk? Or actually conversation? Usually I end up text novels when talking which really want to avoid.

  4. #4
    Suave Kino's Avatar
    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help! I planned a date 9 days away - when do I tell her?

    Bro, she text you five words. Either she was with somebody when you were texting her or she isn't all that interested. My thought is that if she was with somebody else she will get back to you when she has the chance. If she doesn't then she probably isn't all that interested.

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    Default Re: Help! I planned a date 9 days away - when do I tell her?

    Not text her everyday. But talk everyday. And that's only if you both are on fire for each other. Usually happens after you build some comfort and rapport. That's when a lot of the game playing slows down on both sides.

    From that exchange it tells me she is not interested at all and she just doesn't feel like telling you hoping you'll get the hint. Not saying you have no chance, but for now you really have to distance yourself. For a while. Start talking with other women to get some practice and you can always come to her later.

    Although Kino may be right about her being with someone else possibly. Either way you have to fall back and let her come to you. You've done all you can for the moment.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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