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  1. #1
    Captain_28's Avatar
    Captain_28 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Please rate / critique my opening message.

    I have been using this and have been having some success with this message, please critique and share input. Thanks





    Do you know why you suck? Because before I even say a word to you, you're already going to assume I am just like every lonely loser on this site. ;-) While I'm not going to send you the same message, I'm sure everyone else on here has already sent to you, I wanted to start off by saying your very beautiful. But then again ... beauty is common. I read your profile and it's good to see that you have more going for you, other than your looks. :-) At first glance I wasn't really sure if you were my type, but there seems to be something special/different about you. I have to do a few things around the house, so I'm going to get going, but I just wanted to introduce myself and say hello. Talk to you soon.

    ~ A
    Every journey begins with 1 step.

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Please rate / critique my opening message.

    Do you know why you suck? Cuz this suck. Hehe. This is for your own good. In all honesty, it looks like a mix between a psychologist and a shoestring card.

    It's too obvious you are TRYING too hard. And by doing so, you are coming off as a bit pretentious as if you are compensating for something.

    You don't have to say that she assumes you are "coming off as a lonely loser" and lead her because she is going to think you are a "lonely loser" because, hey, you brought it up. All you are doing is creating the opposite effect and revealing your hand. There is no subtlety in this. It's like you are telling her how she is suppose to feel.

    A good email opener instills emotions. This isn't one of them. If it does, it not going to be one you won't like. I don't know what kind of emotion you are tying to incite. Laughter? Well it's not funny. Memorable? There's nothing original here that stands out.

    Don't need to even bring up her looks. Leave it at "It's good she's got alot going for her."
    Don't need to bring up what other guys are doing. Who cares. She already knows.

    Keep it short and powerful. No girl is going to want to read a wall of text.

    I recommend you to read T-Mal's post on online dating. That's how to do it effectively.

    You might have had success with it, then more power to you, but take my critique for what it is worth.

  3. #3
    Captain_28's Avatar
    Captain_28 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please rate / critique my opening message.

    Appreciate you taking the time. You made some solid points. Ive been getting some success with some 7's and 8's but no 9's or 10's ... Im going to read the suggested articles now. Thank you again.
    Every journey begins with 1 step.


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