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  1. #1
    helloworld is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Asking whether or not she wanted exclusivity.

    When do you think is the proper time to ask whether she wants to be exclusive or not?

    Okay, so I've been with a Japanese fb for 1 month now. She's having some personal trouble so I let her "decide" to take some time between us. That was 2 days ago. Yesterday I slept for first time with a woman from my uni that I really like. She's here studying for erasmus (scholarship) for 1 year, now 6 months left.

    Thing is, we were hanging out and making out for around 2 months, but nothing more happened. Until last night that I went to her home to "watch a movie". I decided to wait until the middle of the movie to try anything, but then little after it started she was sleeping. I decided what the hell? so I stayed there with her to sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night and started having sex suddently. I was still half-asleep so after a while I got tired (also gotta hit the gym ) so we stopped.

    Then we kept sleeping and in the morning exactly the same thing plus I was having trouble with the comdon. Long story short, we ended up just doing it without comdon as she was on the pill (plus the last comdon was hers).

    Then we were all day at the uni, studying, and few hours ago I offered a ride back which she took. While driving:

    Me: do you want to be exclusive
    HB: oh sh1t the talk...
    Me: not any talk, it's just a question
    HB: with you?... I'm in Erasmus for only 6 months and... (reasons for saying no)
    Me: okay, I don't mind
    HB: (more reasons)
    Me: wait, what did you mean with "with you?"
    HB: ...
    ...
    some short chit chat and she went out

    She was NOT bitchy at all, something that cannot be appreciated in the written text without some of her laugh. But anyway what she said is that. It's the first time she says something "hurtful" to me, and, if Pavlov taught something to us is that this should be "punished". Is not contacting her until she contacts me a good idea? I might see her at the exams anyway...

    The worst thing is that I didn't ask because of her being around with other men (which I don't mind at all), but with me being with other women. I have no idea on what to do next. I guess just keeping being myself and having fun. So, when do you think it's appropriate to ask it and how? I think I might have said it too eager, even more considering that it was obvious that I was not her only sexual partner.
    My English is probably not completely right and you might need an extra effort to figure out what I actually meant. Also I'm not a pro, but I keep practicing and learning almost every day.

  2. #2
    Shortman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Asking whether or not she wanted exclusivity.

    Never ask that question, if you have to, your probably out. Let the girl bring it up, trust me, we have all been there and learned the hard way.

  3. #3
    helloworld is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Asking whether or not she wanted exclusivity.

    Luckily enough it turns out that nothing has changed between her and me. I've also found out that "awkward situations" are mostly created by yourself. If you feel awkward, you will make it that way. If you ask a normally "awkward" question and you are completely calm and fine, it's much more likely that it doesn't get awkward than the other way.
    My English is probably not completely right and you might need an extra effort to figure out what I actually meant. Also I'm not a pro, but I keep practicing and learning almost every day.


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